The "Sorority Type."

Hey everyone! I'm new to GC, but before I wrote this post, I did search for related material on the forums, but came up with nothing.

So...here goes.

I have always been considered "quirky" by my classmates and family. I'm usually that one girl that has a bunch of guy friends, wears Tripp pants, has tattoos and piercings, plays video games, and talks about computers. Needless to say, I never had very many girl friends (found them too catty and uninteresting), and DEFINITELY wasn't considered "the sorority type."

My freshman year of college, I decided to go through Fall Rush. The only reason I can recall ever doing it, regardless of my preconceived notions and previous experience with other females, was because I wanted to experience EVERYTHING that College had to offer, for I didn't want to get older, graduate, and regret not at least trying it. As a bonus, I wanted to see what Sorority Life was really like, and not just base my opinions on things I've seen and heard. Kudos to me? :P

So...I rushed, I got a bid, accepted it, pledged, was initiated, and was SO EXCITED because it seemed like my sorority actually accepted and embraced my "quirkiness"...even saw MORE to me than just that-- they saw that I was a natural leader, ruthlessly passionate, and very family- and community-oriented. I enjoyed it immensely....I even enjoyed telling my old classmates that I was in a sorority, just to hear them say "YOU?! NO WAY!! I NEVER thought you'd be one to do that!!" I'm not exactly sure why...but I think it gave me pleasure knowing that I can and will do whatever I set my mind to, regardless of others' preconceived notions and expectations of me.

I LOVED my sorority.

To spare yall the lengthy, drawn out version of the story, the end result was my withdrawal. Even though it was for medical reasons (having major surgery next month and expected time for full recovery is uncertain), the fact that I ended up feeling tolerated (not ignored, not isolated....just tolerated), my big and I never spoke (regardless of the many times I tried to go out to lunch with her), and felt that sorority events was more like a JOB than a LOVE, I thought that sorority life just wasnt for me and I should just cut my losses.

It's been about a month since I dropped, and I'm having serious regrets. Everywhere I look around me, I'm reminded of my sorority life-- my jersey, my Big/Lil Revealment presents, my Composite, even my screen saver has my sorority's motto on it from when I first joined and put it on there. I get on facebook, and I'm constantly seeing sisters adding photos of this past Fall Recruitment, my pledge class's new Littles, and everyone going skating on Bid Day. I miss having all that......

After much reflection, I've realized that I never REALLY gave sorority life a chance. I evaded as many events as possible, had a crappy time when I did go (because I didnt want to be there...at the time, I was smack dead in the middle of my "lost in college and partying" phase), was kinda quiet when I was around my sisters, and never really opened up to them, or gave them the chance to open up to me. Now that I feel like I have my head back on my shoulders steadily and I'm out of my frequent partying phase, should I try to rejoin after I'm fully recovered from my surgery? I think about it almost every single day, and I can't decide whether it would be a great idea to really give it a shot, or just a waste of time?


Sorry this was kinda long, but thanks so much in advance!!