My Sorority Pledge? I Swore Off Sisterhood

[TSteven]

From what the author wrote, she is not blaming her former sorority sisters for her rape. Nor from what I read is anyone else alluding that she is blaming her former sorority sisters for the rape. What she has said is that they failed to support her during her crisis.

And they not only failed to support me in crisis, they collectively kicked me as I lay in the gutter, judged me from under a veil of hypocrisy, then cast me out, leper-style. Their betrayal cut so deep that it has left me anxious and cowering to this day.

And where does she say she fears or hate women? I'm not even sure she is angry at women. She has a valid viewpoint based from a very real, very personal, and very painful situation. It may not be a popular one, but it is a view point that other GC posters have acknowledged as well.

I’ve found my fears about women’s covert competition and aggression to be frequently validated: the gossip, the comparisons, the withering critiques of career and mothering choices. We women swim in shark-infested waters of our own design. Often we don’t have a clue where we stand with one another — socially, as mothers, as colleagues — because we’re at once allies and foes.

No where does she say she is not getting help now or ever refused it. (Apologies, but I can not quote something that has not been said.) She point blank says she tried to find closure. So when or how did questioning a horrific life experience become the cause of self hating much less being the potential cause of her daughters' possible self hating?

I want to remain optimistic. After all, here I am with three daughters. What am I to teach them? Cautionary tales about men’s harmful proclivities abound. But how do we help our girls navigate the duplicitous female maze? How do we ensure that they behave authentically, respect humanity over fleeting alliances, and squash the nasty tribal instincts that can inflict lifelong distress.

Frankly, there is no cookie cutter approach to healing. As such, I applaud the author for her courage, her determination to remain optimistic, and her concern over the need to teach her daughters.