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This maybe isn't much consolation, but what that one sorority member told you is completely "illegal" in the world of rush. Members are not to say anything that could even be miscontrued as promising a bid, or encouraging a girl to suicide. And it sounds like she flat-out did both. But I know that if I was a rushee and a chapter told me to do that, I would trust them.
For that reason alone I might think twice about that particular chapter. Maybe it's just one girl who is "dirty rushing," but maybe not.
I know it took courage to go through informal after your experience, and that shows you are serious about Greek life. I would suggest going through formal rush again if you still want it, hard as it may seem. And I know your instincts might be against this, but don't cut any more houses than you have to - get to know all the chapters as well as you can. If you end up with a bid from somewhere you don't want to go, you can always turn it down. But a chapter can change a lot even in one year.
I'm not someone who believes in fate or that things will always turn out for the best, so, yes, it is possible you will be hurt again. But your high school background sounds strong, and it sounds as if you're very involved now as well. You sound like the sort of woman a sorority should want. If you know any Greek women (in your classes or other organizations), you may want to get to know them better. I don't mean "suck up" but just chat with them. If they know who you are and have a positive impression of you going into rush, that could help you - you'll be someone they know rather than a face in the crowd.
Good luck. Being Greek is a wonderful experience, but so is college, whether or not one is Greek. Whatever happens it sounds like you have the qualities to make the best of your college years and your life.
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