Tale of 3 Daughters

[IHPiPrez]

My best friend (whose daughters, by the way, have all gone Greek) asks me every year to tell this story to at least a couple Mom’s of PNMs. She thinks it’s a great illustration of how we as Moms have dreams for our daughters that they don’t always share. So here goes the first chapter of “Tale of 3 Daughters”……

My Story

I grew up in Florida. The spring of my junior year I spent a couple weekends with my best friend visiting her older sister at the U of F. Her sister was in a sorority and we had a blast with her those weekends. I had only brothers and I realized this would be the perfect way to acquire the sisters I’d always wanted! So, since I knew that I wanted to be Greek and my parents made it clear that my college choices were limited to “in state”, I ended my junior year determined that I would attend the U of F and join a sorority.

Unfortunately, things took a different turn for me that summer. My Dad passed away unexpectedly leaving my Mom to raise 3 kids on her own. I passed the first few months of my senior year struggling with the loss of my wonderful father, trying to help my Mom cope with her loss and helping out with my younger brothers when Mom went back to work. I didn’t even think about college applications until a few weeks before Thanksgiving when I saw a sign up sheet for appointments with the college guidance counselor. When I mentioned this to my Mom that evening, she sighed and told me she had been meaning to talk to me. She had decided to accept a job a few states away and we would be moving in December. She went on to say that since I wouldn’t be eligible anymore for in state tuition in Florida, that I needed to figure out where I wanted to apply in our new state. Horrors!! Not only was I leaving the only home I’d ever known and all my friends, my dream of being a sorority girl at the U of F was gone as well. Blinking back tears, I only nodded and went to my room.

December came and we packed up and headed to our new home. After Christmas, I started the last semester of my senior year at a new school and with no idea where to apply to college. (For all of you younger GCers, remember that this was in the days when there was no SAT prep, kids attended schools they had never even visited and parents were not as involved as today!) I made an appointment with the guidance counselor to discuss my options and she gave me literature for each of the state universities and sent me home to contemplate my options. I fell in love with one university the moment I opened the brochure. Beautiful red brick sidewalks and buildings, towering oaks, excellent academics and a strong Greek system! What more could a girl want? I filled out the application and sent it on its way thinking that things may work out after all.

So the day finally came and the envelope was thick. I had been accepted! By this time, I had made some friends at my new school and many of them were receiving thick envelopes as well. I was glad that I wouldn’t be starting a new school for the second time that year not knowing a soul. That night, as my Mom and I eagerly read through the packet of information, we noticed that the tuition was a LOT more that we had thought. Maybe this was a total including housing and meals? But it wasn’t. After reading more carefully, I discovered that I wasn’t eligible for in state tuition. Apparently, you had to live in the state for a full year before you were. Were they kidding?? I understood why I wasn’t eligible in FL, I didn’t LIVE there anymore. But to not be eligible for the state I did live in, well I just didn’t get it. I looked at my Mom and knew right then that I wouldn’t be attending my dream university in this state either…. at least not for my freshman year. Okay I thought, new plan. I’ll reapply and transfer next year when I’ll be “in state”.