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In one of the two chapters I am in the pledges choose their big brother - no way out. In the other, that choice can be actually overruled at the chapter meeting for the initiated brothers. But that rarely happens.
Unfortunately we don't have any regulation for being good/bad big bro - it just happens to click differently, I guess.
I have an excellent relationship to my big brother still after 10 years and have an excellent relationship to my first little brother, I am also still in touch with the two other little brothers but not much more than that.
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