Verbal Assault and Sexual Harassment...

[DeltAlum]

justamom,

That's really funny. And that's about when this whole thing starts. You say a word and then look over your shoulder to see if you've gotten in trouble -- then giggle. Makes you a real adult!

Since you all understand my post, I thought it would be good if I figured it out myself. Seriously.

Mom and Hoc may be closest -- but it goes beyond specifics, I think.

I will say that I started thinking about this stuff seriously a few years ago. I was a director-level manager at a big multi-national company (the pecking order is manager/director/VP). I had been having a friendly, kind of jocular, conversation with one of the managers who reported to me, a woman who was and is still a very good friend. When she left, I started really thinking about the kind of language I had been using and how it could have really caused me and the company a huge problem if my friend and I ever had a falling out. We didn't, but it was startling. I went down the hall to her office and appologized to her, although she said there was no reason to. I told her that it wouldn't happen again, and it didn't.

I had been a diversity instructor for a big company in years past, and here I was using inappropriate lauguage -- allbeit in jest and a spirit of fun. It was just part of the way we talk, but it was illegal in the broad context of business. Any someone else might have been deeply offended without my even knowing it.

In that same job, I had to write a letter of reprimand and later ask for the resignation of a really good guy and employee because he just couldn't keep his mouth shut in terms of jokes, etc.

Those were real wake up calls.

So, that's part of the reason. But it goes even deeper than than.

As I've thought about this over the past couple of days, I've realized that I'm disappointed in us.

As Greeks we claim that we hold ourselves to a higher standard. We swear a fraternal oath which probably talks about how to live better lives and help others and be good and model citizens. We are leaders. We set examples.

Then, in a public forum, we talk like a bunch of kids on a street corner.

Most of us will say that we aren't offended by the language -- and that's probably true -- but if only one person is offended we've misused this marvelous communications device we've been given.

Most of would say that we wouldn't use crass language in a large gathering. Well, that's what this is. We're just not looking each other in the eye as we do it.

And, before anyone brings up the inevitable, this is not a free speech issue. The First Amendment doesn't apply. Nobody is saying you can't say anything. Nobody is forcing any issue or threatening any penalties.

This is a matter of maturity and taste.

This is not a crusade. I'm not going to try to clean up everyone's language. Mine is bad enough -- at least in weaker moments. Maybe the next time you start to type F---, you'll just stop to ask if it's necessary to make your point.

In the end, this is not my problem.

I offer no solution. It's up to all of us to decide if one is needed.