Actually I agree with AggieDZ, Twinstars and partially with PKTSU01, although they wrote it much better than I did
.
My sentence got lost in my tendancy to become a little silly, and start gaving useful advice for
mutually beneficial emotional manipulation.
KillarneyRose, that hasn't happened to me yet, a girl giving the talk and saying upfront that she wants to keep it casual so I can go forth and sample the wares of others.
And I have never brought up the committment thing with anyone first, I was always like:
The more I like you, the more I time I will want to spend time with you, and the more I will let you know the intensity and breadth of my regard both verbally and demonstrably (was that even a sentence?) And I am pretty verbal and demonstrative.(Authors note: Demonstrably is spelled corectly even though it doesn't look right).
With the converse also being true. I have left relationships when I would rather have sat home playing computer chess in the nude listening to big band music from the twenties than go spend time with the girl. In otherwords poison ivy can become preferable and a welcome excuse.
PKTSU01, I don't agree with the blame issue or labelling the offending guy an asshole. I (you and others may) have never been able to read minds. So I really don't know what her intentions are one way or the other. So as long as I don't lie to her and mislead her, and she still wants to have sex, why should I double-think my way into blue balls and a cold shower? I am not sure the moral obligation that requires I be punished that badly. Surely, I am then the victim for her getting me all hot and bothered when I didn't realize she wanted some frightening level of the "C" word.
Also, and this has happened to me, I have found myself agreeing to a committment because she brought up the talk and I realized its awfully difficult to step back a pace in a relationship. Ever try and start seeing others after a long term committment? Someone always gets devastated. So, I am mentally thinking a fair answer would be, shouldn't we wait a little longer to see if we are more compatible?
However, I can see her exclusively WHILE we figure out whether we are compatible, which isn't always bad cause it gives the person a fairer chance than they may have gotten. (If you are dating two people you are paying less attention to each than you would be if you dated one).
But if I don't agree, she is going to feel rejected unless she is unusually mature, in which case she may not have brought the subject up so early!
That is why I mention the word/mind games as a way to buy time!
Well there! *pant*
Quote:
Originally posted by James
However, a word to the wise for the boys:
If a girl is initiating "the talk" she is usually looking for an answer of committment or something, or at least the promise of a promise for future committment . . .
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