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Listen To AggieDZ on this one everyone. THAT is the voice of experience and knowledge right there.
I wish I knew what I know now back when i was making mistakes in college with both younger and older women, I could have avoided hurt on both ends. The worst thing to have is miscommunication. God forbid you get into a situation where you aren't on the wrong page you could have what I call the "Jerry Maguire Syndrome". Ya know, you really do LIKE someone, but she LOVES you, and thinks you feel the same. The worst thing that any guy (or girl) can do is wake up the next morning and realize that last night was a mistake. Not necessarily cause you are now a "ho", but because now you have to deal with the repercussions and emotions that come with having sex that was a mistake.
As far as the friend with benefits thing goes, well, I'm not really sure you can "find' yourself in the situation even when you are looking for a relationship. The bottom line on that one is, if you liked the girl enough to want a relationship in the first place, the hooking up part wouldn't have happened so quick, it would have waited until it actually meant something.
This is where I have no pity for people when they say they legitimately "want" a relationship, yet don't have the self control to keep their dick in their pants. EVEN if the girl was the one to initiate the action...if she was younger, and inexperienced, and worst of all, unsure of herself with you, you took advantage, plain and simple. Women are real delicate and all when they are getting into these types of experiences for the first time. Now, while i wouldn't call the guy an asshole for finding himself in this situation, i would say that he F*$(#d up. All isn't lost, cause if he is legitimately a good guy, the issue won't ever come up again, cause he will know better. That happened to me freshman year and I felt like shit, i couldn't even talk to the girl for two months. Since then, I've learned to communicate better and be upfront and honest about what you really want from her. if it's only ass that's fine, just make sure she's on the same page. But if all you want is ass, even when you know she wants more, and still take advantage of the situation, well, there's no excuse on that one.
Of course, don't think I'm passing judgement on any one person or anything like that. if there is a guy who has messed up in the past, it was me, but at least I learned from it. No excuse not to. That's what separates a legitimate "good guy" who messed up from a guy who has the potential to be decent, but has poor judgement.
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