Estranged father...

[pinkyphimu]

have your kids ever talked to him? if not, then i would not recommend even having them write thank you notes. you can wrtie them on the children's behalf, but don't make them do it. plus, if they have never met/ talked to him and start getting gifts and are expected to write thank yous it can be more confusing than helpful. give the kids the gift cards, tell them santa brought them and be done with it.

if your children have met/ talked to him, but not in a long time, then i think thank yous are perfect, but i would not make them write any more than you would in a typical thank you.

fortunately, i have a wonderful relationship with my parents. however, i had a favorite aunt who for whatever reason, left and cut off all contact with our family. i was about 10 when this happened and was devastated. after a few years, she contacted my mom, but would hang up the phone if anyone else answered. when i found that out it made it worse. i know i didn't do anything, but i was just a kid, and it made me feel like i did something to make her leave. as an adult, i would occassionally get that feeling even tho i know very well that i had absolutely nothing to do with her leaving. i was lucky becuase a few years ago, i had the opportunity to tell her that i felt that way. she cried and apologized. we don't talk. she doesn't talk to my family, but at least i was able to express what i had felt for years.