Prank Call Gone BAD!!!!

[DELTABRAT]

Originally posted by JD1913
Dear Diane,

Sweetie, Im only telling you this because I care. I have to be honest. Im a little worried about you and your choice in men.

Back in the day when you hooked up with Boone's Farm, and was all in looooove, everyone thought that it was just a phase that you would eventually grow out of... so we let you do you.

I mean seriously.... who am I to interfere with my girl's happiness? But when you started showing up late for work, IF you went at all, and letting yourself go, and then you had that smell coming out of every orifice and your pores... I knew there was a problem. But I kept quiet, and I will always regret that.

But then there was Thunderbird, Ripple, Night Train, and MD (who was always bragging about his 20/20 vision after he had you bumping into walls and getting into car accidents). They were all so offensive that your friends and family asked you to never ever ever bring them around again... That should have been a sign to you dear, but noooo.

Then there was Wild Irish Rose. Now I gotta be honest it wasnt the interracial nature of the relationship that bothered me more than DEEP DOWN, even though he was in a prettier package, and had a less ghetto name... I knew he was JUST like all of the others.

Oh, you dont know how much I wanted to be wrong!!!!! But alas, he too proved to be not much more than a headache inducing, bags under your eye giving, loser, who eventually left his stench all over you and your good name.

And along came Cisco, well we all know what happened with that...

The bottom line is Diane, its got to stop. I care too much about you to allow you to continue down this path of desctruction. We are all allowed to make bad choices Diane, but GET IT TOGETHER! I know it sounds harsh, but this is called tough love.

Now, we are gonna get you cleaned up, cause I know after marrying Cisco you kind of distanced yourself from the old gang (but Ive already talked to Soap and Water and they ware willing to forgive you) ... and I promise you the storm wont last always, and when you are ready I will intruduce you to two wonderful friends of mine Mr. Belvedere and Grey Goose. Again, Diane, its because I care...

Your Package Store Pal,

JD 1913

Soror, I am in stitches at this.