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The number one thing is this: Don't judge or criticize her family to her or in front of the collegians.
This is her battle. Let her make the decision.
For the future, keep doing what you're doing. Send informational packets home to the parents with a personal letter from the Big Sisters. Invite the parents of member to special pre-recruitment Preview Weekends and invite everyone to Family Weekends during the school year.
If the member wants to get out from under her mother's thumb, she needs to do it for herself.
If you get overly involved, you'll get hurt, and the mother has the potential to make hell for you and the chapter. Don't let that happen.
Be sympathetic, be supportive-- if a sister knows of an open housing situation or parttime job, let that sister recommend it to the NM. Hold NM programming on homesickness, self-respect, self-accountability, etc.
Know that this is an atypical parent.
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