Advice? / Vent :)

[AOPiChrissie]

Hi everyone!! I kinda need to vent and some advice could be helpful... so heres the deal.. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years.. at some points it got kinda rocky but lately things had gotten really good. Well last week I found a letter that he had written to a girl back home saying that "the next time I come home, if someone won't find out.. wink wink" So I figured he was cheating on me and called things off.. well he explained that it was a misundersanding so I stupidly forgived him! I joined AOPi about a month ago and we had a first exchange with a fraternity that is not his, and I calle dhim whne I got home from it and he stormed into my house screaming about how i am a slut and probably hooked up with tons of guys at the exchange and what not ... he called me a lot of names! Then he crossed the line...he shoved me up against a wall. Now here is the part I could use some girl advice on... I still want to call him and say I am sorry and make everything better..I know that what he did was wrong, but i feel like it was my fault.. even though i did not do anything with anyone, I didn't do anything to piss him off. So , any ideas on how to keep my mind off of him and my hands off the phone? I know i don;t deserve to be treated like this... Sorry this is long and full of drama thanks!!