Way back in high school and early college I thought that I was hugely overweight. I was 5'3 and varied from 125-135 back then, and wore a size 12. I didn't go out for majorettes in high school because I thought my thighs were too big to wear one of those little skirts. I thought when the guys on campus were hooting and hollering out the dorm windows at me that they were making fun of me. I thought the Tekes who nicknamed me Adrienne (for Adrienne Barbeau) that they were making fun of me.
pic of Adrienne, in case you don't know who she is
I thought I was the "biggest" girl in my sorority. In my head, I was.
In retrospect, I look at pics of my whole chapter back then and I realize the truth. I looked great. I had curves, yes. I had a very curvy but short body and thought that meant I was fat. I was NOT the biggest, in fact, I was right in the middle.. not real skinny, definitely not fat. In my head though, I was huge. The result? I decided at some point that I couldn't fight it anymore and if I was fat, I was going to be fat and happy and eat whatever I wanted. I am now a plus size woman and I think it was because I thought I was big all along.
I worry when I hear young women saying the same things about themselves. If I had seen myself realistically back then, I don't think I ever would've gotten as heavy as I ended up at one point. A size 12 is not big.
Dee
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