Lifesaver -
well bud, i read your post over a couple times trying to grasp the situation as best as possible. Also because you contribute so much here we gotta give you the 411...
Lock and Load, i think it may be best to start considering other quail. From what i've heard is that you're giving this girl your all and see doesn't seem to care - until your with another woman.

As I think Rob or James mentioned, she expects so much from you (ignoring her nemesis) but ditches you to hit up another party - what the &#$#@?
At least with us guys, we're simple. We know what we want and we go for it. I wouldn't expect some chick to hate some guy i had a beef with and then leave her alone while I took off and the 'while letting her think what's wrong with this guy? I lived with three tri delts one year and could not understood what the hell they were thinking at times.
Oh and
BillyMac , some times all a guy needs is a good beating.
If anyone ever figures out the female mind it will definitely be one of us, and we'll all get loaded off the revenues.