Justamom, it was harder for me to watch my daughter rush than for me to go through. My feeling when a group would cut her was, "How dare you? She's beautiful, has a 4.0, all these top-grade activities--what's WRONG with you?" (Actually, my child was pretty cool about it herself.) And my own mother was afraid for me to rush because she'd grown up on the U. of Arkansas campus and seen girls leaving school for good in tears during rush. Then I even got upset when fabulous girls from our hometown were cut left and right during rush at UGa and Tech. The girls said the sororities made it so obvious that they already knew who they wanted during rush and all but ignored them during parties.
I don't know what the answer is. It isn't letting everybody into any group they want because the locals at the college where I teach do that and it has always been disastrous (can't wait until they nationalize). You get lots of really wild girls in your group and your rep is destroyed. Furthermore, it kills the smaller groups. So does having really huge quotas, which may be why the huge-quota schools are unable to get any more sororities to succeed on campus. Everyone wants the biggies who are already established.
I just don't know what the answer is.
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