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No one can treat you badly without your consent.
I think it is easy to blame your FSIL for being evil and all of that, but the bigger responsibility lies with your brother. Is he aware that you are not on the "invite" for the rehersal dinner? (and BTW, I agree with everyone who has said that the bride to be and her parents cannot tell your family who they can and cannot invite--unless of course, you guys let them. See opening statement) What was his response to you not being invited to be in the wedding?
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