CHURCH Pet Peeves

1) Why must I turn to my neighbor?

2) Why do I have to repeat after you? It's your sermon.

3) Why did y'alls Deacons count the Love Offering and tell the church they could do better?

4) Why does your church have an ATM in the vestibule?

5) Why does the choir have new robes and the church's adopted family only got a turkey on Thanksgiving?

6) Why is the Usher grittin on me because I tried to open the door?

7) Why can't Sistuh Mabel get some new mints? The ones she got in her pocketbook been in there since the old building was turned into a daycare. Wrapper all stuck to the candy.

8) Why don't that little ole lady shout "hard" when she got a new hat and new clothes on?

9) Why that girl always acting shocked when they call her to do the song she always does?

10) Why do lil kids always wanna stretch out and put their feet on you?

11) Why does that one Deacon that always sweats hop around talkin bout, "YES SUH"

12) Why White Politicians only wanna visit during an election year and we always shout em out? Did he give a love offering? Cuz he gonna leave before benediction.