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Aspartame's been around since 1981 and over 200 studies have claimed that it is safe to use. I think there was maybe one study that proved otherwise, and that was a badly carried out research project with a focus group that was far too small. Granted there's still the off-chance that some horrible side effect could pop up in the next few years, but it's unlikely given its record so far.
Some people worry about artificial sweeteners because studies have shown that one fake sweetener (saccharine, which is the same stuff as Sweet 'n' Lo) has been linked to cancer and they just assume that all artificial sweeteners are the same. But saccharine isn't the stuff that's in diet soda, and aspartame hasn't been linked to cancer.
Granted water is still better and nobody should drink too much diet soda (too much comes out to more than one or two a day depending on how old the kid is) but any well-qualified nutritionist recommends diet soda over regular. Let's say you drink two sodas a day -- if you replace those with diet sodas, you've cut out enough cals to lose roughly 35 pounds in a year. And let's face it, at this point obesity is a much bigger issue for kids than the possible but unlikely health risks of aspartame.
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