Put Your Offensive or Sick Joke Here (not for the faint hearted)

[GMUBunny]

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE
ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
( because their balls fall over their butts and
they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail
parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final
copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT
DOWN?
(don't know...... it never happened)

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

*For anyone who knows anything about medical insurance providers, this should hit home pretty well...*

Questions about HMOs

Q. What does HMO stand for?

A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go
back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered
that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.
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Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor
I want?

A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your
insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan.
These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who are no longer
accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer
participating in the plan.

But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and
accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and
has a diploma from a Third World Country.
==============================================
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

A. No. Only those you need.
==============================================
Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
==============================================
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
==============================================
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What
should I do?

A. Poke yourself in the eye.
==============================================
Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

A. You really shouldn't do that.
==============================================
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?

A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $15
Co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it.