Quote:
Originally posted by christiangirl
*I'm putting this in a separate reply b/c this isn't something I've seen in this thread, it's something else I want to discuss. I'm really upset about something that happened a few days ago and need to vent.*
I also think that people assume that most Christians are putting themselves on a pedastal, but really they are the ones who put us there. Isn't assuming that I am judgemental passing a judgement on me? I have heard countless times that people didn't tell me they're having sex b/c "you'd just judge me for it." I don't get invited out with my friends, because since I don't drink, they "just know you'll be in our faces about drinking." Just because I'm God's child doesn't make me Jesus. Christians (especially virgins) are HUMAN--I'm in college, if I had a dime for every time I've wanted to do something I shouldn't, I could pay off my student loans. I think when people are disappointed in their own behavior, they assume others are as well (especially those who supposedly live by a higher standard) and end up lashing out at that person for having feelings when they never did. They protect themselves from what they think my reaction will be. And I resent that people's faith in my impartialness suffers because they feel bad about what they did. If I'm your friend, then I'll love you no matter what you did. A judgement and an opinion are 2 different things. I may not like what you did and believe you need to turn from it, but I'm not gonna beat you over the head with a Bible, and if you think I am, then don't try to punish me before I get even get that far. I hate having to find out that all my friends went out without me or that I missed out on some great girl talks because they assumed I'd react a certain way and tried to keep me from doing something that I'd have never done in the first place. This isn't always, but it happens too much for me not to be annoyed.
I know I didn't get around to the thread topic, but I needed that one. I'll post something that actually makes sense later, thanx for the air space.
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You know it's funny. I have a really close friend who is pretty religious. She just got married but she had saved herself for her husband, etc etc. There was a time where I felt like we didn't have anything in common. This wasn't because I felt bad about anything I was doing, it was because I knew she hadn't experienced what i was going through so I felt like it would be weird to talk with her about it. It's sort of leveled itself out now because I've grown up and she has too, but for awhile there it was definitely weird so I understand what you're saying.
However, I do think that you're missing something that may be causing the problem with your friends because i think this was the root of the problem with my friend. You said that you "think when people are disappointed in their own behavior, they assume others are as well (especially those who supposedly live by a higher standard) and end up lashing out at that person for having feelings when they never did". One thing I've noticed about people who consider themselves religious is that they assume people will feel bad about certain behaviors, having sex for example. Like it's some big dark secret. The thing that people don't realize is that people have different views of what is morally acceptable. Just because you think premarital sex is wrong doesn't mean that everyone does, nor does it mean that people feel bad about it. If your friends tell you about having sex with someone, any reaction by you suggesting that you think they feel bad about what they did-or should feel bad about it-is the exact reason they don't tell you about sex anymore. I hope that makes sense.
Just my two cents...
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