Friendship Help

STL_Lady · #1 02-01-2005, 09:38 PM

hello everyone. Hope everyone is having a blessed evening. But the question that I need advice about is........How to make friends?

I know making friends is something you should learn in like kindergarten. But my situation is like this: I have had the same 4 bestfriends since elementary school. We are still bestfriends till this day even though we all do not attend the same school. But whenever a school breaks occurs we always get together and it is like old times. I also have like 4 good friends that I have acquired in college. I don't know how these friendships occured and I don't question them. I believe my friends are my friends because God intended them to be. I am not a mean person, I am actually one of the nicest people you could meet.But I am kind of shy so that may be making me seem unapproachable.

To make a long story short, can you all give me tips on how to make friends?

treblk · #2 02-01-2005, 10:48 PM

Just be yourself and give them the opportunity to know you and vice versa. Find out what kinds of common interests you all have and build upon that. Good friendship comes from years of going through trials and tribulations. Give it time. Sometimes friends are only meant to be with you for a short period of time.

Dionysus · #3 02-01-2005, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by STL_Lady
To make a long story short, can you all give me tips on how to make friends?

Move out of St. Louis.

Very interesting I was just thinking of starting a similar thread...but in my case dropping dead beat loser friends and making new ones.

Cee Cee · #4 02-01-2005, 11:18 PM

I have always been told that in order to have friends, you have to show yourself friendly. Now, with you being a shy, this may be abit of a struggle for you. However, it's not impossible! I truly believe that some friendships are formed only for a season. Perhaps to help you through a difficult time, or celebrate a joyous occasion. Remember that you don't have to see or talk to someone everyday for them to be a good friend and, some people that you do see and talk to daily are not your friends. Allow yourself to meet new people and trust your instincts. A good friend will always have your best interest at heart.

Toujours_Jolie · #5 02-02-2005, 12:13 AM

Forming solid friendships is similar to falling in love: sometimes it's an instant click between two individuals, but more often it is the steady cultivation of a mutual connection. Also, again similar to romantic unions, finding a good friend is not something that can be forced; it usually happens when you least expect it (and sometimes with someone you wouldn't have imagined). Good luck with your future friendships. For now, consider yourself blessed to have at least four friendships that have survived mud pies to mud masks (that in itself is a good indication that people are inclined to form meaningful and lasting connections with you).

sooooserious · #6 02-02-2005, 01:22 PM

I am so glad to see this. I was thinking the same thing. I have one friend that I have treasured through the years, but often envy women who have what seems to be a truck of load of friends. I know that I have baggage from my early years in terms of trusting people, but I want to have a circle of friends also. Does it get easier or should I just be happy with the one I have?

CrimsonTide4 · #7 02-02-2005, 01:37 PM

Not sure if you all are in college or out of college but places to make friends or meet new people to develop friendships:

Book clubs/book signings/poetry readings
church
community service projects

Do you all feel comfortable going to places alone?

btb87 · #8 02-02-2005, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sooooserious
I am so glad to see this. I was thinking the same thing. I have one friend that I have treasured through the years, but often envy women who have what seems to be a truck of load of friends. I know that I have baggage from my early years in terms of trusting people, but I want to have a circle of friends also. Does it get easier or should I just be happy with the one I have?

Honey, many times you don't NEED a truckload of friends! There's nothing wrong with making friends, but you'll find out that everybody that you THINK is your friend really isn't. Not only that, sometimes relationships change with time. You may drift apart, and nothing could be wrong within the relationship. But things and circumstances change, and so do people.

I have probably about 4 really good female friends that I can share anything with, and a couple of good male friends that I talk with on a pretty regular basis; but each one of these friendships is on a different level. Even within my circle of friends, I feel that I can share 1 thing with one of them, but probably wouldn't share the same thing with another.

So yes, you can make other friends, but don't cast aside your treasured friend that you now have. You may find that later that she may be the only one that is a TRUE BLUE friend.

CrimsonTide4 · #9 02-02-2005, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by btb87
Honey, many times you don't NEED a truckload of friends! There's nothing wrong with making friends, but you'll find out that everybody that you THINK is your friend really isn't. Not only that, sometimes relationships change with time. You may drift apart, and nothing could be wrong within the relationship. But things and circumstances change, and so do people.

I have probably about 4 really good female friends that I can share anything with, and a couple of good male friends that I talk with on a pretty regular basis; but each one of these friendships is on a different level. Even within my circle of friends, I feel that I can share 1 thing with one of them, but probably wouldn't share the same thing with another.

So yes, you can make other friends, but don't cast aside your treasured friend that you now have. You may find that later that she may be the only one that is a TRUE BLUE friend.

Ditto!!

ladygreek · #10 02-02-2005, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by STL_Lady
hello everyone. Hope everyone is having a blessed evening. But the question that I need advice about is........How to make friends?

I know making friends is something you should learn in like kindergarten. But my situation is like this: I have had the same 4 bestfriends since elementary school. We are still bestfriends till this day even though we all do not attend the same school. But whenever a school breaks occurs we always get together and it is like old times. I also have like 4 good friends that I have acquired in college. I don't know how these friendships occured and I don't question them. I believe my friends are my friends because God intended them to be. I am not a mean person, I am actually one of the nicest people you could meet.But I am kind of shy so that may be making me seem unapproachable.

To make a long story short, can you all give me tips on how to make friends?

You seem to have the magic formula already. You are truly blessed to have the number that you do. Remember aquaintances are many, true friends are few.

ladygreek · #11 02-02-2005, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
Move out of St. Louis.

Ditto

j/k

Ideal08 · #12 02-02-2005, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ladygreek
You are truly blessed to have the number that you do. Remember aquaintances are many, true friends are few.

So true. When I was a little girl, my mother told me, "If you have only one friend in this world, you are truly blessed."

Why do you feel like you need to make new friends? You have 4 at home and 4 at school. I think that's a bit of alright.

AKA_Monet · #13 02-02-2005, 09:33 PM

Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold...

In order to make friends, you have to be a friend...

A friend in need is a friend indeed...

A friend is someone who you dare to be yourself...

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man or woman lay down his or her life for his or her friends.
John 15:13

Sweetheart, I have many acquaintances and very few friends... But I treasure the friends that I have because I take my commitment to them seriously. I would rather lay down my life for my just one good friend than to blow it away with those that would rampage meaninglessly through my trudgery of my semblances in of my life...

But that is just me... You are bright eyed and bushy tailed. So don't let my cynicism get the best of you...

sooooserious · #14 02-03-2005, 08:39 AM

Thank you ladies for all your input.

STL_Lady · #15 02-03-2005, 05:03 PM

I want to thank everyone for all of your suggestions and comments. The comments about leave STL made me laugh so hard.

But that is my home so I can't leave just yet. And I do love all of my friends with all of my heart. I was kind of the only child, I had brothers and sisters but I was the only kid in the house, and to me they were the closest things to sisters I have ever known. My friends are apart of my family, just like I am apart of theirs.

I have lots of other people that I converse with off and on, but I know they are not my friends. I don't even want a truck load of friends. Because I know a lot of the girls at my college are shady and they will stab you in the back as soon as you let them. There is a bigger reason why I began this thread but I would prefer to PM someone about it. Preferably someone in a sorority that is older than me, I am 20. So if anyone is available please let me know.

I am also so happy that I started this thread because I can see I helped others who have the same problem as me. Thanks everyone.