Oh wise ones of GC... i need advice

CUGreekgirl · #1 01-18-2005, 06:40 PM

If you need to you can catch up on the thread here: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...threadid=60443

but anyway, the newest drama in my life...

This Sunday night Caleb shows up at our college group thing at my church. He only came once last semester (before I started going), so I thought hmmm, maybe he came to see me and get to know me. Well he got there late so he didn't get to sit by me and was all the way across the room. One of my friends asked him if he wanted to go out to dinner afterwards (i hadn't been invited) and he asked "well,does stormy want to go" (i didn't know this at the time) so she asked me what I was doing but I had to babysit. When my friend and I both got home she IMed me and said that they had talked about me at dinner. He really likes the way I look and all that, but he wants to get to know me first before we go out on a date. He suggested that me, him, the friend, and another friend go out one night this week. Well, my friend shot that idea down b/c she said her and the other girl would end up talking the entire time and he and i wouldn't get a chance to know each other.
She said that he knows I have his number, and he wouldn't be surprised if I call him. The friend also said that Caleb and I could most likely end up dating if I'd just make the call. but that is where the dilemma lies. I HATE talking on the phone and to top it off i'm a rather shy person until I get to know someone. I know most guys don't really enjoy talking on the phone. Whats the maximum of time I should talk before I make up some lame excuse about why I have to get off the phone. Also guys, what are some things you like to talk to girls about (so i can get an idea of what questions to ask him). As interesting as is it I don't want to end up talking about college majors/classes/etc. the entire time.

I could use some encouragement to actually pick up the phone and call... just thinkin about it makes me wanna puke thats how nervous i am.

Rudey · #2 01-18-2005, 06:46 PM

I find your number of sexual partners to be alarming!

-Rudey
--Even if you don't contract an STD, you may end up with roast beef syndrome.

KSig RC · #3 01-18-2005, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rudey
I find your number of sexual partners to be alarming!

-Rudey
--Even if you don't contract an STD, you may end up with roast beef syndrome.

i'm not concerned by your exponentially growing magic number, but i'm an accepting guy - drink up!

Rudey · #4 01-18-2005, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KSig RC

i'm not concerned by your exponentially growing magic number, but i'm an accepting guy - drink up!

The edges on the beef aren't all twisted and burnt looking. Plus there is always the danger of toothpick in a toilet bowl syndrome. You can be built like John Holmes and never find the end to the tunnel - and shizzle.

-Rudey

CUGreekgirl · #5 01-18-2005, 06:59 PM

Quote:

I find your number of sexual partners to be alarming!

3 is an alarming number!?! Besides I didn't say anything about sex in this post. IF Caleb and I do go out we won't be having sex until we've dated awhile.

Rudey · #6 01-18-2005, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CUGreekgirl
3 is an alarming number!?! Besides I didn't say anything about sex in this post. IF Caleb and I do go out we won't be having sex until we've dated awhile.

Will your wedding dress be red? You may not be able to wear white.

-Rudey

AKA_Monet · #7 01-18-2005, 08:02 PM

I can be "real" with you or I can sugar coat it for you--but the sugar coating would be a total lie...

FCUK IT--

I'll tell you the truth...

Caleb dude has found out that you put out... And he wants some... He's ready to lose his "virginity"--with you... But you all are not going to be dating. All you all will do is have a lot of sex...

And like I said to you in the last post with some other guy your played yourself with...

If you are going to screw around, just do it right. And protect yourself at all times...

OtterXO · #8 01-18-2005, 08:44 PM

Okay, I remember the story with this guy and I think that the only thing you can do is call him, hang out with him and see what happens. Don't listen to what your friends say he said, or what anyone on here says he's probably thinking. Get some cojones and call the boy. The worst thing that can happen is that you won't be dating him, but you aren't dating him now so you're really no worse off than if you did nothing. Give it a shot and see what happens

CUGreekgirl · #9 01-18-2005, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Caleb dude has found out that you put out... And he wants some... He's ready to lose his "virginity"--with you... But you all are not going to be dating. All you all will do is have a lot of sex...

I WOULD think this was true, but honestly not that many people (other than GC ppl) know I put out (actually only Jason and Random guy, neither of which remotely even know Caleb). Plus, one of my friends 'dated' Caleb last year and tried to sleep with him and he wouldn't (i have heard this story from several people and the friend... the friend told me about this before she knew i liked him).

Quote:

Will your wedding dress be red? You may not be able to wear white.

Unlike other girls on GC I'm not even close to beginning to plan the wedding.

James · #10 01-18-2005, 10:48 PM

It seems unfair to have put out in the first few hours you met a boy you didn't like romantically but will make Caleb wait for some time if you start dating him.

Quote:

IF Caleb and I do go out we won't be having sex until we've dated awhile.

What kind of really screwed up message does that send? Isn't that game playing?

jillybean · #11 01-18-2005, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CUGreekgirl
he asked "well,does stormy want to go" (i didn't know this at the time)

I think the real question here is -- what kind of name is Stormy?

I'm just kidding. Seriously though, i think the more you prepare and cram about things to talk about on a date, the more idiotic and rehearsed you sound. Be natural, let the converation come. If youre super nervous about making a bad impression, state upfront that you are terrible at small talk, or something of the like.

HBADPi · #12 01-18-2005, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jillybean
I think the real question here is -- what kind of name is Stormy?

Haha you know after my initial reaction of oh not again my second thought was the same thing.

My question is why do you want to go out with this guy? You guys have a different belief system so how far do you think this relationship (if it happened) would go?

Also I have a hard time believing that you have no problem pouring your entire life story out on GC but not many people in your life know about your sexcapades.

AGDee · #13 01-19-2005, 12:32 AM

If you can't talk to a particular person pretty easily right off the bat, that probably isn't the person for you. Coaching on topics to discuss isn't a good idea. Conversation with someone you get along with well will just flow. If it doesn't, then it's a good clue that the person isn't a good fit for you.

Dee

Peaches-n-Cream · #14 01-19-2005, 01:21 AM

Stormy: Hi Caleb. It's Stormy. How are you?
Caleb: Hi Stormy. I'm ok. How are you?
Stormy: OK. So do you want to get together this weekend?

Done and Done!

jess_pom · #15 01-19-2005, 10:10 AM

Up until recently I had never called the guy first before, but I'm glad I did. Even in the "relationship" doesn't end up working out, I've still taken a giant step and never have to do that for the first time again. I say rip the bandaid off and call him. As others said, the worst that can happen is rejection, and though we're all afraid of that, you don't have much invested, so go for it. Otherwise you may miss out. I know it's cliche-ish but oh well.

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Just be yourself. Make up an exit excuse when you feel like you're running out of stuff to say. Go with the flow. Leave him wanting more! Good luck!