why in the name of all that is reasonable.....

smiley21 · #1 01-09-2005, 09:01 AM

will he not stop calling me?

i broke up with my BF last October. it was final after over 3 years together. i needed to be on my own and not have the stressful responsibility of being in a relationship. well i am doing just peachy being single. over Christmas break, he called me three times in one week. in all of the calls, he said "i love you baby and i miss having you around"
i do not ever want to go back to him, but i am sure that he thinks that he can change my mind or something.

during our past breakups, i would always call him within a few weeks and pratically beg him to come back. well it has been almost three months and i have never called him. he has been doing all the calling. there have been other calls outside of the week i was just talking about. sometimes i just do not know what to do. i like it when he calls every once in awhile, cause i do miss hearing his voice. but it is weird when the calls become frequent and he is telling me that he loves and misses me. i could change my number, cause there is another guy that keeps calling lately that i am ignoring. but i have had my cell number for like 5 years so everyone i know has that number.

it is going to drive me insane!

trojangal · #2 01-09-2005, 09:11 AM

Hang tough sweetie.

If the guy hasn't taken the hint, just try to ignore him. This is so hard especially since you all have been together for so long. I hope that he'll get the message after a few weeks of you doing this.

Sending you strength and courage!

axidhawkeye · #3 01-09-2005, 12:20 PM

you could always try blocking those numbers, i think some cell phones have that ability, but i'd check with the dealer for your provider. or you could do my personal favorite, screen calls.

but anyway, good luck!

DGqueen17 · #4 01-09-2005, 02:48 PM

When he calls, answer and then act totally uninterested. While he's talking start talking to someone else or laugh at the TV. Then say "What? Hey I have to go bye" and hang up. Or sigh really loud and be like did you need something? I've found that most guys won't call back if you act like that.

smiley21 · #5 01-09-2005, 02:52 PM

i dont know if he would fall for that. knowing him, he would still call. if i did not answer, he would leave messages.

oh and he has already asked me to dinner. he says it would be just as friends. but we have way too much history. one of the main reasons we have gotten back together in the past, has to do with these 'just as friends' dinners.

nostick4u · #6 01-09-2005, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DGqueen17
When he calls, answer and then act totally uninterested. While he's talking start talking to someone else or laugh at the TV. Then say "What? Hey I have to go bye" and hang up. Or sigh really loud and be like did you need something? I've found that most guys won't call back if you act like that.

Aww man, you're giving away girl secrets. Now guys will know what we're up to when we're not interested! I guess it's a good thing so they won't call a billion times, and maybe get a hint every once in a while!

sugar and spice · #7 01-09-2005, 03:02 PM

Okay -- this isn't that tough. You have a cell phone. You can tell when he's calling. Don't pick up.

Eventually he'll get the hint or you'll have to block his number. But you're not giving him a huge reason to think his calls are unwelcome if you're still answering every time he calls you.

smiley21 · #8 01-09-2005, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
Okay -- this isn't that tough. You have a cell phone. You can tell when he's calling. Don't pick up.

Eventually he'll get the hint or you'll have to block his number. But you're not giving him a huge reason to think his calls are unwelcome if you're still answering every time he calls you.

ok i think i just covered that. if i do not answer, he leaves messages so he is not getting the hint.

damasa · #9 01-09-2005, 03:27 PM

If it's a big enough deal you'll change your number.

If it's too much of a hassle to change your number (assuming you can't have his number blocked), it's not a big enough deal.

smiley21 · #10 01-09-2005, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by damasa
If it's a big enough deal you'll change your number.

If it's too much of a hassle to change your number (assuming you can't have his number blocked), it's not a big enough deal.

it is a big deal. but changing my number is still a hassle and expensive

valkyrie · #11 01-09-2005, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by smiley21
ok i think i just covered that. if i do not answer, he leaves messages so he is not getting the hint.

He can leave messages every day for the rest of his life. So what? You can delete them without listening and not call him back, ever. If he keeps calling even though you don't call him back, he's pretty much admitting that he's a big fat hairy loser, so who cares?

If you're going to talk to him, you can't really post here and complain about it, you know? I don't want to sound harsh, but the way to solve your problem is to stop talking to him, and that's easy. By saying that he's going to leave a message and using that as an excuse to talk to him, you're really not trying to get away from him. Have you ever told him NOT to call you any more? Try that, and don't answer another call from him.

smiley21 · #12 01-09-2005, 03:54 PM

i said that i do not mind getting calls from him now and then to see how each other is doing. that is fine. but it seems like he is trying to turn the calls into something more. i turned him down on the dinner invitation. he knows where i stand.

cashmoney · #13 01-09-2005, 04:30 PM

I think you still want to be with him deep down...it's just right now you don't realize it. If you truely are done with him then you wouldnt answer the phone or ever talk to him again. If you dont answer the phone or talk to him at all...eventually he'll stop calling. He's just playing the card of "Oh, if I can talk to her I can convince her" and you have to look at what he's doing as just that. Being in a relationship for 3 years isnt something you let go of easily nor quickly. Sometimes I still talk to my ex I dated for a loooong time. She'll hit me up on IM but as far as phone calls...we havent spoke in over a yr. She called me when LSU played Florida and she was in Gainesville for the weekend....but I didnt answer her call. Nothing good would have come out of me answering that phone and you need to start looking at his phone calls the same way....that is, of course, if you're truely done with him.

Craig

smiley21 · #14 01-09-2005, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cashmoney
I think you still want to be with him deep down...it's just right now you don't realize it. If you truely are done with him then you wouldnt answer the phone or ever talk to him again. If you dont answer the phone or talk to him at all...eventually he'll stop calling. He's just playing the card of "Oh, if I can talk to her I can convince her" and you have to look at what he's doing as just that. Being in a relationship for 3 years isnt something you let go of easily nor quickly. Sometimes I still talk to my ex I dated for a loooong time. She'll hit me up on IM but as far as phone calls...we havent spoke in over a yr. She called me when LSU played Florida and she was in Gainesville for the weekend....but I didnt answer her call. Nothing good would have come out of me answering that phone and you need to start looking at his phone calls the same way....that is, of course, if you're truely done with him.

Craig

i am done with him. i do not want to see him ever. man, i am just going to get my number change and just endure the hassle that goes along with that.

but then there is my home number....

AOII_LB93 · #15 01-09-2005, 06:03 PM

Have you ever just considered saying, "Don't call me, ever."? By accepting his calls you are giving him a smidge of hope. I have enough guy friends and know enough guys to know that if there is even a slight chance, they will go for it. If he doesn't get it after you tell him to stop calling you, THEN change your number.

When are people, both women and men, going to start being honest with people and just say, "Hey, don't call. I'm not interested in you and you are wasting your time and mine,"? It may be cruel or mean or rude or bitchy, but it's better than having to deal with phone calls you don't want.

E.T.A. Ladies(and Gents for that matter), if you really don't want the person to call, tell them. Don't beat around the bush. It saves both of you a mess of time and trouble.