being reprimanded for being too thin/skinny

[gammazetagrl]

im pretty sure im not the only girl with this problem but lately it has been happening too often.

i am naturally skinny, i am a mere 5'2" and less than a hundred pounds. i am one of those people that eat whatever they want and never worry about their weight. in fact, i think i eat a whole lot (plus 3 servings of ice cream to last me through a whole movie) for my size.

anyway i've had the problem of having people come up to me (especially at work) and ask me if was "okay"...or some would comment like how it looks like i haven't been eating. people think i have an eating disorder! it totally bugs me and though i feel genuinely bad for those who do, why do people have to stereotype those slender people w/ normal eating habits as well?

and this happens when im wearing a non figure flattering blockbuster shirt and khakis. one time on my day off (and i had nothing better to do), i got a call from work if i could come in because someone called in sick. i was doing laundry that day so i told them i didn't have a uniform. and in "sorority pants" and a cute baby tee i got even MORE of these stupid ass comments.

any ideas for how should i deal, or maybe even good comebacks?

[gphi2k]

Being told you're too skinny is no less rude and insulting than being called fat. I'd love to know where people get off thinking they can just approach you and ask if you're ill. Gee, thanks. I look like a sick anorexic. Thanks for mentioning it. Idiots .

I'd just be the better person and say 'I'm naturally able to shove a large pizza in my face, followed by 5 scoops of icecream smothered in yummy whipped cream, and not gain an ounce. Guess I'm just lucky that way! . Why? Are you jealous?'.

Some people are so insensative it amazes me . My friend has a medical condition (not sure exactly what it is) but she has an overactive metabolism and she has to eat a ton of food just to keep up with it. She's very skinny and very sensative about it. I've been with her when people tell her that she's too skinny, and ask if she's okay. I felt so badly for her. She is self consious enough about the way she looks. People pointing out her skinniness doesn't help. I honestly want to just tell them to mind their own business!

[This message has been edited by gphi2k (edited July 03, 2001).]

[SSS1365]

I'm not really sure of any good comebacks, but I can definitely relate. I'm 5'6" and I weigh 118... so I don't get any comments like that anymore. I'm still pretty thin, and I'm also one of those people that can eat anything and not gain weight. But not too long ago, I was 5'6" and between 105 and 110. I got those comments all the time, that I was too skinny and looked anorexic. My parents were the worst. Since I live near my college, my dad even threatened to make me live at home if I didn't start eating more! I can't help it if I have a high metabolism! Oh well... my only advice on how to deal is to just try to ignore them. YOU know you're healthy, and that's all that matters.

[This message has been edited by SSS1365 (edited July 03, 2001).]

[ZTAngel]

My mother was very thin when she was little and I ended with her metabolism. Growing up, I had the nickname of "sticks" in my elementary school classrooms. (bc my legs looked like sticks) I had comments all the time from people asking me if I was sick or if I was anorexic (some people have NO class). And friends who knew that I was naturally this way would constantly make comments like, "oh my God...I wish I was like you." I wanted to be like, "no...you really don't." In all honesty, I think growing up and being very skinny is just as hard as being a fat kid. In fact, people are more inclined to tell it to your face that you need to gain weight; people know better than to tell an overweight person that they need to lose weight. In high school, I was 5'7 and 98 pounds. By the time I got to college, I put on a little over 20 pounds in two years. It was a little growth spurt. My mom had that happen to her at that age as well. I finally don't have to hear people say to me, "don't you eat anything?" It's nice to be at a normal weight. And at 5'7 and 120 pounds, I enjoy being able to eat whatever I want, never have to exercise, and still not gain a pound. And, an extra bonus, my mother had two children and still has the same body she did back when she was in college. Any time some girl my age would kindly remind me of how sickly I look , I would just think to myself "yeah...I would love to see you after you have two kids..." So, to anyone out there that has ever teased a skinny girl, here's a couple of girls who were scrawny when little and now look great:
Tyra Banks, Rene Russo, and much much more. So, to all you teasers out there:

[This message has been edited by ZTAngel (edited July 03, 2001).]

Originally posted by gphi2k:
Being told you're too skinny is no less rude and insulting than being called fat. I'd love to know where people get off thinking they can just approach you and ask if you're ill. Gee, thanks. I look like a sick anorexic. Thanks for mentioning it. Idiots

Thank you! I've been saying that my whole life. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks that telling someone they are too skinny is incredibly rude! Like gammazeta, I'm 5'2 and I weigh 92. I haven't gained any weight since high school (I'm 2 years out of college) and I eat like a pig. I'm perfectly healthy, but still people tell me I need to eat. I just want to say "How would you feel if I said 'You are a little chunky. You need to stop eating.'" Or if they see me eat they think I'll just throw it up later. It's gotten really bad for me since the whole Calista Flockhart anorexia rumors started. Apparently, according to some people I look a little like her, so people don't have a problem saying to me "Eat Ally!"

[This message has been edited by Wine&Blue (edited July 03, 2001).]

[Dianne]

How true all of this is! Since I was in 7th grade I have been dealing with this! When someone says something like that to me, I usually laugh and say, "Yeah, don't you wish your metabolism was on crack like mine?" Seriously, I would never go up to someone who was overweight and say, "Gee, you're way too fat. I think you eat too much." By now, though, it is not so much of a problem. I go to a school that is a little less image oriented, and there are actually a lot of girls that are built like me. My friends and I get a big kick out of it actually, and I have contests with my guy friends on who can eat more chicken wings/blooming onion/whatever! Though, I do hate it when girls say, "I wish I had your body." NO YOU DON'T!! Stores only carry like two pairs of size 1 jeans, most catalogs don't carry extra-small, etc. I have no ass! My butt is so small that all my pants are baggy back there. I can't find a single pair of jeans that fit right! Being thin isn't always a bowl of cherries! (But of course, there are some perks!) Happy snacking y'all!

------------------
"Seek the noblest."
Zeta Love! <3

[CRMSNTiDEGRL717]

I'm a little one too !!!!! I'm 5'4 and 100lbs. I used to get teased SO badly. I only weighed 75lbs. in 8th grade. So people always messed w/ me. I like my size though. I have flat tummy and I can eat TONS & TONS of food!!!!! That's the best plus I think. I think being thin is in my genes though. My mom is 5'6 and 115 lbs. and my daddy is 5'10 and, well, he's not big. When people tell me they wish they had my body or could eat like I do, I never feel like telling them no you don't, it just makes me feel uncomfortable. B/c a lot(some) of girls, think "she must have a problem." Ok, I'm done. Hope that made sense

[This message has been edited by CRMSNTiDEGRL717 (edited July 03, 2001).]

[gammazetagrl]

Thanks for your words of wisdom girls. I guess there's really nothing we can do about those ignorant, JEALOUS and rude people out there right? Next time this happens I will just refuse to let it get me down.

Yeah, being skinny has its perks and downsides. Like Dianne said, stores don't carry a lot of small sizes, and a lot of catalogs dont have XS. You know how there's like a catalog and a magazine (i think it's Mode)for plus size women? Well, not everyone has the perfect 36-24-34 figure shown in Cosmo or even Seventeen, so I think they should have a magazine for skinny girls like us as well. But NO, they can't coz it will be like it's promoting eating disorders.

I hated shopping for formal dresses in high school. Nothing nothing ever fit me. All the pretty ones were for "normal sized" girls. It was weird, the dress would either be too long, too big on the bust or too big in the hips or something. Finally I had to have two of my dresses custom made because I totally scoured the racks in every damn store (and no time to order online). For homecoming my senior year my mom took me to this Chinese seamstress who specializes in those Chinese dresses and bought one. My junior prom dress came from the pre teens department of JC Penney, it had the All That Jazz brand (no Niki Livas for me!)and cost a mere 75$. It was plainer than what I wanted, but hey, whatcha gonna do?

Pass the M&Ms bowl, please!

[greeklawgirl]

At the risk of sounding very trite, but when people scold me about being too thin, I give them my biggest smile and tell them, "Good things come in small packages."

When people insist on saying things to others about being too heavy or thin, it almost always has more to do with their OWN self-image than anything else. Ladies, go about your business with your heads held high...You don't need to explain yourself to anyone!

[sigmagrrl]

My wish for all of the women in the world is this: that we will stop judging each other based on our appearance. I am not in your shoes regarding the too small, I've always been on the other side of the spectrum. I know how painful it is to have anyone make ANY comment regarding your size and shape, when really, you just want to be accepted for who you are at that moment. Women, we are very guilty of bashing each other's self-esteem in with the harshest comments and criticism. Why do we feel better about ourselves after we judge another person's appearance? You SHOULD feel the opposite. I am very guilty of comparing myself to other women and then proceeding to put myself down if I don't measure up. So, in essence, I am guilty of again diminishing my self-worth based on appearance alone. We all complain that we are tired of being judged on how we look, but maybe we should look closer to home to see where and how these judgements manifest themselves and infiltrate into our psyches...The next time you see a woman and you immediately judge her based on appearance, STOP, and think or wonder about what her laugh sounds like or what kind of music she may like. It sounds stupid, but the way we treat each other is worse. The more we stop using the excuse of "I cannot help but judge people based on appearance b/c it's what I see first", the sooner the self healing can begin and we can start to appreciate each other for ALL of the things we are capable of, not just the ability to look pretty! We ALL need to stop looking at people with this damaged view of beauty that society has imposed on us!

[This message has been edited by sigmagrrl (edited July 03, 2001).]

[HeidiHo]

I used to be in your shoes, ladies. All of my life I was super thin & where it says "5'9 115 lbs" on my driver's license it was the truth. I even had a gym teacher call my parents & ask if I was ill. I complained about how people would say "you're too skinny" and never realized how dependent I was on hearing that.
When I started college I began extreme yo-yo dieting in reaction to the stress. Knowing what I know now, I probably had an eating disorder. I lost weight I didn't really have, then realized the problem & resumed my regular eating habbits. My body reacted by storing every calorie I ate in case I stopped eating again. Two year later I am an average weight, about 135 & still 5'9. I hate more than anything being a normal size. I used t complain about being the skinny girl, but I became dependent on that niche. I think it boils down to you're never happy with what you've got & you never realize what you had until it's gone. Twiggy girls- don't get traped in the skinny girl mentality, you'll wonder why you ever complained about it when/if you gain some weight. Sorry for the long post
Heidi

[newbie]

Sigmagrrl, what a GREAT, GREAT post.

OK, well I'm skinny, too, but not really skinny that others ask me if I'm anorexic, etc. I'm 5"3' and 106 pounds. Ppl just tell me, "Gosh, I wish I looked like you" or "Damn how come you eat so much but you're so thin"?

Thing is, I wish I had more pounds on me. I like being thin, I'll admit, b/c I can eat anything I want without worrying. But sometimes it gets annoying when ppl keep on saying "Man you're so skinny - how do you do it?". I don't do it - geez, I was just born with a fast metabolism!

On the other hand, I have a friend who is 4"11' and 80 pounds. Ppl always ask her how old she is, always assuming she is either 10 years old or 12 years old - NEWS FLASH: she is 17!!!!! She always gets asked about her health and about anorexia/bulimia, etc. Luckily, it doesn't seem to get to her, but sometimes she tells me how annyoing some ppl can be.

You guys, I find lifting weights for the arms REALLy help. Also, I just started going to the YMCA, where I do everything from swimming to aerobics to tai chi. It's doing wonders for me! I feel realy strong and also - I think I'm starting to put on some pounds of muscle !

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 04, 2001).]