Joel's 2004 Election Night Drinking Game
(compiled from various sources on the internet)
3 part game (
Taking Shots, Drinking Beer, and a
Finale)
Red States/Blue States
Before play begins, each player takes a blank electoral college map and marks who they think will win each state. Whenever a state is called, each map is checked. Each player who called the state wrong takes a shot.
The same rules can also be used for Senate races, though predictions here should be limited to just those races that are in contention.
Drink:- Everytime Dan Rather uses a bizarre folksy saying.
- If you hear the phrases "battle state" or "swing state"
- If you hear "Mistake" "Error" or "Miscalculation"
Chug a beer IF:
- The percentage of votes for a marginalized party (Reform, Libertarian, Constitution, Green, et al.) or Ralph Nader equals or exceeds the margin by which the winning candidate won a state.
- Announcement that any state has changed from what a network originally projected.
Have a Mamosa with tylenol then go to sleep when it's all over and done.
Note that if the election is too close to call or mired in legal controversy, you must continue to drink! It's not over until freedom prevails, so you might want to stock up with enough alcohol to last until January 20.
Optional pieces of the game:
* If Pete Coors wins his Senate contest in Colorado, shotgun a Coors Light.
* Whenever Nader appears on screen complaining about not getting on the ballot in a state, take a giant bong hit and chill out, ya damn hippie.
* Special for Fox News viewers: whenever Fox calls a state prematurely for Bush, crush a beer can against your sloping Neanderthal forehead. No, an empty can, you moron!
Linear Mode
