Successful AIs: Do you feel you "missed out"?

[lake]

This post is intended for those individuals who have successfully been initiated into a sorority/women's fraternity as an alum. I'm not *exactly* sure what I'm asking, but I'm interested in any input or comments you may have.

I've been actively pursuing AI again recently. As I've been ramping up my efforts lately, I pulled out my old "rush" materials from when I went through almost fifteen (!) years ago. Long story short, the org I'm pursuing now - XYZ - is one of the orgs I attended Preference Night at before I decided to drop out of rush for personal reasons.

Anyway, those materials, which I hadn't looked at in YEARS, brought all these memories flooding back to me about how all through that rush week I knew I wanted to be an XYZ. Then immediately I felt a rush of regret, kicking myself for dropping out of rush in the first place (I was basically worried it might be too difficult to juggle such a big commitment with other commitments - my Rho Chis repeatedly stressed how this decision was "for a lifetime" - which was kind of intimidating to me at the time).

I often wonder how different my life would've been had I not dropped out of rush, the people I would've met, the experiences I would've had, the sisterhood I could've shared.

Do any of you feel that you "missed out" on a big part of sisterhood by not having the college experience?

[Sistermadly]

Do I feel like I missed out? Yes. But I was talking to another alumna initiate (well, soon-to-be intiate) at an A Phi event this afternoon, and we said that based on our personalities, we feel that we're better matched with the kinds of events that happen on the alum end of things than the kinds of things that happen as a collegiate member.

My experience as an alumna initiate won't compare to the experiences that collegiates share, but in my eyes they shouldn't compare, because they're completely separate. My alumna experience has been very rich, and I've been made a better person by it. It's not better, nor is it worse - it's just different, and I'm okay with that.

[Tom Earp]

What has been amazing about this Thread and site, is the input and learning about AI.

Yes it is not an undergraduate Associating experience, there have been so many Women Who Have Found a way to experience Being with a Greek Social Organization

In many ways, it is a lot harder and more soul searching for the attachment to do and become involved in something that when finding it makes it all worth while for The Individual.

All I can say is Congratulations To All of the AIs and what they are not contributing to Their GLOs!

We as GLOs and They as Interested People are a great fit.

[MelodyCat]

I'd love to have had the collegiate experience, I won't lie.

But I don't feel like I missed out on sisterhood in the slightest - my alum chapter has some wonderful women who have made me feel like I've been a sister for years. And I agree with my sister Sismadly - at this point in life, I'm not up for the same things the collegiate experience offers. I'm very happy as an alum.

[tinydancer]

Originally posted by MelodyCat
I'd love to have had the collegiate experience, I won't lie.

But I don't feel like I missed out on sisterhood in the slightest - my alum chapter has some wonderful women who have made me feel like I've been a sister for years. And I agree with my sister Sismadly - at this point in life, I'm not up for the same things the collegiate experience offers. I'm very happy as an alum.

I couldn't have said it better!

[Jill1228]

What she and SisMadly said! Sure I would have loved to have the collegiate experience. But I gotta admit I am loving thangs as an alumnae.

Sure I have a bond with many of the collegiates but I had one of the best times last night after the Founder's Day event. Hanging with the Alumnae sisters! I haven't laughed that much in ages. Had a wonderful time and we need to do it more often!

Originally posted by MelodyCat
I'd love to have had the collegiate experience, I won't lie.

But I don't feel like I missed out on sisterhood in the slightest - my alum chapter has some wonderful women who have made me feel like I've been a sister for years. And I agree with my sister Sismadly - at this point in life, I'm not up for the same things the collegiate experience offers. I'm very happy as an alum.

[preciousjeni]

Even though Theta Nu Xi does things a little differently, I'll offer some words. I was NEVER completely comfortable with NPCs nor NPHCs in college, not because I didn't like the members (not that at all!) but because the focus and general atmosphere didn't really appeal to me once I got into it - by into it, of course I mean only to an extent. I loved the experience of rushing during Formal NPC recruitment as well as attending an informational for the NPHC I considered pursuing. But, it all just wasn't me. I wonder how I would have felt had Theta Nu Xi been on my campus.

As it stands now, I feel competent enough to handle sorority life and old/mature enough to enjoy a more sophisticated Sisterhood experience. I was never interested in joining a GLO for letters!! (Though I do rock 'em hard)

I know I made the right choice!

Originally posted by Jill1228
What she and SisMadly said! Sure I would have loved to have the collegiate experience. But I gotta admit I am loving thangs as an alumnae.

Sure I have a bond with many of the collegiates but I had one of the best times last night after the Founder's Day event. Hanging with the Alumnae sisters! I haven't laughed that much in ages. Had a wonderful time and we need to do it more often!

I will agree with my sisters ... sure i would of love to exp Alpha Phi as a colliegate but i am glad i am an alum. I say that because i know how i was in college and i didnt really have time for anything else but school.

I can exp what i always wanted to do now without the stress of grades and school pressures.

I just wish the chapters here, alumnae c hapters, were a bit more active and sister bonding ... i know i miss that greatly. I come here and get bonding from my sisters.

I need to go hang out with sistermadly and jill1228

[tcsparky]

I can see that there is a difference between the collegiate experience that my girls are having, and the alumnae experience I am having.

I will never have the experience of going into the dining hall and being greeted by a group of sisters. I will never ride the homecoming float and cheer on the fraternity with the crazy moving parts. I won't be pinned by a fraternity man and be serenaded in the Quad.

But I am experiencing Sisterhood. I do work hard to make ceremonies special. I take part in candlelights, I see the glow in the faces of the PNMs at Preference. I feel that rush of affection when the New Members run over to us on Bid Day. I cry during Initiation, and feel teary during the Symphony. I get excited about new event t-shirts, and take an hour to pick out fabric for a new letter shirt at the Greek store.

I have pride in being an Alpha Xi.

I agree that as nice as it would have been, I probably would not have been well suited to sorority life on my campus. And, I would never have been able to be an Alpha Xi. The more I learn about AXiD, the more I know that this was the absolute right choice for me.

I am extremely busy as an Alumna, being a Chapter Advisor, a member of the local Alumnae Association, attending National Convention, serving on a National Support Team as a specialist, and attending colonization for a nearby colony. I am having experiences that go beyond pride in wearing letters across campus on the way to class (although I do that when I go to their campus for stuff!!).

And the types of events in which I am involved as an alumna are more suited to my personality than a lot of the events in which collegiates participate.

Yes, I missed out on some stuff.
No, I don't think I "missed out" in any significant way.

I hope this made sense.

[Tom Earp]

Tresa, it certainly made a True That point!

A positive view such as yours is always a welcome sight and can give insight to so many New AIs and PNAIs.

[lake]

Thanks so much to everyone who responded, especially Sistermadly, MelodyCat, preciousjeni, and tcsparky. Your comments really struck a chord with me and put things into perspective. I have really been thinking about them over the past couple days, especially the comments about being better matched as alums to the different kinds of events, and about meeting new sisters who make you feel as if you've been a sister for years. That's exactly the kind of experiences I believe will "make up for" my current regret about not joining the GLO in college that's still speaking to my heart now!! I know it will all seem worthwhile if the day ever comes when I become a member of my chosen group, XYZ. The sisterhood experience will be so much richer and more meaningful to me.

Thanks again!

[Leandra-TX]

Originally posted by lake
Thanks so much to everyone who responded, especially Sistermadly, MelodyCat, preciousjeni, and tcsparky. Your comments really struck a chord with me and put things into perspective. I have really been thinking about them over the past couple days, especially the comments about being better matched as alums to the different kinds of events, and about meeting new sisters who make you feel as if you've been a sister for years. That's exactly the kind of experiences I believe will "make up for" my current regret about not joining the GLO in college that's still speaking to my heart now!! I know it will all seem worthwhile if the day ever comes when I become a member of my chosen group, XYZ. The sisterhood experience will be so much richer and more meaningful to me.

Thanks again!

I am not a successful AI (yet...), but looking back on my college days, I realize that I did not find a good match with the sororities that had chapters at my school. It is only recently, after meeting some wonderful women of a sorority that I had never heard of at my campus that I am considering what I may have missed and that, hopefully, the door may not yet be closed.

- Leandra -

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by Leandra-TX
I have am not a successful AI (yet...)

Just as an FYI-many AI women on this board worked for years to become sorority women. The word "yet" may be considered presumptuous to some of them.

Please direct your attention to the "AI more dfficult than rushing?" thread for some insight on this topic.

[Leandra-TX]

Originally posted by JocelynC
Just as an FYI-many AI women on this board worked for years to become sorority women. The word "yet" may be considered presumptuous to some of them.

Please direct your attention to the "AI more dfficult than rushing?" thread for some insight on this topic.

JocelynC -

I apologize if I have given any offense. I did not intend for my "yet..." to be presumptuous, just hopeful. I have been reading without posting for a while now, and I have read almost every thread in the Alumni Initiation forum. I have read the thread you reference, and I did find it helpful. I've only recently begun posting, because I wanted to speak to the wonderful people here who have given me guidance and inspiration.

I realize that AI is not easy or quick. I am only hopeful.

- Leandra -

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by Leandra-TX
JocelynC -

I apologize if I have given any offense. I did not intend for my "yet..." to be presumptuous, just hopeful. I have been reading without posting for a while now, and I have read almost every thread in the Alumni Initiation forum. I have read the thread you reference, and I did find it helpful. I've only recently begun posting, because I wanted to speak to the wonderful people here who have given me guidance and inspiration.

I realize that AI is not easy or quick. I am only hopeful.

- Leandra -

It's alright dear, happy posting