You Have A Black Mother If......

DoggyStyle82 · #1 05-02-2001, 04:45 PM

1. You've ever been called downstairs from upstairs or to the back of
> the house from the front of the house to get the remote, change the TV
> channel, or fix her a clean glass of ice water.
>
> 2. You've ever been hit with an extension cord, a switch, or the nearest
> shoe.
>
> 3. You've ever had to pick your own switch off the tree and she sent you
> back because the one you picked was too little
>
> 4. You've ever been burned on your ear with a straightening comb.
>
> 5. Your ponytails were so tight you got those little bumps on your head.
>
> 6. The white people in the school office (principal, secretary, etc.)are
> scared of her.
>
> 7. You were scared to go home when you had a bad report card.
>
> 8. Alcohol, peroxide, cocoa butter, and Vaseline were the main items in
> the bathroom cabinet.
>
> 9. You've never been grounded? just! Beaten.
>
> 10. You've ever been pinched for going to sleep in church.
>
> 11. She made you participate in every church activity (choir, Jr. Usher
> board, Easter play, Christmas play, etc.)
>
> 12. She ever came inside and picked you up from a school dance in her
> gown and hair rollers.
>
> 13. When you ask her for something, her response is.....You got a job??
>
> 14. You've ever been beaten for something your sister or brother did
> just because you were around.
>
> 15. She vacuums every day just so the carpet can have lines in it.
>
> 16. You've ever been told to turn off the TV, get off the phone, or sit
> down and be quiet when it's storming outside because
> the Lord was doing His work.
>
> 17. You've ever been hung up on for calling her collect.
>
> 18. Friends, family, and friends of the family try to keep you out of
> trouble because they know your mother and how she is.
>
> 19. You were afraid to call the child abuse hotline.
>
> 20. She has to pray to God, "Lord, please don't let me hurt this
> child!?" before she gives you a whipping.
>
Anybody got a Mom like this? I know that I do.

BlueReign · #2 05-02-2001, 05:32 PM

Too funny!

I am that Mom!

But to add to that, this is my mother:

1. I don't care how tall you get, I will stand on a ladder and knock you down.

2. I'll be on you like white on rice.

3. I'll go through you like a dose of medicine.

4. I'll make hash out of you with no gravy.

5. I brought you into this world and I'll take you out! (I used this one on my son and his reply was "well take me out then". My response? Well I'll just say that he never said that again!)

DoggyStyle82 · #3 05-03-2001, 01:30 PM

My mother was definitely good for sitting in the choir loft and talking about folks like crazy. The funniest thing is how my mom would give you "the look" in church, the store, or when company was over and we knew how to straighten up. I'm still amazed at how my mom had the strength and energy to whip four boys and give the last one as many licks as the first.

#1 Leading Lady · #4 05-03-2001, 04:03 PM

I have a black mom too but I must admit I AM a BLACK MOM TOO

tyshaun · #5 05-03-2001, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DoggyStyle82:
1. You've ever been called downstairs from upstairs or to the back of
> the house from the front of the house to get the remote, change the TV
> channel, or fix her a clean glass of ice water.

DOWNSTAIRS! try down the street.

I only can relate to # 1&4, but i guess thats because my family is haitian. However, ive known about the rest through my next door neighbors.

AKA_Monet · #6 05-03-2001, 11:22 PM

You know your have a Black Mama if...

She'd spit and wipe your legs so they wouldn't look ashy anymore...

She didn't care where she'd whip you, but you dayum sho' got whipped in front of evera body...

There wasn't any food in the house, but found something and made it a gourmet feast!!!

[This message has been edited by AKA_Monet (edited May 03, 2001).]

the411 · #7 05-04-2001, 12:09 AM

Yep-- my Mom is definitely BLACK!!!

------------------
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Pi Kappa, SP97
#3 of QUINTESSENCE

treblk · #8 05-04-2001, 12:55 AM

My mom is very balck
Always tell me it aint nice to talk about folks, but let her see that sista at church that know she aint got no bidness wearing that outfit..looking like someone done stuffed her in there..lawd have mercy..see what yall done started...

------------------
Treblk
MSK94

lil_sunshine · #9 10-24-2001, 06:40 PM

I received this email before and it's still funny to this day!!! My mother has done some of these things and I'd have to say some of them were pretty embarrassing.

novella000 · #10 11-04-2001, 12:45 PM

ROFL, this list brought back some MEMORIES!!!

aprilzeta · #11 11-07-2001, 10:49 PM

1. Your dinner for Friday is always Fish, Cornbread, and Stewed Potaoes.

2. She tells you she will slap the taste out of your mouth.

3. Your friend invited you to a slumber party and she told you the only slumbering you were going to do will be right here in your own bed.(I don't know my mom just didn't play going to other people's house to sleep over).

4. When you were little, you step out of the yard into the street and got one of the worst spankings in your life.

sweet angel · #12 11-13-2001, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aprilzeta
1. Your dinner for Friday is always Fish, Cornbread, and Stewed Potaoes.

2. She tells you she will slap the taste out of your mouth.

3. Your friend invited you to a slumber party and she told you the only slumbering you were going to do will be right here in your own bed.(I don't know my mom just didn't play going to other people's house to sleep over).

4. When you were little, you step out of the yard into the street and got one of the worst spankings in your life.

our mothers must have took the same parenting class or something