People whose parents pay for everything

[winneythepooh7]

OK my last thread got me to thinking about this subject. Now I have been lucky and have had my parents help me out a lot in getting to where I am today, but I am by no means spoiled and they have never bought me a brand new car or anything like that. How do you all feel about this sujbect though? I think it is bad that a lot of people today grow up not knowing what it is like to want things because it makes them appreciate things less in our society. Also in my work I have found that "rich" people can be even more screwed up then the really poor people I work with. I don't personally know too many people that fit this mold, thankfully. Even in undergrad, our sorority was not known to live up to this "stereotype" as I would say the majority of the girls worked 1 and even 2 jobs, and were on a lot of financial aid or scholarships (I also went to a "state" school too in undergrad and not a private school so I am sure that makes a big difference). I guess what I am trying to say is that money is not everything. It is nice and I would love to have more of it but I think you can be happier with "just the basics". Any thoughts? (Please no wise ass or condescending remarks thank you). Also if you "fit the mold of the spoiled rich person" how do you deal with people's sometimes snide remarks or stereotypical thoughts towards you?

[AlphaFrog]

I am spoiled-by myself (ok, and before he died, Grandpa, but that's what Grandpas are for!). I did go to Catholic High School that my parents paid for, but everything else~clothes, shoes, school supplies, shampoo/condtioner, deoderant, spending money for movies, etc... were all up to me as soon as I got a job (which was actually when I was 13, cleaning my mom's office buildeing once a week). When I was a Jr/Sr in high school, I worked hard, lots of hours to spoil myself. Yes, I had alot of stuff/went out all the time, but it was with money I earned.

[PM_Mama00]

My parents have leased me 4 cars in the last 8 years. They pay for my school. I work for my dad. They basically pay for everything except sorority dues, phone bill, and things that I want (going out to eat, stupid shit).

I DO NOT fit the mold of the stuck up rich girl. Yeah I may have bragged just now. When people make snide comments about me being a spoiled brat, I laugh it off. When people make threads like this and make comments saying "but I am by no means spoiled and they have never bought me a brand new car or anything like that" or "Also in my work I have found that "rich" people can be even more screwed up then the really poor people I work with", then I'll brag. It's like if someone started a thread (please don't get any ideas) saying that all pretty girls are dumb and blah blah negativity, if I were pretty I'd post a large picture of myself and say "HA". BTW... I know plenty of families who don't have all that much money and buy their children cars.

This might not make a lot of sense.

If you learn anything from this thread, let it be this. "I think it is bad that a lot of people today grow up not knowing what it is like to want things because it makes them appreciate things less in our society". Just because someone has money, it doesn't mean that they don't know what it's like to want things and appreciate things. I appreciate everything that my parents have done, especially when they try to help my friends out who "want things".

All the "rich" people I know don't fit any of these stereotypes. So should we have our own stereotype?

Stereotype and Stereotyping.... such a sucky thing.

[kappaloo]

I don't care if you're spoilt - just don't act ungrateful or snobbish about it. I have a friend who I'm pretty sure has gotten anything she ever asked for, but she is so down-to-earth and tactful, that the fact she has a lot of stuff paid for is never an issue.

[winneythepooh7]

that's cool that your parents are able to offer to help your friends that need financial help. i would like to be able to do this one day. i am more for doing that that donating money to some charity i don't even know where my $$$ are going to. my school does this with scholarships and i think it is a neat idea.

At first i thought this was going to be a slam by a certain person on these threads , but I have been very blessed and grateful in life along with my brother with what my parents have given and have helped us with. My grandparents also by settling us up financially for our lives and the lives of our children. Yes i have things and been given things most ppl my age are still trying to obtain ,and yes i didn't work hard to obtain those things, but i also believe in helping those who need help and i would give the shirt off my back to someone i knew who needs it.

Some ppl who misinterept things on here(GC) think i am spoiled pampered princess and i am not in any way! I have just been very very blessed with what i was given ...i thank God everyday for what i have! I also thank God for not having a student loan!

I work very hard for what i get in life now. i make a salary like everyone and have a budget of what i can and cannot spend. Yes i would like to go to convention but the cost is outside my means and i think it is more important my child has things he needs before my own needs. My parents use to pay for my utilities and car payments and car insurance and pay for health insurance as well as pay my credit card bills... but i am an adult and i pay for those things now because i was given an education to learn to take care of myself with a good job.

they have given me something i am very proud of and will boast about .....they instilled in me good morals and values and the ideology of don't bite off more than you can chew and dont spend outside your means.

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

My parents... yeah.
My dad and I get into a fight... my mom gives me money.
I really dont care if they give me some support or if I have loans- which is why half the time I've been in school they've paid and the other half I've gotten loans.
I work and pay my bills, I take loans. If they want to help me I wont turn it down but I in no way expect or demand them to help me out.

[MeezDiscreet]

my parents paid every dime of my tuition, are paying for my car, insurance, rent and bills and everything else i need money for (groceries, spending money). they paid my initation fees when i pledged, all associated costs and my dues. they paid for me to go to my sorority's regional conference too. i'm very blessed to have parents who can afford it and i thank God every day for them. i'm not by any means spoiled--just blessed. i'm not working right now and i don't know what i'd do without them.

but just so no one thinks it, i'm not just sitting on my arse spending my parent's money. pretty soon, I'M going to tell them they don't have to anymore. i wish i wasn't in the predicament that i NEED their money because i would love for them to spend it on themselves. but i'm one blessed girl to have my parent's support.

[adpialumcsuc]

I would have in no way ever considered myself spoiled or rich, but my parents did pay for everything. I always had a job and I would use that money for stuff that Mom and Dad wouldn't pay for (like going to the bars, lots of extra clothes, etc). I am greatful everyday for what they have taught me and that they helped me along the way. I also know that when they get older the tables may be turned and I'll need to help them. In fact they are driving from California to Missouri in August and I don't want them driving their car (it is a piece of crap), so my husband and I are renting them a car to take on their 6 week vacation.

[kateshort]

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
I think it is bad that a lot of people today grow up not knowing what it is like to want things because it makes them appreciate things less in our society.

This can cut both ways. There are some people who know what it's like to want things and so decide that there's a better way to get them-- like by theft or by selling drugs to make money.

There are some who are comfortable with where they are, some who have more than they need and decide to spend spend spend, and there are those who don't have what they need. And there are those within each category who feel that they know what it's like to want things. Someone who is middle class might feel that they "need" the best kind of clothes or best car to fit in with their friends.

I'm an only child who has been very lucky. Before my senior year of college, I got a new car since mom's old one was almost dead. The car is 10 years old now. My parents saved for my college with bank savings as well as with mutual funds, which was another blessing. Those paid for my grad school tuition and room and board. The balance, which we rolled over to my custody at age 23, eventually became my and my husband's down payment for our townhouse.

When I got out of school, engaged, I *could not* live with my fiance. So I got a decent apartment, and they paid my rent and car insurance, and I paid for the rest. I had a year of subbing and temping jobs before getting a teacher's aide job, because there were too many candidates for English.

When I landed a library one-year-only position, they paid for grad school. They are paying for my husband's MLIS as well. Interesting fact: you can donate up to $10,000 per year, to someone, tax-free to them. They're both retired, earning pensions, with new jobs that earn them additional salary. They figure we're getting our inheritance early.

My mom also helped out her divorced sister, who was $50,000 in debt, by going 50-50 on the 35% down payment they needed to buy my aunt a townhouse. She's earning equity, and my aunt had lower payments (which mom has actually been paying), allowing my aunt to actually pay off her credit card debts and avoid having to go into bankruptcy.

I learned, and continue to learn, a great deal about money management from my parents. I max out my and my husband's IRAs every year. We pay off our credit cards *every single month*. We donate a decent sum to our church, which we're increasing every year. And we are keeping track of how much my parents have paid for grad school. It kind of keeps us humble.

So how do I deal with this? Very carefully. I don't tell a lot of people that my parents have done so much for me. I get a little aggravated by people who say "you didn't earn it" because I worked hard for my grades to get my scholarships, and I worked hard in school to earn a higher salary for myself. There's a woman at work whose husband lost his job, with two kids in middle and high school, who is on reserve duty. Luckily, their house is paid off. I don't know how I'd handle that. I try not to talk about money in front of her, because I don't want to make her feel any worse off.

We're not yet financially ready to move to a bigger house and start a family, though we're getting close, and that's something that I "want" very much. And I plan on buying a house that's within our means, so that I can have some left over to help our kids get a solid start in the world.

[Rudey]

What? Nobody else got $100,000 on their graduation?

-Rudey
--How about a sugar plantation?

[PM_Mama00]

Originally posted by MeezDiscreet
my parents paid every dime of my tuition, are paying for my car, insurance, rent and bills and everything else i need money for (groceries, spending money). they paid my initation fees when i pledged, all associated costs and my dues. they paid for me to go to my sorority's regional conference too. i'm very blessed to have parents who can afford it and i thank God every day for them. i'm not by any means spoiled--just blessed. i'm not working right now and i don't know what i'd do without them.

but just so no one thinks it, i'm not just sitting on my arse spending my parent's money. pretty soon, I'M going to tell them they don't have to anymore. i wish i wasn't in the predicament that i NEED their money because i would love for them to spend it on themselves. but i'm one blessed girl to have my parent's support.

That's how it is with me too. When I graduate and get a job, I can't wait to be making my own money and to stop using theirs. Then I can show them how responsible I am.

[ADPiShannan]

OK I hate to talk about myself. When I was in HS I was a spoiled bit**. I hung out with the "popular" people, went to all the parties, talked about people, ect, and was someone I later hated.

Now I will say I was spoiled badly. I got the new car in HS, had clothes anytime I wanted something new, had an allowance, and never had a job.

When I came to college I got a reality check. I learned I wasnt the shi* and I needed to change my attitude. I am so glad I did cause I hate who I was in HS and how I acted now that I look back. That being said, in college, my parents paid for my school, insurance, rent, sorority dues, cell phone bill, I even had a credit card that went to them to pay. I did finally get a job which my mom was against so Id have spending money, but I am so glad I did. It taught me some responsibility. I am greatful that they did that for me. I was fortunate to get a very nice trust fund from my dad, but we dont even speak much and after all he did to my mom and me while I grew up, I feel like its the least he could do. He never offered to pay for my private school or even college when I went so its nice to have this money now when I need to buy a home or something.

I am now married and in charge of everything. Ill admit it scared me a ton and worried me a lot when I was to be the adult cause I never realized exactly how much things were. Thankfully I dont have a student loan to pay and I wills tart to pay my car insurance in Aug but my mom sat me down and showed me to budget and such so even if I think the utility bills are huge, I have adjusted well.

I am glad my parents helped me as much as they did and I love that I can ask if I ever need any help and they will, but I feel like its time I do things on my own and hopefully oneday Ill be able to pay them back for all they have done for me. I am very apprecitive of all they did.

[aphibeach]

i'm not afraid to say that i'm spoiled......i drive a new car, my parents support me, and i own my own townhouse.

but there's a difference between being a spoiled brat and just being spoiled. i know and acknowledge that i have parents (who are well off) that spoil me but they do it because they both grew up very poor and they want the best for me and my brother. also, when i was younger, my family didn't have the kind of money we have now and i've seen my parents struggle. i'm appreciative of what my parents give me but i know that this won't last forever. i don't want to depend on them for the rest of my life and they know that too. in a way, my parents live through me and my brother. my parents never went to college....they just didn't have the money to. So when they see me and my younger brother in college and me looking at going to grad school after i graduate, they know that they're doing something right. my parents aren't afraid to put their foot down. i have a part time job so its not like i'm sitting on my ass all day.

i have friends who are in the same boat as me but i also have many friends who aren't as lucky as me and they keep me grounded. what disappoints me is when people judge me because of what my parents do for me because i feel like my parents do this voluntarily.....if they really wanted to, they could have told me i was on my own. now i dont know if i could 100% handle that but i know i would make the best of it.

i respect people who support themselves completely while in school......one of my best friends does that and i have so much respect for her. she's one of the hardest working people i've ever met.

[KillarneyRose]

If my parents could have helped me out financially, they would have. As it was, I knew we didn't have much so I never asked for anything. It wasn't bad or good that I paid my own way through school (with the help of scholarships, grants and loans), that's just the way it was. When my sister (who is 7 years younger than I am) got to college, my parents were able to help her out, and I don't begrudge her that at all.

I can see right now that, as far as my daughters are concerned, I can't always differentiate between what they need and what they want. Or what I want for them. My husband provides us with an incredibly comfortable lifestyle and sometimes I still feel like a kid in a candy store. "I can get this??? Really?? No Kidding???" So I can't really tell if I'm spoiling them or not. As I write this, I'm in Maine staying with friends while my girls are at a sleep-away tennis camp up here. The cost between the two of them is a good bit more than my first year's tuition at Pitt. So, I guess some folks would think that I'm spoiling them. Also, come high school, I don't want them to ever have to choose between being in the class play or keeping their job at Wendy's. Or sweating if the grant is going to come through before the next semester's tuition is due in college.

I do believe, however, that just because you want to make sure your children are well provided for, it doesn't necessarily make them spoiled. My girls are polite and have wonderful manners. They are also compassionate and kind. Much more so than I am, to tell you the truth!

The people who come on here and "admit" to being spoiled by their parents don't really have to explain themselves. Some parents are able to give more than others; that's just life. I've known plenty of good people who had the world handed to them on a silver platter and I've known shiftless bums who had to work their butts off for whatever little they had. It's definitely more about the attitude instilled by the parents than the thickness of their wallet.