Sexist Team Lead

OMG! Last week, either Thursday or Friday, the team lead, two co-workers, and myself started on a conversation about marriage. One of the co-workers is a male (25ish) and engaged, where as the other co-worker is a female (55ish) and married. The team lead and I are the only ones that are single in the group.

I said that there is a low chance of me deciding to get married. If I do, me and my husband will both work, whether kids enter the picture or not. Also, the marriage will be a 2 way street. I will not marry someone who's above washing his own clothes when necessary, etc.

The team lead said that if I was "his" girl (first mistake . . . implied that he owned his significant other), he would tell me to go ahead and defend that case (I'm going to be a lawyer) but while you're at it, wash my boxers! He said as he told me to wash his clothes that he'd be dropping his clothes in my lap to be washed. I was like, "yea, if someone ever did that, his clothes would be picked up along with his other belongings and thrown out the front door as I was saying sianora!"

The other female co-worker in the conversation said to the team lead and other male co-worker (which laughed and said "heck yea!" when the team lead said he'd drop his laundry in my lap) that women were expected to do all the housework in the 1950s, not the new millenium. The team lead said, "Yea, I wish that we could go back to that time." Mind you, the team lead is an African-American. I said, "No you don't. Segregation was still intact, especially in the Southeast. Very little had been done about basic civil rights for black people. Just remember that the next time you say something like that." He was speechless when I said that.

I cannot believe that people can get away with saying crude, sexist things! Heck, not that I am for doing this, if I went around saying RACIST things, I'd be fired in a hurry! This is such a disappointment to our culture, the women in this country, and very hypocritical to the basic foundation that everyone was/is created equal.

[Firehouse]

Is that a politically correct way of saying leader? What is objectional about 'leader'? I like 'commander' myself.

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by Firehouse
Is that a politically correct way of saying leader? What is objectional about 'leader'? I like 'commander' myself.

I prefer El Presidente y Generalisimo.

[James]

It sounds like they were just joking and you flipped out. Maybe be less sensitive in the work place?

And if he wants his lady to wash his boxers . . . its his privelage.

If you stay really sensitive you will not be a pleasure to work with . . .

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by ztawinthropgirl
OMG! Last week, either Thursday or Friday, the team lead, two co-workers, and myself started on a conversation about marriage. One of the co-workers is a male (25ish) and engaged, where as the other co-worker is a female (55ish) and married. The team lead and I are the only ones that are single in the group.

I said that there is a low chance of me deciding to get married. If I do, me and my husband will both work, whether kids enter the picture or not. Also, the marriage will be a 2 way street. I will not marry someone who's above washing his own clothes when necessary, etc.

The team lead said that if I was "his" girl (first mistake . . . implied that he owned his significant other), he would tell me to go ahead and defend that case (I'm going to be a lawyer) but while you're at it, wash my boxers! He said as he told me to wash his clothes that he'd be dropping his clothes in my lap to be washed. I was like, "yea, if someone ever did that, his clothes would be picked up along with his other belongings and thrown out the front door as I was saying sianora!"

The other female co-worker in the conversation said to the team lead and other male co-worker (which laughed and said "heck yea!" when the team lead said he'd drop his laundry in my lap) that women were expected to do all the housework in the 1950s, not the new millenium. The team lead said, "Yea, I wish that we could go back to that time." Mind you, the team lead is an African-American. I said, "No you don't. Segregation was still intact, especially in the Southeast. Very little had been done about basic civil rights for black people. Just remember that the next time you say something like that." He was speechless when I said that.

I cannot believe that people can get away with saying crude, sexist things! Heck, not that I am for doing this, if I went around saying RACIST things, I'd be fired in a hurry! This is such a disappointment to our culture, the women in this country, and very hypocritical to the basic foundation that everyone was/is created equal.

You know, he could have that comment...it's his opinion, but when he started bring you into it ("his" girl) that's when it got personal. I understand that different people have different ideas of the way marriage works but to stand there and insult a progressive woman shouldn't be tolerated. And, poo to all you men who are on here acting bad.

[Kevin]

I think you're being oversensative. He was trying to be funny. Have a bit of a sense of humor.

Just remember the phrase: "Everyone is entitled to their own stupid opinion" (it has served me well). If this fella's fiancée is okay with him saying things like that and might even agree that a woman is best suited to certain domestic responsibilities, then fine. That's their life and their values.

It's kind of like when I tell my girlfriend that a woman's place is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I don't really mean it. She knows I don't mean it... so have a bit of a sense of humor and you'll enjoy life more.

[valkyrie]

The guy is an ass, but good for you for standing up to him.

[Optimist Prime]

Originally posted by PhiPsiRuss
I prefer El Presidente y Generalisimo.

I prefer HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR AND LIVING GOD ON EARTH


Hey fellow GreekChaters, how are ya?

He's made other comments like this before and I wasn't the only one that was offended, so to speak. It's not like it was a one time deal for him to say something like that.

Trust me, I have a sense of humor when something is truly funny. When it's not, then, no I am not going to see any humor in any of it. I am up to joking around about things. It breaks the monotony (sp?). He's said "jerky" stuff before about other things and no one found it funny either but his best friend. FYI, the team lead's best friend is the one that is getting married, not the team lead.

I also believe if I went around saying racist things someone would be offended. Then, I said, "aww! I'm just joking around! Stop being so sensitive and lighten up!" I'm sure sh*t would hit the fan. FYI, I am not racist in the slightest bit but it's just the whole issue of the thing. Why is it it's ok to say sexist things when you're supposedly joking around but it's not ok to say racist things when you're joking around? Kind of hypocritical don't you think? I just don't think people stand up for important things anymore. Maybe it's just me.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by ztawinthropgirl
He's made other comments like this before and I wasn't the only one that was offended, so to speak. It's not like it was a one time deal for him to say something like that.

Trust me, I have a sense of humor when something is truly funny. When it's not, then, no I am not going to see any humor in any of it. I am up to joking around about things. It breaks the monotony (sp?). He's said "jerky" stuff before about other things and no one found it funny either but his best friend. FYI, the team lead's best friend is the one that is getting married, not the team lead.

I also believe if I went around saying racist things someone would be offended. Then, I said, "aww! I'm just joking around! Stop being so sensitive and lighten up!" I'm sure sh*t would hit the fan. FYI, I am not racist in the slightest bit but it's just the whole issue of the thing. Why is it it's ok to say sexist things when you're supposedly joking around but it's not ok to say racist things when you're joking around? Kind of hypocritical don't you think? I just don't think people stand up for important things anymore. Maybe it's just me.

Because it's the woman's place to be in the kitchen. That's not sexist, it's natural order. I think it says that in the bible. However, it's not a black person's place to be in the kitchen. You're talking about two separate issues that can't be compared

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by ztawinthropgirl
I also believe if I went around saying racist things someone would be offended. Then, I said, "aww! I'm just joking around! Stop being so sensitive and lighten up!" I'm sure sh*t would hit the fan. FYI, I am not racist in the slightest bit but it's just the whole issue of the thing. Why is it it's ok to say sexist things when you're supposedly joking around but it's not ok to say racist things when you're joking around? Kind of hypocritical don't you think? I just don't think people stand up for important things anymore. Maybe it's just me.

I absolutely agree with you.

It sounds like it's mostly men who say that you're being too sensitive. I don't think you are at all.

Thanks Valkyrie!

Dionysus, never does it say that a woman is supposed to be in the kitchen in the Bible nor is it natural order for that to happen. Read up on the Bible. There were plenty of women in the Bible that were leaders in the communities. I guess one thing has remained the same since Biblical times: if anything is going to get done, give it to a woman. I guess my expection that a man should get up and take responsibility for their own errands and chores is expecting too much. That doesn't mean I am going to lower those expectations either.

I also believe that racism and sexism can be comparable. What if I said and meant that the natural order of things was that all Latinos should not be promoted to higher positions other than janitors or migrant workers or black people should be put back into slavery. I don't mean that but it's just an example of a comparison to the comment that women "belong" in the kitchen.

[Rudey]

Does someone not like the glimmer of the glass ceiling above?

-Rudey
--Awwww

[AOcutiePi4ever]

i think thats terrible. it really makes me mad when men lower women to that level, and think they are so far above us that we should do the dirty work. as for you, rudey, your name fits you so well. quit being an ass and realize that if humans want to get anywhere worth going SEXISM has GOT TO END.

[adpialumcsuc]

Of course I don't think that is something that is appropriate at work.....PERIOD.

BUT I will say that sometimes by husband will crack a joke or two about how a man made a washer and a dryer and women should be thankful because now we don't have to walk to the creek OR he say "Make me dinner woman". But I don't cook dinner every night, he does. I also won't do laundry during the week, because I like to do it all on the weekend, but he does about 1 load a night just to lighten my load for the weekend. I know he is kidding and any one who knows him knows he is kidding, but if someone didn't know they could be offended.

Unfortunately, there are people out there who do believe that woman should be in the "kitchen."