pre-teens and teens having sex

[winneythepooh7]

So I went on a date last nite with a guy who is a health teacher for 7th & 8th grade middle school students in an affluent school district in Long Island, NY. He was telling me that the majority of them are having sex. And wild and crazy sex too. He said the most popular "boy" in the school's claim to fame now is he had sex with 2 girls at one time this past weekend. I knew this stuff went on but to hear all of these stories really kind of freaked me out. I think the world is changing a lot and not for the better. What do you all think about this kind of stuff? It is really scary to me especially because these are not your typical "inner city" or "poor" kids who Americans tend to stereotype as doing these behaviors. The guy told me that he has spoken to the kids about "holding off" until they find someone they truly care about and they can't conceive doing this; that in order to be "accepted" they basically have to have sex. I am so glad I work with adults. I give all of you who are parents so much credit.

[smiley21]

it is HARD to tell 12 year old sexually active kids to wait a while for sex. they have grown numb to the messages that say that it is better to wait. it is 'cool' to have sex at 12. i am grossed out by it. it is sick to think that devolping bodies are exposed to the realities of sex. you would think that it would harm your body if you have sex too early cause your body is not ready for it. i wish kids would learn. cause it is not cool to have sex at 12. it will just make you an easier target for sex later in life by someone that you dont want it from.

[decadence]

Not the worst I've heard on GreekChat.



Do a search on the word 'bracelet', it's in the lettered Greek forums (HBGLO). :shudders:

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by smiley21
you would think that it would harm your body if you have sex too early cause your body is not ready for it.

If I'm not mistaken, many medical researchers believe that there is a link between cervical cancer (or even precancerous lesions) and early sexual activity (defined as "before 15").

At age 12, I seriously was not thinking about sex. I was thinking about making out with boys, and I did a lot of that, but sex was the farthest thing from my mind at that point.

[winneythepooh7]

At age 12, I seriously was not thinking about sex. I was thinking about making out with boys, and I did a lot of that, but sex was the farthest thing from my mind at that point. [/B][/QUOTE]

hey Munchkin. I hear ya. I am so very disturbed by this and maybe I am just naive too especially because I am not really exposed to kids, but this really really bothers me. the health teacher told me that 13 year olds have attempted suicide even because they are not returned feelings from boys in their class. it is very scary stuff out there. i keep thinking about one of my co-workers who has an 11-year-old daughter in a Long Island school district who likes boys already. I am worried for him and her.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
...It is really scary to me especially because these are not your typical "inner city" or "poor" kids who Americans tend to stereotype as doing these behaviors...

I think this comment right here is part of the problem. Too many people are holding on this stereotype that only poor, undeucated teens are the ones who are having sex and they are the ones that are getting pregnant and they are the ones that are geting STIs and that the affluent kids can do no wrong and they won't get into this kind of trouble. We need to move away from these stereotypes and see that kids of all backgrounds are having sex.
Kids get into all sorts of trouble and they really don't udnerstand the consequences of their actions. If the schools aren't going to teach them about safer sex then it's really up to the parents and maybe it's time somebody started educating the arents and tell them how important it is to talk about sex with their teens.

I had a very different experience though. I was taught about safer sex starting in grade 4. In Candada we don't have the abstinence only sex education (actually that's probably taught in the Catholic schools). even during Frosh week we still had sex education. All the freshmen were required to attend a workshop about safer sex.

[winneythepooh7]

[If the schools aren't going to teach them about safer sex then it's really up to the parents and maybe it's time somebody started educating the arents and tell them how important it is to talk about sex with their teens.



Hi, agreed. It is interesting that you mention this because my date said every year the curriculum gets cut more and more about what he can and cannot talk about with the kids because the school is run by a very conservative group of parents who are in denial that their kids do these things. i also agree with what was said about "stereotypes" of inner city and poor children. i know many families that don't have a pot to piss in but their children turn out extremely well and don't have "these kinds of issues". I don't know about other states but in NY state children can also get an abortion without the consent of their parents. I have a friend who worked at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, NY and she said 10 year old girls used to come to the the hospital with their 10-year-old friend to get an abortion. Scary the world today and I don't think it is going to get any better.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
Hi, agreed. It is interesting that you mention this because my date said every year the curriculum gets cut more and more about what he can and cannot talk about with the kids because the school is run by a very conservative group of parents who are in denial that their kids do these things. i also agree with what was said about "stereotypes" of inner city and poor children. i know many families that don't have a pot to piss in but their children turn out extremely well and don't have "these kinds of issues". I don't know about other states but in NY state children can also get an abortion without the consent of their parents. I have a friend who worked at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, NY and she said 10 year old girls used to come to the the hospital with their 10-year-old friend to get an abortion. Scary the world today and I don't think it is going to get any better.

That's really scary. Maybe these young kids she be forced to go trhough some kind of counseling and sex education before and after they have an abortion so that it doesn't happen again. Maybe if the kids are under 16 they have to go through this and if theyr efuse the state will inform their parents. Now that's a scary punishment.

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
That's really scary. Maybe these young kids she be forced to go trhough some kind of counseling and sex education before and after they have an abortion so that it doesn't happen again. Maybe if the kids are under 16 they have to go through this and if theyr efuse the state will inform their parents. Now that's a scary punishment.

They need to stop watching most TV programming and a lot of music videos out now.

Parents need to use the V Chip and adhere to the ratings.

ETA: Remember when Benny hill was risque? Look how far TV takes things now.

[Taualumna]

From what I've heard, middle school aged kids aren't having intercourse in large numbers, but oral (this was from a Globe and Mail article from a while back, which I don't have the link for. I do, however, have the link to a similar article from my high school's newspaper: http://www.thespectrum.ca/issue6comment5.htm) . Part of the problem, I think, is that sex ed doesn't teach much about anything other than intercourse, so kids really aren't all that informed. One sad thing, I think, about Canadian schools and our forms of sex ed is that abstinence isn't really taught at all. I remember nothing about a "stay away from sex" option during frosh week. I confronted my frosh leaders and dons (RAs) about that, and they really weren't able to give me an answer. Maybe it's just another sad fact about liberal values.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Taualumna
From what I've heard, middle school aged kids aren't having intercourse in large numbers, but oral (this was from a Globe and Mail article from a while back, which I don't have the link for. I do, however, have the link to a similar article from my high school's newspaper: http://www.thespectrum.ca/issue6comment5.htm) . Part of the problem, I think, is that sex ed doesn't teach much about anything other than intercourse, so kids really aren't all that informed. One sad thing, I think, about Canadian schools and our forms of sex ed is that abstinence isn't really taught at all. I remember nothing about a "stay away from sex" option during frosh week. I confronted my frosh leaders and dons (RAs) about that, and they really weren't able to give me an answer. Maybe it's just another sad fact about liberal values.

Really? It really all depends on the educators and what their hidden agendas and biases are. I know during frosh week at workshop the line that was reiterated over and over again was "The only safe sex is no sex or solo sex" (complete with spirit fingers )
They made it really clear what was the best way to protect yourself was, but said since you're adults, you'll do what you will, so we're going to teach you to protect yourself if you do choose to have sex.
Ultimately it's up to the individual to decided what they think is "best". I think it's really important to educate everyone thouroughly about EVERY option, so they will be informed when they make their decision.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Really? It really all depends on the educators and what their hidden agendas and biases are. I know during frosh week at workshop the line that was reiterated over and over again was "The only safe sex is no sex or solo sex" (complete with spirit fingers )
They made it really clear what was the best way to protect yourself was, but said since you're adults, you'll do what you will, so we're going to teach you to protect yourself if you do choose to have sex.
Ultimately it's up to the individual to decided what they think is "best". I think it's really important to educate everyone thouroughly about EVERY option, so they will be informed when they make their decision.

But they do teach it in a way that turns some people off from sex. At least it was the agenda at Queen's (well, my floor, anyway).

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Taualumna
But they do teach it in a way that turns some people off from sex. At least it was the agenda at Queen's (well, my floor, anyway).

Well I would Say Queen's is a lot more Conservative than Guelph.

[winneythepooh7]

I don't think the kids are informed in general, or they are getting mixed messages. Also the oral sex thing is really big. My date last night said he is constantly having girls ask him "If I swallow will I get pregnant" or "If I swallow will I get fat". There was a really good Lifetime movie on recently that adressed this subject. It was all middle-upper class "white" teens who were having sex and a lot of ORAL sex. All of the students ended up getting syphillis from oral sex with the "most popular boy" in school. The girls thought that if they just had oral sex they were still technically virgins and saving themselves. Also the movie did a really good job on showing how kids would just have sex to be popular with whoever, and with numerous boys at one time. There weren't really "feelings" towards the boys involved. It also showed the amount of peer pressure placed on kids to have sex and showed the attitude many kids (ie. boys) had that "oh well, if you don't have sex with me someone else will anyway so you don't have to be a popular kid then".

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Well I would Say Queen's is a lot more Conservative than Guelph.

Not when it comes to sex. I would say that it would probably be about the same.