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  #76  
Old 05-25-2004, 01:34 AM
laidbackfella
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Call me a Heathen....

1) Why must I turn to my neighbor?

2) Why do I have to repeat after you? It's your sermon.

3) Why did y'alls Deacons count the Love Offering and tell the church they could do better?

4) Why does your church have an ATM in the vestibule?

5) Why does the choir have new robes and the church's adopted family only got a turkey on Thanksgiving?

6) Why is the Usher grittin on me because I tried to open the door?

7) Why can't Sistuh Mabel get some new mints? The ones she got in her pocketbook been in there since the old building was turned into a daycare. Wrapper all stuck to the candy.

8) Why don't that little ole lady shout "hard" when she got a new hat and new clothes on?

9) Why that girl always acting shocked when they call her to do the song she always does?

10) Why do lil kids always wanna stretch out and put their feet on you?

11) Why does that one Deacon that always sweats hop around talkin bout, "YES SUH"

12) Why White Politicians only wanna visit during an election year and we always shout em out? Did he give a love offering? Cuz he gonna leave before benediction.
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  #77  
Old 05-25-2004, 11:37 AM
Angel11E01 Angel11E01 is offline
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about coming as you are...

I know I'm not the only person who's done this.


Ever get ready for church when you were a kid, and came out wearing some straight garbage. When you momma/daddy called you out about it, you say with the straightest face ever, "But the bible said come as you are!"

then After I picked my face up off the ground....

But it's interesting... I'm Catholic, and was raised Catholic. MY mom was raised baptist and converted to catholicism. So I definitely had influences of not wearing pants to church, although modern catholicism isnt really that strict on dress code...'come as you are'. I've only very recently (like 6 months ago) started wearing pants...and you know what? I still feel really funny about it. and the ONLY reason why I started wearing pants was that I was in a cast and a boot, and felt self-conscious. I'd rather wear a long skirt (or even knee length) than pants.

:sidebar:

is it just me? I love going to spirit filled churches! no matter if the service is 1/2 or two hours, the time just flies by. and it's like you're on cloud nine for the rest of the day.
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  #78  
Old 05-25-2004, 12:40 PM
Gyrl7 Gyrl7 is offline
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Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, why is it that people only come to your church when there is food being served between services.
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  #79  
Old 05-25-2004, 03:34 PM
abaici abaici is offline
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Re: Call me a Heathen....

Quote:
Originally posted by laidbackfella
1) Why must I turn to my neighbor?

I hate that!! Call me a heathen too.
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  #80  
Old 05-25-2004, 04:16 PM
BLUTANG BLUTANG is offline
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It is my pet peeve to the T when you market events to the young adults in the same manner in which you market to the youth and children. I AM NOT 16. You can't "trick" me into coming to a revival or some other event just b/c a go-go band is going to be there or just because you're handing out the little flyers like they do after the club. You know the glossy ones with a million graphics?
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  #81  
Old 05-25-2004, 04:22 PM
Eclipse Eclipse is offline
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Re: Call me a Heathen....

Quote:
Originally posted by laidbackfella
12) Why White Politicians only wanna visit during an election year and we always shout em out? Did he give a love offering? Cuz he gonna leave before benediction.
Let's not discriminate now...it ain't just the white pols that do it, the black ones do it as well.


Something funny did happen at my church one time regarding political visitors. Current Congresswoman and senatorial candidate Denise Majette came to visit the church and my Pastor recognized her and mentioned that most politicians would have left by this time and he was glad to see that she really came to hear the word. A reporter traveling with her wrote in an article that an aid almost had a fit because they had indeed planned to make a hasty exit, and his pronouncement spoiled that. They ended up staying for the entire service. LOL
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  #82  
Old 05-27-2004, 08:04 PM
skywalker20_99 skywalker20_99 is offline
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I've heard of some churches where women wearing dresses aren't allowed to sit to close to the front. If they do, they have to place drapes over their laps.A friend of mine that attends such a church said the rationale is that it would be a distraction(for a women in a skirt to sit in front) to the ministers and deacons who should be focused on the work of God. Has anyone else heard of this?

The discussion about the length of service is really interesting. I've always considered going to church at 10:45 or 1:00 and getting out around 1:15 to be early. When I got to college and started singing in a school gospel choir, I got used to spending anywhere between 4-6 hours in church. I would go to service in the morning, and then we'd visit churches to sing in the evening which lasted for hours!

The thing that ticks me off the most is teenagers that hold full conversations in loud voices. I think it ticks me off even more when nobody says anything (especially when their parent's are sitting right there!) Thats when I have to bring out my other personality and start acting like somebody's mother!

I also have issues with church members who try to control everything in the church. We were having an event recently, and a committee member called to ask church members to bring certain items. However, she took it one step too far and tried to tell folks what brand to buy and what store they needed to get it from!
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  #83  
Old 05-31-2004, 01:03 AM
o2bame o2bame is offline
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Angry Pet peeves

Ok, I had to respond because my Grandfather is a Pastor of a church in Cleveland, and I was one of those people who was in church everyday of the week and all day on Sunday. However, I do have some pet peeves when it comes to church, which is why I am very skeptical of churches. Trust me just because you go to church dont mean a darn thing. But moving on...

1. Church Cliches- (He woke me up this morning and what? (if you can finish this sentence then you know what i mean.)

2. What is a Nurses' Guild?? Can anyone please explain that to me?? None of those women have ever been to school to be a nurse. They are not license to give out any real medicine. All they do is sit in white and fan people when they get happy. Please Im beggin somebody explain what the purpose of this is or what does this mean or something, cause i dont get it???

3. I hate a church that has a different day for each sunday. (i.e deacons day, men's day, women's day, usher day. choir day....u get the point.) First of all everyday should be about GOD especially on Sunday. This is just another excuse to have a long boring evening service and demand a love offering.

4. This is a Cleveland thing..but having literally 13 churches on one block is ridiculous. Some fairly big, but mostly all are storefront and very small churches. My suggestion: All of those little churches combine and make one big church. But thats too much like right.

That's it for now but I'm sure more will come. Oh yeah and if you were out at the club Sat night, please wash the club stamp off your hands before you come to church. THANK YOU!

Also if you choose to speak in tongues please make sure that it is anointed because i heard a lady once say, and i kid you not "OsamaBinLadenAintshit" over and over again. NO LIE!
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  #84  
Old 05-31-2004, 06:46 AM
abaici abaici is offline
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Re: Pet peeves

Quote:
Originally posted by o2bame
2. What is a Nurses' Guild?? Can anyone please explain that to me?? None of those women have ever been to school to be a nurse. They are not license to give out any real medicine. All they do is sit in white and fan people when they get happy. Please Im beggin somebody explain what the purpose of this is or what does this mean or something, cause i dont get it???

Are you serious? My church nurses' are actually nurses.
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  #85  
Old 06-01-2004, 12:20 PM
NUPE4LIFE NUPE4LIFE is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mz Destiny
Sounds like the church I just left....






Definitely is the church I went to growing up, and that the majority of my family still attends. Yes it is a sin, but the one who "got herself in that situation" just got caught. What about all the other hot ones who are lucky they aren't pregnant yet. And anyway, I know they say confession is good for the soul, but it doesn't mean the whole congregation. That's between the person and the Lord. People just want to be nosey! I'm not a member of a church right now, but if I were looking for a church that would be something I could not tolerate.

Last edited by NUPE4LIFE; 06-01-2004 at 03:28 PM.
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  #86  
Old 06-01-2004, 12:24 PM
Eclipse Eclipse is offline
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Re: Re: Pet peeves

Quote:
Originally posted by abaici
Are you serious? My church nurses' are actually nurses.
My current church's nurses are either nurses or have received training in first aid, CPR, etc., but I know what O2bame is talking about. At my Grandmother's church the "nurses" were the ones to take your glasses when you were shouting, put smelling salts under your nose if you fell out and give you those old peppermints LBF was talking about if you started coughing!
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  #87  
Old 06-01-2004, 12:28 PM
FeeFee FeeFee is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by NUPE4LIFE
Definitely is the church I went to growing up, and that the majority of my family still attends. Yes it is a sin, but the one who "got herself in that situation" just got caught. What about all the other hot ones who are lucky they aren't pregnant yet. And anyway, I know they say confession is good for the sould, but it doesn't mean the whole congregation. That's between the person and the Lord. People just want to be nosey! If I'm not a member of a church right now, but if I were looking for a church that would be something I could not tolerate.
Oh I hate when churches do that crap. I remember when that happened to this girl I know.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was waiting for somebody to come to me with that mess. That would've been my last day at my church.
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A VERY SERIOUS MATTER.
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  #88  
Old 06-03-2004, 02:01 PM
Attractive#7 Attractive#7 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by CrimsonTide4

THE FINGER in church: When people get up in the middle service and they point the index finger straight up as a symbol of EXCUSE ME and some women combine it with a TIP TOE. Just leave already.
I was getting ready to say the finger. One of my professors told us where it came from. It's amazing what we still do today.
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  #89  
Old 06-03-2004, 02:04 PM
abaici abaici is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Attractive#7
I was getting ready to say the finger. One of my professors told us where it came from. It's amazing what we still do today.
Where did it come from?
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  #90  
Old 06-03-2004, 07:20 PM
alphaiota alphaiota is offline
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i'd love to know myself. please share the wealth of info.

shelley j
sigma k
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