"We can't be friends"

Zeta3_2000 · #1 07-26-2000, 02:37 PM

The question is: can men and women just be friends?

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Peace and Blessingz,
Zeta3_2000
zka Quiet Storm
#3 SPR 2000
Sex-Z Psi Epsilon Chapter

sneaktip2 · #2 07-26-2000, 03:02 PM

I do believe that men and women can be friends as long as boundaries are set at the beginning of the relationship. If one person starts to develop feelings that are more than friendly toward the other person then they need to sit back and evaluate if the other person would be receptive to a different type of relationship. If the other person is not, then don't do anything otherwise you will mess up a perfectly good friendship.

ZetaAce · #3 07-27-2000, 08:29 AM

Yes! My best friend is a man. He is my rock, and I don't know what I would do without him. I can honestly say I wouldn't be the same CK that I am now. My friendship with him is the same as my friendship's with my women friends and it is very powerful. The only difference is he can be a little overprotective at times, lol, but sometimes that's not a bad thing.

ZetaAce

Zeta3_2000 · #4 07-27-2000, 02:14 PM

Thanks for the responses...here's a little background on the question. My best friend in the entire world is a man. We've been friends for about 7 years now. However, we didn't start out as just friends...he was attracted to me when I was involved with someone else.

A friend of mine pointed out that in any male/female friendship there must be some type of attraction or feelings beyond friendship...though I wanted to disagree, in my case, I couldn't because it was true.

Can men and women "JUST" be friends?

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Peace and Blessingz,
Zeta3_2000
zka Quiet Storm
#3 SPR 2000
Sex-Z Psi Epsilon Chapter

Finer Woman10-A-91 · #5 07-27-2000, 05:20 PM

Age old question...and still I'm not sure I can TRULY answer yes...even though I do have good male friends. However, "closely" (oxymoron) I keep them at a comfortable distance.

Quote:

Originally posted by Zeta3_2000:
Thanks for the responses...here's a little background on the question. My best friend in the entire world is a man. We've been friends for about 7 years now. However, we didn't start out as just friends...he was attracted to me when I was involved with someone else.

A friend of mine pointed out that in any male/female friendship there must be some type of attraction or feelings beyond friendship...though I wanted to disagree, in my case, I couldn't because it was true.

Can men and women "JUST" be friends?

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Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated...Every Finer Woman's Dream!

Shelacious · #6 07-27-2000, 07:36 PM

Probably. But what level of friend becomes critical for me. I am friends with many men where I have no physical attraction, BUT they are not my "best friends, gotta-talk-to-them-everyday" friends. I'm sure that would create a different dynamic for me. With the men I have been close to (talking on the phone a lot, etc.), I noticed that either one or both of us had some level of attraction for the other. We may not ever have acted upon it, but it was there. This, however, is just my personal experience. I'm sure others have different ones.

Asia2000 · #7 07-28-2000, 02:03 AM

I would love to hear a man's HONEST opinion on this.

Fashionista1920 · #8 08-02-2000, 11:44 AM

it depends: if there was once a physical relationship and both have let it go (feelings), sure. I have a very good male friend that i used to be involved with, but we are still very cool.

on the otherhand, i also have this other guy that i was involved with that, i guess, still wants to hook back up. i want to be friends w/ him, but he KEEPS BUGGIN ME ABOUT THE PAST!!!! i had to break it down Barney Style and just tell him that we will NEVER have a physical relationship again (he got someone else pregnant, told my best friends, but lied to me about it, but still found a way to make it seem like it was MY fault).
I would love to be friends with him, but i'm tired of having the same played and pointless conversation.

i said all that to say this: it depends, but it is possible!

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I look DAMN good in red, but I prefer BLUE...Z-PHI!

lil_sunshine · #9 12-12-2001, 07:11 PM

I believe that men and women can be friends. At first, there may be some type of physical attraction between the two, but it sometimes remains platonic b/c neither of them are able to share their feelings to each other.

That's my ray of sunshine for now. Until next time, ladies!!!

zetaphibeta301 · #10 12-12-2001, 10:13 PM

That is a good question. I have had this argument quite often with past boyfriends. I have two very close males friends. However, one I dated in high school(nothing serious) and another once expressed an interest in me(I do not feel the same however). So they try to say that proves the point that an attraction always exists between male and female friends. I disagree because they have both always respected my relationships with other people. They truly are dependable and give great unbiased advice about other guys.

Special1920 · #11 12-13-2001, 01:00 AM

My 2 best friends are male. Been friends over 20 years.
1, I love him, but never been sexually attracted to. The other, although I could be sexually attracted too, and he did hit on me during my divorce, I had enough sense to play it off. We never discussed it again, But I havn't met a male who justed wanted to be my friend since HS.

stillwater15 · #12 12-13-2001, 01:23 AM

i firmly believe that men and women can just be friends. for more than 15 years, two of my best friends have been guys. on several occasions, we've slept in the same bed and spent a ridiculous amount of time w/each other, w/out anything physical happening or even being insinuated. even their girlfriends were cool w/our relationship and y'all know how insecure some women can be about their men. i'm the little sister and they're my brothers. that's it, nothing more.

PrettyKitty · #13 12-13-2001, 12:10 PM

I have many male friends and there is no attraction btwn us. So, yes men and women can be friends.

Royalty · #14 12-13-2001, 03:26 PM

Wow! I've had close male friends and inevitably one of us became attracted to one another. I believe that a woman and a man can be ONLY friends but there's always some underlying attraction on someone's end. We tend to be physically attracted to the opposite sex first and then we get to know them. When I first met "Mike," I was thinking that he's a hottie. But later, I saw the inner beauty. If he weren't outwardly beautiful, we probably wouldn't be friends now.

Just my 1920 cents.

lilZetagirl · #15 12-17-2001, 06:35 PM

i'm merely repeating what many folks have already said, but yes i think that men/women can be friends w/ out any strings attached and/or a sexual attraction. some of my better friends are men that i see as "brothers" and have never had a sexual attraction to, or even the innuendo that the friendship had the potential to develop there.

just my duplicate $19.20