Guys and the Phone...

[OtterXO]

Okay, maybe this is just me being a talkative girl but do guys hate talking on the phone? Why do you call if you don't want to talk to the girl? Would you rather just make the plans and talk then? Just wondering...

(If there is another thread on this I'm sorry-I searched!)

[valkyrie]

Mr. valkyrie claims to hate phones more than anything, but when we first started dating, we would spend hours on the phone.

I think that anyone likes anything if they're really into you, lol.

[PhiPsiRuss]

I usually hate talking on the phone, but I will initiate a phone conversation to get things done.

[James]

Well speaking in generalizations . . so please ladies don't jump and say you are not one of the ten percent this doesn't apply to . . cough . . . ahem . . . Valkyrie . . .

A chatty guy will likely be chatty on the phone . . but still less chatty than a chatty girl.

If I ask a girl a question like: what did you do today, I will often get a stream of consciousness monologue that starts when she wakes and ends with my question.

If you ask a guy the same question, even a chatty guy will give a much abridged answer.

This poses some problems in communication.

In Deborah Tannen's book You Just Don't Undestand she talks about the differences between male and female communication.

Females do raport talking, they talk to bond, share events and experiences. They will often interrupt each other and speak at length.

Males do report talking. We talk to relate tangible events. We tend to speak in turns.

So in some ways when you talk to us, we are waiting to get a word in edgewise. We are less likely to volunteer information. So often not only do you have to ask us questions, but also the right questions.

Also, well . . we . . generally don't care a lot about what you are relating to us. Especially if we consider it trivia. We care about you, but not all the infintessable items of your day.

We just don't bond by hanging on every detail . . . unless your name is ESPN Sports Center. We are not your best girlfriend.

So we call you to check in. To touch base. To hear new and important updates. And to make plans. We start glazing over a little if you start going on to long, although we will listen because we care about you.

Think Football . . we only need the highlights.

Here is a tip: If you really want us to focus all our intention on your trivialties, talk to us naked. I promise we will be riveted. And it will avoid fights.

[Rudey]

No. The highest level of communication I like to have with chicks is grinding them from behind (that way they don't feel like they have to talk) on a crowded dancefloor where it's really loud music that will drown out anything dumb they say.

-Rudey

[OtterXO]

Thanks Rudey that was very helpful...

[OtterXO]

James,
I agree with the fundamental differences in communication procedure for guys and girls, but I'm still wondering-why does the guy keep calling to talk? Is it seriously just to check in? The guy I'm referring to an I aren't even dating at this point so not much has changed since I talked to him the other day!

You know, since you guys speak for all men...!

[mullet81]

hahaha - for me and my boyfriend it is the EXACT OPPOSITE. he loves calling/talking on the phone - i am a HORRIBLE phone person. I hate talking on the phone - i use it to make plans and thats about it. I would much rather talk to people in person. I am a super talkative person when i am in the same physical space as other people. I just pick up so much with body language, facial expressions, hands, and all of that good stuff that i can't get from the phone!

[DigitalAngel126]

I love talking on the phone...depending on who I'm talking to. If it's my man on the other end, eh...It's alright, but I'd rather see him in person. Most of the guys I've been with have hated the phone . . . Except one, we'd go on for hours...

[ZTAMich]

I actually have a cute story about the phone & a guy....

My HS sweetheart (recently my ex) started our relationship talking on the phone. Once a week my parents went out and he'd call or I'd call him that evening and we'd talk for at least an hour about EVERYTHINg & ANYTHING. We saw each other in school but something about the phone brought out the best conversations between us. I think bc we weren't in the same grade the phone gave us a way to talk without people wondering what a senior guy was doing with a freshman gril. 2 months of that and he finally asked me to 'go out' with him...

[Rudey]

Originally posted by mullet81
hahaha - for me and my boyfriend it is the EXACT OPPOSITE. he loves calling/talking on the phone - i am a HORRIBLE phone person. I hate talking on the phone - i use it to make plans and thats about it. I would much rather talk to people in person. I am a super talkative person when i am in the same physical space as other people. I just pick up so much with body language, facial expressions, hands, and all of that good stuff that i can't get from the phone!

I totally agree with you. Plus I feel like when I say "homo say what" on the phone, it doesn't sound as cool. Also I can't say "Wanna play radio?" to the chick which sucks.

-Rudey
--Because you just can't play radio over the phone!

Ugh, I hate talking on the phone! I have to do it all day at work, so by the time I get home, my phone calls consist of "what do you need from the store" and "I'll be there in 10 minutes".

Mr. Ginger, on the other hand, will talk sports and bands and movies and so on to his buddies for an hour at a time. Not me. Just can't do it. If I want to chat, I'll come see you or send an email!

I hate talking on the phone. Even when i was a teen i hated it. I think more so now then anything. i am on it all day and i have kids so i need to have it and use especially my cell.

[angelic1]

Not much of a phone person here either. I cant even talk to most of my girl friends on the phone.

Most of the guys I have dated arent into talking on the phone either. So if I first start dating someone I hate calling them on the phone. I just really have to be around the person when talking to them. Most times when I talk to a guy on the phone its to make plans or just short convos.
Why I think guys will call even if they dont like talking on the phone is bc they know this is how a lot of girls judge whether the guy likes us or not.

[sigtau305]

Originally posted by OtterXO
Okay, maybe this is just me being a talkative girl but do guys hate talking on the phone? Why do you call if you don't want to talk to the girl? Would you rather just make the plans and talk then? Just wondering...

(If there is another thread on this I'm sorry-I searched!)

I'm not much of a talker on the phone unless it's someone important.