Pursuing PNMs in rush - Page 2

33girl · #16 09-17-2003, 10:35 AM

big huge giant gargantuan BUMP.

I think some people are getting way way way too personally invested in this...please go out and buy some new makeup or see a movie or something. I love rush stories too, but not so much that my day will be ruined if people drop off the board.

And not only that, these threads are supposed to be for the PNMs to help them sort out their thoughts and feelings. Not for us to get a voyeuristic thrill.

breathesgelatin · #17 09-17-2003, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
big huge giant gargantuan BUMP.

I think some people are getting way way way too personally invested in this...please go out and buy some new makeup or see a movie or something. I love rush stories too, but not so much that my day will be ruined if people drop off the board.

And not only that, these threads are supposed to be for the PNMs to help them sort out their thoughts and feelings. Not for us to get a voyeuristic thrill.

Right on!

aephi alum · #18 09-17-2003, 12:09 PM

I agree... to a point.

It's perfectly all right, IMO, to get anxious when a PNM's bid day arrives and we don't hear from her. Is she off partying with her new sisters, or crying in her room? Or is she just unable to post because her computer is hosed with the virus of the week?

But when we don't hear from a PNM for a few days after bid day, it's usually safe to assume things didn't work out for whatever reason, and she doesn't want to talk about it. At that point, it's best to just let things go - rather than scouring the lists of new members and the no-bid list looking for someone who might be the PNM.

We have to keep in mind that - although we get vicarious thrills from reading other PNMs' rush stories - the rush threads are really for the PNMs. It's up to them whether they want to name names, share how they ranked the sororities, or even post at all. I thank each and every PNM who has chosen to share her story, and I respect those PNMs who have chosen not to.

sigmadiva · #19 09-17-2003, 01:00 PM

As someone who has been keeping up with the NPC rush results here on GC, out of total curiosity about the whole process, I would agree that one should not post unconfirmed information. It makes the poster look bad because he/she posted the information and the pnm feel bad because he/she did not live up to the expectation of getting a bid.

I think what happens is that the pnm comes on and describes his/her situation (pre-recruitment) and we (the GC thread reader) get caught up in the excitement and the thought of a new member in an org. I've read a few of the individual rush threads and there have been 5-7 pages of well wishes and good luck (as it should be) BEFORE the recruitment process has started. I think that is a set up for high expectations.

Personally, my advice to any pnm of any org (NPHC/MCGLO/NPC/IFC/Local) is to go through the recruitment process and when it is over then describe what happened and all. That way if the pnm going through does not get a bid then we will never know and there will not be any expectation by the thread reader or embarrassment by the pnm.

GPhiBLtColonel · #20 09-17-2003, 02:46 PM

Perhaps we should remove/lock the "Who's rushing in the fall?" thread -- no offense to breathesgelatin cuz I find her thread quite interesting -- as well as any other threads that cause some GCer's to live vicariously thru PNMs. I personally agree with Carnation that her BlazerCheer thread was an example of a thread that some carried too far...you could just tell by some of the posts that some GCer's were WAY too caught up with BlazerCheer's rush...

AXO Alum · #21 09-17-2003, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GPhiBLtColonel
Perhaps we should remove/lock the "Who's rushing in the fall?" thread -- no offense to breathesgelatin cuz I find her thread quite interesting -- as well as any other threads that cause some GCer's to live vicariously thru PNMs. I personally agree with Carnation that her BlazerCheer thread was an example of a thread that some carried too far...you could just tell by some of the posts that some GCer's were WAY too caught up with BlazerCheer's rush...

There are many GC'ers that get WAY too caught up with A LOT of PNM threads!

I personally see nothing wrong with the breathesgelatin thread - its a quick re-cap of what we know to be true. I can log-on, look for an update, and get it in a matter of seconds, rather than having to wade through pages and pages of "Good Luck" along with various chapter letters blazened against a signature. breathesgelatin isn't doing anything wrong with her post. She simply updates the info as it becomes available. She isn't using that thread to solicit personal details from PNM's - she simply made a quick reference guide that I think most of us truly appreciate!

GPhiBLtColonel · #22 09-17-2003, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXO Alum
There are many GC'ers that get WAY too caught up with A LOT of PNM threads!

I personally see nothing wrong with the breathesgelatin thread - its a quick re-cap of what we know to be true. I can log-on, look for an update, and get it in a matter of seconds, rather than having to wade through pages and pages of "Good Luck" along with various chapter letters blazened against a signature. breathesgelatin isn't doing anything wrong with her post. She simply updates the info as it becomes available. She isn't using that thread to solicit personal details from PNM's - she simply made a quick reference guide that I think most of us truly appreciate!

As I said, I like the breathesgelatin thread too and use it as referred to above...so maybe the solution is for no PNM recruitment threads to be posted at all on GC -- just post who's rushing and who pledged where?

Moxie · #23 09-17-2003, 03:14 PM

i don't think the "who's rushing in the fall thread?" is bad. like said, it's just a quick reference list of what the girls have already posted themselves. if they would rather not be included, they can PM breathesgelatin and politely ask to be removed from the list - i know she would gladly oblige.

amycat412 · #24 09-17-2003, 03:17 PM

Yes the who's rushing in the fall thread is a good tool. Many of us do not have the time to wade thru all the Rah Rah you go girl posts in the individual threads to find out what happened.

I totally agree with this issue. When a PNM does not come back, its for her own reasons and seeking out the no bid list from her school and posting what happened to her is, IMO, an invasion of the PNMs privacy. If it was me, and that was done to me, I'd never come back to GC, I'd be so creeped out.

kddani · #25 09-17-2003, 03:18 PM

If a PNM wants to post her story, that's fine.

If the GCers could learn how to handle themselves in a more "controlled" manner, for lack of better word, then we wouldn't have this kind of problem.

Why punish the masses for the overbearingness of a few?

GPhiBLtColonel · #26 09-17-2003, 03:19 PM

You know, I just thought of something else: there is another thread that should probably be checked out to see if the intentions of the posters are above-board vis-a-vis PNMs -- what about that wacky Rush Addicts thread, hmmmm?

SmartBlondeGPhB · #27 09-17-2003, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
If a PNM wants to post her story, that's fine.

If the GCers could learn how to handle themselves in a more "controlled" manner, for lack of better word, then we wouldn't have this kind of problem.

Why punish the masses for the overbearingness of a few?

Amen to all of it.

damasa · #28 09-17-2003, 03:34 PM

Thank you for this post, it was needed and I think everyone that posts in this forum should read it.

I'm fed up with the whole "you'll find somewhere you love" or "you''ll end up where you belong" statements. How do any of us really know? Most, if not all of us have no idea who these people going through rush are. Who are we to say they deserve so and so or that they should be a XYZ? It's almost as if some gcers are pumping these girls up to think they are all kinds of great and when they end up not getting the house they want, or not a single bid at all, not only do they feel crappy about not getting a certain bid, but now they might feel even worse because maybe they don't deserve the things that people on GC told them they did.

As for the "any updates" posts, that just needs to end. If there isn't an update just wait a little bit longer. If you don't get one after a few weeks, well it might be safe to assume the worst

As for someone actually going to research a bid list and posting it? I don't know who did this or what thread it was posted in but I'll ask you this. How would you feel if you didn't receive a bid and someone from an internet chat board decided to research it? How would you feel if they posted about you not getting a bid when all you wanted to do was let it die? Somethings are just better left unknown and that should be out of respect. I can't believe anyone would do that....it's almost sick.

daoine · #29 09-17-2003, 03:50 PM

I think we're all pretty much in agreement -- there are some threads that have gone too far.

But I really hope that this doesn't swing 180 degrees the other way. Locking objective threads, telling people what they can and can not post about their experiences, and dictating what GCers can say in posts really isn't the solution. It's a harsh reaction to a problem that can probably be solved with a little community coercion.

It's all about common sense. There's a huge difference between bumping a buried thread once just to see what's up and stalking a PNM's school to determine what happened. There's a huge difference between hoping that somone gets their top choices of "Strawberry", "Cowboys" and "Bubbles" and saying that you (as an XYZ) really hopes she gets XYZ.

I'm really glad carnation pointed this out, I think everyone has probably contributed to the rush overkill a little bit -- but I think we also need to recognize that GC really is a good place for the PNMs to get a little support from people who *don't* know what's going on; sometimes it's exactly whatcha need.

breathesgelatin · #30 09-17-2003, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moxie
i don't think the "who's rushing in the fall thread?" is bad. like said, it's just a quick reference list of what the girls have already posted themselves. if they would rather not be included, they can PM breathesgelatin and politely ask to be removed from the list - i know she would gladly oblige.

Definately. That's why I have been very careful to use colors to indicate that someone has left GC rather than be at all local about. I also tried to not distinguish between those who did not receive any invitations and those who withdrew or just decided not to rush.

If anyone thinks anything in my thread is rude, let me know and I'll fix it ASAP! I just meant it to be useful to PNMs, GCers, and to promote Panhellenic feeling. I hope it's not stalker-ish!!