Acceting a bid through COB AFTER that group cut you

aabby757 · #1 09-12-2003, 02:10 PM

Am I the only person out there that would have a problem (an ego problem I admit but a problem nonetheless) with accepting a bid from a sorority AFTER they didn't make quota/total and AFTER they had already cut me?

I'm not saying if YOU cut THEM, but if they cut you.

I think I would have a deep seeded memory that they did in fact reject me and only wanted me because they needed members.

I hope I'm not hurting anyones feelings who have received a bid through COB -- I say congratulations! And I know this is probably a bad thought I have but it is still a thought and am wondering if anyone shares it with me.

mullet81 · #2 09-12-2003, 02:14 PM

I would have a harder time accepting a bid from a sorority I CUT. In my opinion, if i cut them once, I'd cut them again and again (its like a cheater, once a cheater always a cheater!)

During formal recruitment the chapters see so many women and have to base their cuts on stupid reasons - they may have liked you - but you may have slipped through the cracks. They bid you - most sororities won't bid a girl they wouldn't want as a sister.

AUDeltaGam · #3 09-12-2003, 02:16 PM

I wouldn't think it's a bad thing. I know with Auburn rush, over 1000 girls go though, and it's easy to get people confused or accidently drop someone.

If the group likes someone enough to give them a COB bid, then that means the group wants that girl to join their sisterhood. It is definitely NOT a pity bid!!

sueali · #4 09-12-2003, 02:22 PM

I have an awesome sister who was dropped by everyone during recruitment including us and we COBed her we couldn't love her more. Sometimes Panhellenic messes up and drops the wrong people or we mistake them for another girl, things happen.

daoine · #5 09-12-2003, 02:24 PM

I disagree entirely, only because there's too many situations that can come up.

Mistakes happen -- too often a girl is invited back to a group, but she's told that she's cut. Typos, bugs, human error, these things all add up. Sometimes the error isn't caught for a few days, if at all. The snap/open bid is a perfect safety net for catching those instances.

In addition, groups that consistently make quota often have to make heavy cuts in some rounds. They may *love* the girl, but she just wasn't in the right place in the listing.

A snap bid or COB is not a pity bid, a desperation bid or a second thought bid. The GLO that gives you a bid is asking you to join because they want you to join, no matter *what* happened before.

pirepresent · #6 09-12-2003, 02:24 PM

If anything, I'd be flattered - if a group cut me for whatever reason during formal, and then gave me a COB after having the opportunity to get to know me on a more personal and informal level, I'd think it was great!!

Formal rush can be so fake sometimes, and one of the big advantages of COB is how much more natural people can be.

aabby757 · #7 09-12-2003, 02:28 PM

Every single comment makes perfect sense to me. I was just putting myself in a COB situation and I don't think I would be strong enough to think as logically as everyone else has.

I really admire everyone having such a positive attitude. Women have really changed in the years since I've been out of school. It's really great to see.

Lil' Hannah · #8 09-12-2003, 02:50 PM

At my school COB is publicly advertised, so if you want to go to a COB event for a house that cut you, more power to you. Now snap bidding is a whole different story, and I think it wouldn't be right for a house to snap someone who they cut. I think it would be much like you said, aabby..."you weren't good enough for us then, but we need you for numbers now!"

honeychile · #9 09-12-2003, 04:35 PM

I remember a rush (yeah, it was that long ago!) when THREE women with the exact same names went through rush! Same initials & everything - it was perfectly awful trying to keep them straight. After Bid Day, a few of us who were on Panhel asked how did each group handle it, how we should have handled it. Turned out that, in each group, either all three of them were cut or all three were invited back!

I tell that because, Recruitment is an inexact science. As I keep saying, a PNM could be the 51st invitation out of 50 allowed. If GreekChat was accessed by each & every PNM, I think there would be a LOT less hard feelings & tears.

In short, yes, someone could be cut, then given a bid through COB with no hard feelings meant. I would hope that the PNMs would realize this, too.

LouisaMay · #10 09-12-2003, 04:53 PM

In many cases, a pnm isn't her best "self" in the hectic, fast-paced environment of formal Rush. Formal is not the best way to get to know some women, like myself. COB is more comfortable for a lot of rushees, so the sororities get to see who a rushee really is. This happened to me, and it made perfect sense!

I'm used to clamming up in big crowds, and formal rush was no different. When I was extended a bid during COB, I felt confident that it was because the sisters got to know the real me.

LM

MTSUGURL · #11 09-12-2003, 09:40 PM

No, I wouldn't be huirt, embarassed, etc. I'd be thrilled - if it was a group that I had really enjoyed. I know there are many reasons that I could have been cut during formal recruitment, and in my 2 favorte groups, I KNOW without a doubt it wasn't because the group didn't just love me - because they did. If it was a group that I cut, I probably wouldn't have gone to the COB events anyway...

honeychile · #12 09-13-2003, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
If it was a group that I cut, I probably wouldn't have gone to the COB events anyway...

Words of wisdom from one of the Newer New Members!

KillarneyRose · #13 09-13-2003, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by honeychile
I remember a rush (yeah, it was that long ago!) when THREE women with the exact same names went through rush! Same initials & everything - it was perfectly awful trying to keep them straight.

Something like that happened to us and to the ladies who lived directly beneath you one year. There were two girls with the same name distinctive first name going through rush and, to make a long story short, we gave a bid to the one THEY wanted and they gave a bid to the one WE wanted and both signed their bid cards! So there were two very surprised sororities come bid day when the new pledges came up to the suites.

They both turned out to be wonderful, active sisters in their respective organizations and I don't think either one of them ever knew that they'd been accidently switched!

SmartBlondeGPhB · #14 09-13-2003, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LouisaMay
In many cases, a pnm isn't her best "self" in the hectic, fast-paced environment of formal Rush. Formal is not the best way to get to know some women, like myself. COB is more comfortable for a lot of rushees, so the sororities get to see who a rushee really is. This happened to me, and it made perfect sense! I'm used to clamming up in big crowds, and formal rush was no different. LM

I would have to agree with this sentiment. I was HORRIBLE at rush, and got cut by 4 of the 7 houses on campus after the first day (and only went to one pref).

FAB*SpiceySpice · #15 09-13-2003, 07:19 AM

I don't know if this is Phi Mu nationally, or just my chapter...I think it's nationally, but either way.... We have a rule that says if we cut someone during formal rush we may never COB them.