I Need Help!!!!!

[serenity_24]

This might be a long post so bare with me

I attend a PWCU (predominately white college or university)where the faculty and students automatically think you (blacks) don't know anything. So, when questions need to be answered, I don't have to worry about anybody coming to me because they already assume I don't have the answer. Well, how about I make the top grades in the class, and am the only one who knows how to work equipment during lab. Well, last week, our professor proposed an extra credit assignment, which was to come up with an original lab experiment that could be justified in our lab reports. These dummies (my lab group) never even thought about doing the extra credit, but when I presented my idea for the credit, they all wanted to jump on the bandwagon. Then, to top it all off, they were telling me that I was doing this wrong and doing that wrong, when they didn't even have a clue as to what I was doing in the first place . I wanted to snap sooooooooooooooo bad, but I just didn't know how to say what I wanted to say without being viewed as the hostile negro.

This is my delima: I need help figuring out a way to SNAP that will be effective and stern; letting people know where to get off without crossing the line.

Help me, Please.

[Poplife]

I know exactly what you feel like because I have had the same experiences.

I hate to say this, but sometimes no matter what you do, if you stand up for yourself many white people will see your as hostile. At let me tell you, an educated black person is downright intimidating to many whites.

Think about what you want to say and then when you see your group tell them. Look the straight in the face while you're speaking and use a good calm but firm tone. No matter how you mad you may get, stay CALM. But don't be afraid to say what you need to say. Don't let them make you into a push over. Remember you are a strong black woman!

If you are calm about it and they still feel offended then quite frankly that's on them. If you did what you wanted to do how you wanted to do it then it's all good.

Peace

[This message has been edited by Poplife (edited December 01, 2000).]

[meeks]

hey everyone long time no type!

SERENITY_24 girl first off i know what you are going through...

I am the only African American/Native American woman in my WHOLE department (Phys Ed). Its cool though for me cause everyone knows my name and I stand out to my Profs.(which in your case could be to your advantage also.)

However, in my elem. ed classes (my minor) some of the Caucasion girls are just too much for me. There have been several instances where i wanted to well.... lets just say it wasn't lady like. It came off as though they thought I was dumb (lack of word), but my greatest joys come in not letting them see me lose control, and busting out those A's. I'm not saying that you should grin and bear it, but just remain who YOU are. You came up with a super idea! You know it and they know it too or else they wouldn't have been jockin you so hard. Don't worry though, those same people who are acting this will be the same people working FOR AND UNDER YOU when you get where you need to be.

and with that i am out of breath,
meeks

------------------
The truly educated never graduate!

[AKA_Monet]

serenity...

I am finishing my research as a Ph.D. in molecular biology and I tell you, it ain't gettin' any better... You are constantly justifying and proving why you are there in the first place!!! I don't know what to tell you other than FIND some mentor, FAST!!! Someone to vent your frustrations to, someone who shares your vitality in your field and someone who can honestly and constructively give you positive feedback. Don't allow them to get you crazy, don't let them tell you that you don't know. If not you, then WHO? If not now, then WHEN?

Given the fact that you are interested in science of some sort, it seems to me that because of your current location, that ultimately you pursuit of scientific degree is one that is often questioned because you are learning the "pinnacle" of european society--their central ideology, their cultural asili (Read Marimba Ani's "Yurugu"--then you'll understand). As people of Afrikan descent, we are not allow to enter into these fields of education... Know their scientific thoughts elucidates how their whole universe unfolds. YOU are not suppose to know this information and especially at a majority institution!!!

I give much LOVE to ya, and never let them eat you away!!! Never lose what you are really all about. Always know that it will be done and put your energies into some kind of higher power if you believe. If you don't then, meditate...

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by Poplife:
At let me tell you, an educated black person is downright intimidating to many whites.

ESPECIALLY THE FEMALES!

[Poplife]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet:
serenity...


As people of Afrikan descent, we are not allow to enter into these fields of education... Know their scientific thoughts elucidates how their whole universe unfolds. YOU are not suppose to know this information and especially at a majority institution!!!

SOOOO TRUE!

[kisses]

No matter what you say or do people are going to see what they chose to see. Unfortunately you can't change that but you can call them on their inappropriate behavior. If you allow people to say what they want without letting them know who youy are and how you expect to be treated they will treat you however. I am the only African American female at my job and sometimes white folks just don't know that they are being offensive. So we must let them know. Always be professional, always be forthright, and always show the pride of your heritage when you speak. But don't be afraid to say what needs to be said!

Just my advice

[Eclipse]

Originally posted by serenity_24:
This might be a long post so bare with me

Then, to top it all off, they were telling me that I was doing this wrong and doing that wrong, when they didn't even have a clue as to what I was doing in the first place . I wanted to snap sooooooooooooooo bad, but I just didn't know how to say what I wanted to say without being viewed as the hostile negro.

This is my delima: I need help figuring out a way to SNAP that will be effective and stern; letting people know where to get off without crossing the line.

Help me, Please.

I certainly feel your pain!! I deal with this type of thing at work on a daily basis. What works for me is to find out where their head is, so to speak. That way, if there are legitimate concerns you get to hear them, but if they are not legitimate they expose themselves for being irrational with out you gettin' out of the box on them! Ask them to explain their reservations in detail and then counteract it with the real deal. Ask them for their suggestions on how you should do it differently (and make them tell you WHY). Of course all of this will be done with a super sweet voice! If you still see that they disrespect you and not the other folks in your group then come right out and say(minus the neck and eye rolling! ) "I noticed that when I do XYZ you do XYZ, but when Suzy does the same thing you nod and agree. Why is that?" Most likely they will deny, but you would have at least put them on notice that you ain't no fool!!

[serenity_24]

Thanks so much ladies for the support. This whole PW thing is just so new to me. I am working on a dual degree, and I did my first 3 years at an HBCU, but for the last part, I had to cross register with the PWCU to complete all the requirements.

If it was any other place, I would have given them all a peice of my mind with a little neck roll to go along with it. But I have to think about the image I will leave behind. I am representing my alma matter, and they already don't want us there. I don't want to make it any harder for the student's coming behind me.

Thanks again for all the encouragement and suggestions.