sex between members

SecretPsiOmega · #1 04-22-2003, 02:33 AM

Our group is currently in the process of writing a behavior law. Those who violate this code can be placed before a judicial board.

It was voiced by a national officer that under no condition should the organization's sweetheart(s) be dating, or be sexually active with any member because large problems have risen from these types of situtations.

In addtion, we have two members who are bi-sexual. Although we are a Jewish based greek organization, these individuals were admitted as members.

However, it is the concenses of the members, is that any sexual behavior between members would also cause large problems and is completely unacceptable. The two bi-sexual members also believe such behavior is completely unacceptable.

However, some members fear that discrimination comes into play here, although we are a faith based organization and can discriminate based on the faith which the organization is founded...What are your thoughts on this situation?

James · #2 04-22-2003, 11:58 AM

Wow lol. Not an easy question.

Be very careful when you try and legislate social behaviors. People are people and will remain that way regardles of the letters you put on them.

If they had a tendency to do what you don't want them to do before they joined, a bylaw won't stop them.

I would leave it alone and not write it because:

1. It makes you as a group "look" discrimanatory and stupid.

2. ITs very hard to investigate and enforce.

3. Because of number 2 it will be differentially applied. Not everyone will get the same treatment which means someone that isn't liked will get screwed. Pardon the pun.

Oh, and what else can the bi-sexual members say? "Hey we should be able to have sex with any members of the chapter we want to?" I can see that going over really well lol.

OrigamiTulip · #3 04-22-2003, 12:00 PM

That is just one of the many reasons that you shouldn't have sweetheart organizations.

IvySpice · #4 04-22-2003, 12:01 PM

I don't believe that a policy forbidding romantic entanglements between members is discriminatory. Many coeducational groups have those policies -- and those that don't often wish they did (anyone who's been in a co-ed musical group knows what I'm talking about!) Wouldn't you want the same policy if your group were co-ed? If so, then the fact that your group happens to be single-sex doesn't make the policy discriminatory. It's just good group management.

Ivy

xok85xo · #5 04-22-2003, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretPsiOmega
In addtion, we have two members who are bi-sexual. Although we are a Jewish based greek organization, these individuals were admitted as members.

uhm, what does the fact that you are a jewish based organization have to do with allowing bisexual and/or homosexual members?

SecretPsiOmega · #6 04-22-2003, 12:52 PM

"faith based organizations" such as fraternities and sororities, as well as the boy scouts can discriminate against people on the basis of their religious beliefs, legally. This has been shown in recent court cases regarding the boy scouts.

LXAAlum · #7 04-22-2003, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Wow lol. Not an easy question.

1. It makes you as a group "look" discrimanatory and stupid.

Especially if you ever are forced into a situation where you have to investigate a possible violation of this "policy". What if one of the members goes public with this information?

While well-intended, this would create a PR black eye that no amount of explaining away could ever heal.

Leave well enough alone.

James · #8 04-22-2003, 01:17 PM

IVySpice. ITs not so much the rule but the application. There are a lot of "nod nod wink wink" situations where everyone knows a romance is going on but since its officially against the rules no brings it up.

Usually it only comes up officially when there is a problem, or a member(s) is disliked or someone wants revenge.

ITs the diffeential application I object to . .. and the fact that it really is just foolish to tell people who they can and cannot be romantically involved with.

Quote:

Originally posted by IvySpice
I don't believe that a policy forbidding romantic entanglements between members is discriminatory. Many coeducational groups have those policies -- and those that don't often wish they did (anyone who's been in a co-ed musical group knows what I'm talking about!) Wouldn't you want the same policy if your group were co-ed? If so, then the fact that your group happens to be single-sex doesn't make the policy discriminatory. It's just good group management.

Ivy

TexasAGD · #9 04-22-2003, 02:08 PM

This link was forwarded to me and I thought it was funny. Just some sterotypes about fraternities and sororities. Enjoy...

http://www.students.bucknell.edu/nroseszu/fratguys.htm
http://www.students.bucknell.edu/nroseszu/sororitygirls.htm

shadokat · #10 04-22-2003, 02:15 PM

I don't know about all fraternities and sororities, but our sorority is non-sectarian, meaning it isn't based upon religion. I'd check hard into your history and such before making a policy. Also, you have to be careful, because when someone feels their civil liberties are violated, they can cause HUGE PR Nightmares.

Lady Pi Phi · #11 04-22-2003, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretPsiOmega
Our group is currently in the process of writing a behavior law. Those who violate this code can be placed before a judicial board.

It was voiced by a national officer that under no condition should the organization's sweetheart(s) be dating, or be sexually active with any member because large problems have risen from these types of situtations.

In addtion, we have two members who are bi-sexual. Although we are a Jewish based greek organization, these individuals were admitted as members.

However, it is the concenses of the members, is that any sexual behavior between members would also cause large problems and is completely unacceptable. The two bi-sexual members also believe such behavior is completely unacceptable.

However, some members fear that discrimination comes into play here, although we are a faith based organization and can discriminate based on the faith which the organization is founded...What are your thoughts on this situation?

A question for you: Is the rest of your chapter and these bi-sexual members concerned that the 2 bisexual members will engage in sexual relations with each other, or is the rest of your chapter concerned that the will try to engage in sexual relations with a heterosexual brother? With the sweethearts, what kind of problems have arising in the past? What kind of problems do you think will happen. Like James said, it is very hard to legislate behaviour. Why is this really necessary?

mrblonde · #12 04-22-2003, 03:14 PM

Ive been dating our current sweetheart since before she received the title in fall of this year. Im not sure how if we were to break up, or if one were to cheat on the other (as if), that would create 'problems'. When people are saying that, do they mean chapter-threatening problems or stupid drama that everyone deals with? Since a sweetheart is an associate member and not a brother or a chair, and its a chapter, not a national title, whats the worst that could happen?

OPAGal · #13 04-22-2003, 03:23 PM

We had a little sister of a fraternity on my campus that was dating a member. Well, she decided to cheat on him with two new members of the fraternity. It caused so much trouble within the fraternity a that both guys were dis-pledged, and she lost her little sister title. It still continues to be a problem today. Now the couple is back together. So now it's like a daily problem at the house. I'm not saying that I'm against little sisters or sweethearts I'm just saying that maybe the girls should be more aware of what trouble their actions can cause.

PSK480 · #14 04-22-2003, 04:01 PM

Both sections are more of a moral and ethical decision of your chapter.

I think the rule about the sweetheart is a little strange. A good number of past sweethearts of my chapter have been girlfriends of brothers. Also in the last two years the only nominees were girlfriends. I can understand certain problems that may occur. But, how can you say one of the girlfriends wouldn't make the best sweetheart you've ever had? You really can't. Not to mention a girlfriend as a sweetheart is usually more likely to come down to the house and do the sweetheart type stuff than a sweetheart who doesn't have any other reason to be there.

About the sex between members that is up to the chapter to decide on as a moral issue. Being a faith-based organization gives you some room to base decisions more on the personal morals and ethics of your religion.

SSS1365 · #15 04-22-2003, 05:01 PM

When I was at school, my chapter had two bisexual members as well. But I seriously doubt they would ever have even wanted to have sexual relations with any of our other members (nor with each other). In fact, one of them was dating a non-greek girl, and when someone suggested inviting her girlfriend to an open house and extending a bid to her, she was very much against it. I think it would be weird to be with someone that way when they are your sister or brother (in the greek sense, of course).