Pregnant Yet Interested: What are your thoughts?

sankofa15 · #1 08-03-2000, 05:57 PM

I just saw this topic in another forum and was curious on your take on the situation.

Discogoddess · #2 08-03-2000, 06:27 PM

If I had my druthers, no, we wouldn't take women who are pregnant during the membership intake period, or for that matter, new mothers, ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY on the undergraduate level. My sorors may have a difference of opinion, though.

DG

AKA2D '91 · #3 08-03-2000, 07:36 PM

An "old school" soror has spoken...

This has been an issue in another forum...There were times historically, that unwed mothers was socially a NO, NO even in sororities...Times have changed and ideals...
but,there are older Sorors who look down on this, ESPECIALLY among our undergrads...

Anyway, back in the day, as an undergrad, someone who had had a baby became a Soror,and one of my LSs had a baby...to each his or her own...

I am sure there will be many responses to my post and Soror DGs.

KittyKat · #4 08-03-2000, 08:50 PM

Speaking not as a member, but as a sisterfriend, I must say that a mother's first duty should be to her child.

Does anyone have examples of someone who successfully pledged while pregnant, and/or had a child while in undergrad?

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Celebrate life, in all its amazing glory!!!

#5 08-03-2000, 08:59 PM

I know a young lady who was pregnant when she submitted undergrad. She kept her pregnancy a secret until the process was over and of course the graduate advisor wasn't too pleased when she heard the news. A few months after she crossed she had to leave school, so she didn't have time to really work with her chapter.

deja · #6 08-04-2000, 12:14 AM

Speaking from an older sorors prospective.......Let's turn this thing around, to avoid hypocracy. Now, should we let none virgins pledge? How many of my sorors here were virgins when they pledged? Pregnancy is an outward sign (no pun intended) of sexual relations. So what we are saying here is, it is okay to have sex and pledge, just as long as you are not pregnant. I would not wish that on anyone, however, does pregancy really make a young lady any less likely to commit to service?

What are we saying exactly? Food for thought. This topic was on my mind this morning.

Deja

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TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN....MUCH IS EXPECTED.

blu_theatrics · #7 08-04-2000, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Let's turn this thing around, to avoid hypocracy. Now, should we let none virgins pledge?
[/B]

Although I know this is an extreme, I think it is very close to the truth.

Yes, I am a mother who "pledged" in an undergrad chapter while I had a child. I maintained my GPA, am now an officer in my chapter, am very active in my chapter and am a good mother to my son.

I feel that I have no reason to ever feel that i have to choose between my organization and my son. I want to enstill in my son the same values of sister(well brother)hood and service to his community and country. I don't want to get to rambling (because you know i can easily

), but I think it depends on the chapter and how supportive they are as to how being a mother and/or wife will influence your process

pinkice9 · #8 08-04-2000, 07:06 AM

I think if the individual is married with or child or if they are single with a child should not matter. That is a form of discrimination. However, pledging whild pregnant, I do not recommend.

There are somethings that may take place while on line that may hinder the rest of the line if one person is pregnant.

Another negative to that situation is when the baby is born; the mother will not have the time to devote to her sorority that she should.

Pinkice

AKAtude · #9 08-04-2000, 08:54 AM

I agree with what Pinkice stated.

Deja, you made me think of something one of my friends from college said. She had a daughter while in high school. She would say that people have sex, and some end up with proof. So, I understand where you are coming from.

I'm not against women with children pledging because my friend did and was a great asset to the sorority she pledged. However, initiation it isn't just about "me" but about "us". I think Pinkice stated that well.

AKA2D '91 · #10 08-04-2000, 09:41 AM

Soror Deja,

I was a virgin!

thatgirl · #11 08-04-2000, 10:02 AM

So much to say.......

1. Why does everyone keep saying 'pledge'? I thought that was a thing of the past.

2. Someone said "ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY in undergrad". Every undergrad is not 19. Would it make a difference if the woman was 25? I do not understand.

3. Do we fail to realize that mothers juggle many things? Why is it such an issue if Sorority participation is added to the fold. I know more parents than I can count that make it their BUSINESS to volunteer and participate in community activities.

4. Which are we more concerned about: our IMAGE or our PEOPLE?

5. If you serve a community in which unwed pregnancy does occur, however it may sadden you, why would you then exclude the very people that you aim to help. You have these young ladies admiring you for taking the time to help them. Would you have them to believe that they are only charity cases, and therefore aren't GOOD enough to have what you have?

Please, help me understand.

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Proverbs 14:7
Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.

Eclipse · #12 08-04-2000, 10:24 AM

I said I was going to stay away from this topic, (those of you who have been posting awhile know my views from a previous thread, no need to rehash them) however let me say this. The members of this, or any sorority have a right, by virtue of their membership, to use whatever standards they choose to select members. Saying that single mothers, pregnant women, folks with one toe, men, etc. would not be extended an invitation is no more discriminatory than saying that you have to have a certain GPA to be considered for membership.

AKAtude · #13 08-04-2000, 11:37 AM

The original question is can a person pledge and be pregnant. The answer is yes. There is no rule prohibiting it. Any other answer is entirely someone's opinion. If someone is pregnant and feel they can do it, then more power to them. My opinion has been stated and its not changing.

AKA2D '91 · #14 08-04-2000, 11:45 AM

Eclipse...
mmmmmmmmmm!!!!

ouch!!!!!!

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited August 04, 2000).]

OOHLALA · #15 08-04-2000, 11:57 AM

If "pledging" has been replaced with a MIP, that should not harm a pregnant woman, then what is the debate? Are we staying these women are not of moral or high ethical standing? Or are we being hypocrites? Many members at the time they underwent their process were far from being untouched. Therefore what message is being sent to interests? Like someone said not all interests are 19, many are seasoned women, who may be single, seperated, divorced or widowed and still have children.