Suicide

[AlphaSigLana]

DO you think it is selfish? What if the person is so miserable that no matter what they do they can't feel better (they're even on antidepressants). Wouldn't it be better for someone to kill themself then to be miserable the rest of their lives and to make other people miserable because they are so depressed and complain about their life all the time?

[The1calledTKE]

Suicide is never right. If the person is that depressed they should go to the hospital for some help. I hope this thread isn't about you..

[MoxieGrrl]

I think it can be a selfish act done for unselfish reasons. In that depressed state of mind, a person does not feel that they are worth very much and just causing grief to people they love. It's the attitude of "I'll spare them anymore heartache" when their death would be the greatest heartache at all.

The scariest thing I have learned about suicide is that it most often happens when a depressed person starts to feel well again.

[AlphaSigLana]

I have tried, but I fail.

[The1calledTKE]

Originally posted by AlphaSigLana
I have tried, but I fail.

Seriously, get some help. You will end up hurting more people if you do it, than if you don't. Life at time might feel like nothing goes right but it gets better if you give it a chance. The depression could be just a cehmical imbalance too which medicine can help correct.

[James]

Generally people that fail at suicide are more interested in showing they have a problem than dying.

So it might be better for most people to seek help way before the need to be so dramatic.

As far as suicide being selfish or whatever. Well I would just say that its a choice. Pure and simple. I wouldn't bothe to try and place too many value judgements on it.

[valkyrie]

I'm not an expert, but I have a few thoughts.

I don't think that anybody can make other people miserable. People who care about you probably don't enjoy hearing you complain about your life, but I really doubt that you're making anyone miserable.

What are your complaints about your life? If we know what the things are that are bothering you, maybe we can provide some suggestions.

You can never know that you would be miserable for the rest of your life. I've had days where I've felt miserable and thought it would last forever. It doesn't.

If the antidepressant you are taking isn't helping, maybe you could try a different one. There are many types of medication, and sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error to find the right one. I hope you are also seeing a therapist -- I don't know that a psychiatrist who prescribes medication is always as good as a therapist who just talks to you. If you haven't tried both, that might be a good idea.

No, I don't think it would be better for someone to kill herself. Trust me when I say you won't ALWAYS be miserable.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

AlphaSigLana, I think that this thread may be a cry for help. Unfortunately, most of us are not really qualified or able to help you over the internet. Please go get some help from a qualified physician or licensed therapist. I wish you the best.

[OUlioness01]

I had a very close family member commit suicide 7 and 1/2 years ago and I am still having trouble dealing with it. I don't think suicide is necessarily selfish, because most people who try or succeed in commiting suicide truly believe they are doing it to make their loved ones lives better. Even so, I think that all suicides do is hurt the people that the person is killing themselves for.

[White_Chocolate]

I've always been taught that you are given no more than what you can bear. And of course I think it's a selfish act.

First of all, the only reason people become depressed is because they become self-absorbed in their own problems. They only think about themselves. A form of conceit. If they took the time to look in their neighborhoods at mentally challenged people who can't think for themselves or at people who are on their death beds from cancers eatting away at their flesh until it is rotting and smells and yet, they still manage a weak smile or joke about the pain. . .then, they would see that a problem such as weight, bullies, and a gangly appearance all fades with time and effort.

Trust me, I've been in the shoes of both wanting to do it and having a person close to me do it. I can tell you that it's a wake-up call. When I was in high school, I hated myself. I hated the place I lived in. I hated everyone around me. I would fill my journal with pages of rage and hatred of everything around me. I even contemplated ways to off myself. Then, one day, I was re-reading my thoughts and I said, 'Is my life really THAT bad?' So what if I was wearing glasses? So what if I didn't have a country accent? So what if I didn't have the latest clothes? So what if my parents were fussing at me every day about bulls*? Does that really mean that I want to kill myself. How trivial and petty. And then, I realized that if I would have killed myself. . .I wouldn't have met my boyfriend a couple of days later at a Debate Tournament where I kicked the butt of the best Debate Team in my region. I wouldn't have been there when my mom received Mom Of The Year at my church. I wouldn't have been the starring role in our fall musical. I wouldn't have seen my acceptance letter for doing the Jekkyl Island Theatre Production for the summer. I wouldn't have been anything that I am today. My parents would have been miserable and blamed themselves. My sister would have been left alone to grow up. And I wouldn't be a member of an organization that I love.

Yes, life sucks. Yes, sometimes I feel like I'm going to go crazy and kill the next person who asks me to order a highlighter for them. Yes, I hate my car. I hate bills. I hate the people who think they are better than me. I hate working at this sh*y 9 to 5 with no perks.

But if you hang on, it'll all pass and it'll all get better. It just takes some time.
Then, you'll sit back and realize how lucky you are that on that day, you didn't swallow 80 Tylenol pills.



If that doesn't work, then maybe you need to believe in a higher being. . .because that's the only other thing that will help.

[sugar and spice]

I agree with MoxieGrrl that suicide is a selfish act done for unselfish reasons. Most people who consider suicide are so absorbed in their own misery that they don't realize how much their suicide will affect their family. One of my cousins killed herself when she was 14, and her twin sister, her parents, her entire family were dealing with it for years afterwards. I don't think she could have imagined how much pain she brought them. And whenever you put the (usually short-term or medium-term) pain you're feeling before the (always long-term) pain you'll cause the people you love, that's selfish.

I also agree with James that those who attempt suicide but don't succeed are generally looking for help, not death. There are quite a few ways to kill yourself that are almost always successful, but many times people will choose other, less failproof ways (like pills) because they aren't quite ready to die yet.

I don't agree that those who are severely depressed are generally so self-absorbed that they blow things out of proportion, though. Most of the time, moderate to severe depression (not just random sadness) is caused by things outside the person's control: brain chemicals, lack of sunlight. So to blame the depression on the person is usually not correct.

Hugs for you, Lana, but I hope you know there is ALWAYS a better option than suicide. If you're in therapy, why not tell your therapist that your medication isn't working -- they can up your dosage or put you on something else that hopefully will work. And if you're not in therapy, you really should be -- it will help.

[DigitalAngel126]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
I've always been taught that you are given no more than what you can bear. And of course I think it's a selfish act.

First of all, the only reason people become depressed is because they become self-absorbed in their own problems. They only think about themselves. A form of conceit. If they took the time to look in their neighborhoods at mentally challenged people who can't think for themselves or at people who are on their death beds from cancers eatting away at their flesh until it is rotting and smells and yet, they still manage a weak smile or joke about the pain. . .then, they would see that a problem such as weight, bullies, and a gangly appearance all fades with time and effort.

There IS such a thing as being chemically imbalanced!!!!!!! Sheesh!

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate

If that doesn't work, then maybe you need to believe in a higher being. . .because that's the only other thing that will help.

That doesn't work for everyone.


AlphaSigLana,

If you are having difficulties, please find a QUALIFIED professional to help you. And although we fellow GCers mean well, only you can decide what is right and best for you.
Sending you a PM

[dzrose93]

Originally posted by AlphaSigLana
DO you think it is selfish? What if the person is so miserable that no matter what they do they can't feel better (they're even on antidepressants). Wouldn't it be better for someone to kill themself then to be miserable the rest of their lives and to make other people miserable because they are so depressed and complain about their life all the time?

Yes, I think suicide is selfish. I don't believe the person committing the act really looks at it that way, though. He/she is in pain, for whatever reason, and doesn't feel that things will get better. The person views dying as the only option. What that person doesn't think about is how the death will affect others.

My roommate committed suicide a couple of years ago. I found his body, and I can tell you that the image haunts me to this day. I still have nightmares.

He was a really, really nice guy, and I know that if he'd thought about what he was doing and how it would impact his family and friends, then he wouldn't have gone through with it. Unfortunately, he got drunk and wasn't thinking clearly when he picked up his gun.

His family has never recovered from his death. And I have never recovered fully from the shock of discovering his body.

If you're having suicidal thoughts, then you need to get help NOW. Professional help. You think that you're making people miserable now? I think you're wrong, and I can promise you that committing suicide will make your friends and family more miserable than you could ever imagine.

[chideltjen]

does your school offer counceling? at mine, they had licenced professionals as well as psych professors come in and help. When battling depression and thoughts of suicide, these people really helped. And if they can't, they can recommend you to people that can. School is a start.