Do I have a right to be pissed?

AXJules · #1 04-01-2003, 03:36 PM

Ok so today is my 21st birthday.
The day has been great so far, a bunch of my friends have called, and given me cards and it's 75 here today. Fabulous.
Anyway, I just heard from my boyfriend of a year today. He called to say hi and ask what I wanted to do tonite. He did not say happy birthday to me. (He said it last nite a little after midnite, so I guess I can excuse it. But I digress.)
So we're talking and he's like, 'So what do you want for your birthday??"
Me- "I don't know.... I never ask for gifts, and there isn't anything in particular I want."
Him in a totally casual voice-"Well you haven't told anybody what you want, so I didn't get you anything....are you sure? I can run by the mall later." Then he goes, shit I gotta go to class, I'll call you later.
ARE YOU F'ING SERIOUS?????????
Ok I am not pissed because I'm not gettting a gift. I am not a gold digger and didn't expect anything big. BUT COME ON....at least a card!!!! Please????? We just went on vacation with my family in Cancun last week.... I would have loved anything from there. He could have asked my parents. He coudl have gotten me flowers. LIke I said I don't even want any of that, if he would have gotten me a card.
Its the thought behind it, not the actual physical gift. So I'm sitting here crying wondering WTF b/c he's usually a pretty romantic guy. And he knows birthdays are a big deal to me.

Do i have a right to be upset, or am I out of line??

AlphaGamDiva · #2 04-01-2003, 03:40 PM

the day's not over yet!!! don't panic until if after dinner or whatever you still don't have something from him!! afterall, your b-day IS april fool's day!!!

HAPPY 21ST, though!!!! it's a good 'un!

monica

Honeykiss1974 · #3 04-01-2003, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXJules

Do i have a right to be upset, or am I out of line??

I agree with AlphaGamDiva. Today is April Fool's Day so maybe he is just joking with you.

However, I would be PI$$ED if you do not receive anything by tomorrow. A boyfriend should KNOW better!

greeklawgirl · #4 04-01-2003, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlphaGamDiva
the day's not over yet!!! don't panic until if after dinner or whatever you still don't have something from him!! afterall, your b-day IS april fool's day!!!

You READ my mind! Don't jump the gun. I'm sure he has something very nice in store for you.

Happy Birthday!

texas*princess · #5 04-01-2003, 04:16 PM

I totally agree!! The day isn't over yet!

Happy Happy 21st birthday!!!

The1calledTKE · #6 04-01-2003, 04:18 PM

Yes he should have known better. Some guys are stupid though so girls should never say something they don't really mean. If you wanted at least a card you should have said it. Some guys don't like games and test girls give guys. lol

Peaches-n-Cream · #7 04-01-2003, 04:19 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

You should be clear about what you want for your birthday. I know people who say that they don't want a fuss and then get mad when no one makes a fuss. Now if he surprises you, that's great. If he doesn't surprise you, tell him very specifically what you want. You'll get it.

Optimist Prime · #8 04-01-2003, 04:31 PM

Happy Birthday. He will probably get you really drunk or something.

sugar and spice · #9 04-01-2003, 04:41 PM

I don't know . . . I tend to side with those who have said that if you want something, you have to say it. There are some people (boys in particular) who are just very . . . "challenged" when it comes to giving gifts. If you say "I don't really want anything special," they don't hear "Just get me a card," they hear, "Feel free to forget about my birthday entirely.

I also think that you should wait until the end of the day to worry though . . . you've still got almost half the day left for him to get you a present.

FAB*SpiceySpice · #10 04-01-2003, 04:43 PM

Oh honey, cheer up! I am sure he is just going to surprise you later on today or something. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you! It is also one of my sisters birthdays today as well!! I hope things work out, and be

b/c it's beautiful here in Columbia today!!!!!

sigmagrrl · #11 04-01-2003, 04:46 PM

I think one thing that men get mad at us ladies about is the whole "mindreader" confusion that causes situations like this. We have to be clear with our guys about what we want and need. You've been going out for a year. You should be at a place where you can be honest with each other...

I agree with what everyone has said so far...Wait until the night is over. Also, are birthdays usually a big deal to him? If not, it's not personal. I know that birthdays were a HUGE deal in my family, so I make a HUGE deal out of everyone else's b-day and get a bit hurt when someone forgets mine...

The only reason I would get mad is if he dismisses your feelings or accuses you of making a big deal out of nothing, after you have CALMLY explained why you are upset about his nonchalant attidtude towards your special day ...THEN, I'd be mad b/c he is not hearing the words nor is he listening to you. If you come at him mad, he'll only hear and see the anger...

I speak from experience...

damasa · #12 04-01-2003, 04:53 PM

It's APRIL FOOLS!!! hahahaha

well, happy birthday anyway...

James · #13 04-01-2003, 05:03 PM

You have the right to be hurt, you may not have the right to be pissed at him per se . . . but you do have the right to leave lol.

What everyone else has said is pretty much true, especially, the communication part.

Does he know this stuff is important to you?

AXJules · #14 04-01-2003, 05:45 PM

Yeah, he knows birthdays are important to me. We've talked about this several times, b/c he hates it when people make a fuss over him, but he makes fun of me because "I need that 8 AM phone call from my friends wishing me a happy birthday." So he knows. And we've talked about it b/c my point is, I do not want you to buy me things, I just want a phone call and a card. He knows this, he's had it spelled out for him b/c on valentine's day I didn't hear from him until like 7:30 that night.

I agree that communication is really important, but that bothers me even more because we HAVE talked about this so many times.

And i don't like making him sound like a bad BF, b/c he really is good to me. Great to me. But on special occasions (anniversaries, birtdhays, V-Day) he just refuses to do what people expect of him- he calls it being cheesy, i call it common courtesy.

Whatevs. I'm sad, not pissed. I'm having a totally great day otherwise so that's it.........and the day isn't over, right???
Thanks everyone for your kind words.

AXJules · #15 04-01-2003, 05:47 PM

I think it was just the WAY he said it, like, "My ass is off the hook, since you didn't want anything, right???" LIke its no fucking big deal......then he calls me 20 mins later and asks if I want a party favor for this Air Force banquet he has, adding "It's like 8 or 10 bucks so you can just pay me tonight."
%*#*$@)( April Fool's........P.S. He's so not like that, so i'm pretty sure its not a joke