Southern Belle Lessons

Sistermadly · #1 03-27-2003, 01:34 PM

Hey!

I was talking with one of my A Phi sisters last night, and I jokingly said that she could use some southern belle lessons. Basically, I believe that southern belles are born with an innate sense of "how to be" -for example, the proper outfit to wear to each occasion, decorum, and etiquette for social occasions.

Not to say that women from other parts of the US or Canada don't know these things, but it just seems to this ex-patriate southern belle that the home training my mother gave me is taught differently in different parts of North America.

So for the southern belles out there - do you think it's possible to teach someone how to be a southern belle? If you could teach someone how to be a Belle, what would you teach them?

(I didn't think this was a repeat of the Southern Belle Primer thread, but if it is, feel free to delete/lock this thread)

dzrose93 · #2 03-27-2003, 02:58 PM

There's no way to teach a girl not born and raised in the South how to be a Southern Belle... Either you are one or you're not.

However, if I could teach someone how to be a Southern Belle, my first lesson would be titled, "How To Tell A Person To Go To Hell In Such A Way That They Actually Look Forward To Making The Trip." That's an old saying referring to Irish diplomacy, but it certainly applies to Southern Belles, too. You will NEVER know how a Southern Belle truly feels about you... unless she wants you to. We are very good at hiding displeasure. It's one of the first things our mamas teach us, and is a large part of that social etiquette you mentioned, Sistermadly.

DZHBrown · #3 03-27-2003, 03:03 PM

You might be able to pick up some habits of a Southern Belle, but you will never truly *be* a Southern Belle

I think we just learn as we grow up in the South and once we reach adulthood, such habits are ingrained in us! Like Carrie said, we can smile so sweetly and be very kind but in our minds, we're secretly cursing someone to hell. lol

KillarneyRose · #4 03-27-2003, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzrose93
"How To Tell A Person To Go To Hell In Such A Way That They Actually Look Forward To Making The Trip."

Carrie, sweetie, if ever I have read a quote that describes you to a "T", this would have to be it!!

clothesgirl · #5 03-27-2003, 03:29 PM

I'm just a canuck girl, But I'm really amused by this thread. I really agree that growing up in a certain area of the world will effect how you see the world, and while this attitude can be learned, perhaps it can't always be completely understood.

On a side note, Don't you have ettiquette schools/classes that you attend as children/ young ladies? I remember hearing that once and being so entertained. Nothing like that exists around here, but it sure would be an improvement!

pi phi love,
C.

White_Chocolate · #6 03-27-2003, 04:40 PM

My first lesson:

HOW TO MATCH SHOES WITH OUTFITS

Some girls wear those d- black platform sandals with EVERYTHING they own. Or they wear early 1990s shoes with a prom dress. That drives me INSANE.
If there's one thing that people admire about me, it is my wardrobe. Everything is catergorized according to season, color, etc. I have tons of shoes(discarding any shoes that I have had for 2 years).

ilovemyglo · #7 03-27-2003, 06:26 PM

Another thing one must learn,
When in a business situation you use your southern charm becaues then a man simply Can't refuse to help you (it is great in sales!). Dresses and skirts are preferred to pants, to show you are a lady, not a man. One must also remember not to use vulgar language, it is not lady like. Also, one must learn to cook using the following ingredients on a regular basis:
Lard, butter, bacon grease, crisco. Also cayenne pepper, tabasco, garlic and salt.

And southern women learn how to use grace to explain that no, they weren't wrong, they just made a teeny mistake.

Never give a southern woman a credit card around the changing of the seasons... especially when the word SALE comes out.

And if you compliment a southern woman on an article of clothing or accessory, be prepared to learn where it was purchased, what percentage it was off, and how it was happened upon. Unless there are men around in which case we will say "thank you, precious"

How nice this thread is!

ladybug1116 · #8 03-27-2003, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ilovemyglo
And if you compliment a southern woman on an article of clothing or accessory, be prepared to learn where it was purchased, what percentage it was off, and how it was happened upon. Unless there are men around in which case we will say "thank you, precious"

HAHAHA!!!! So true!

juniorgrrl · #9 03-27-2003, 06:50 PM

LOL! I just realized that I give people the story of my clothes/jewelry!

You can never learn to be a Southern Belle. You are one or you aren't one.

It's like Julia Sugarbaker (a consumate Southern Belle) said "class is something where either you have it or you don't." Being a southern belle is just the same.

My issue isn't as much with the platform sandals as it is the white shoes and linen before labor day. Please people, obey the seasons and the laws of the fashion police.

"Only rabbits, babies and brides should have white feet" - My mom commenting on rampant misuse of white shoes.

Oh, and don't ever ever EVER wear pantyhose and open toed shoes. Ever.

cash78mere · #10 03-27-2003, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by juniorgrrl

You can never learn to be a Southern Belle. You are one or you aren't one.

ahhhh!! don't say that!! give me some hope!! it's not my fault i was born in the north. i want to learn! give me a chance

swissmiss04 · #11 03-27-2003, 08:08 PM

Being a Southern Belle is such an innate thing that no matter how long you stay down here, how much you want it, or other such factors, you won't be. And just because you are southern does NOT make you a Belle-by-default. A lot of girls think that by drawling, saying "honey" a lot, and gushing over everything that they can pass. Unfortunately, that can't cover their "sins" so to speak (such as white shoes between Labor day and Easter, smoking in public, chewing gum, and being generally indiscreet). It's something you have to be born into, and it's far more ironclad than any sorority legacy!

DZHBrown · #12 03-28-2003, 01:48 AM

Quote:

Don't you have ettiquette schools/classes that you attend as children/ young ladies?

Hmm, I didn't. I didn't grow up in the *deep* south, though.

juniorgrrl · #13 03-28-2003, 02:00 AM

I grew up in the 'burbs of New Orleans, which is pretty deep south. And I never went to any ettiquitte classes. And I don't call anyone "honey."

But, it was a big deal to get my first set of pearls, my first monogrammed stationary, etc. And I don't chew gum EVER. Its just all those little things that are Southern Belle-y

aopirose · #14 03-28-2003, 02:41 AM

I grew up near New Orleans too. My school offered charm lessons as part of our curriculum and it was a lot of fun. Where I live now, cotillion is a BIG deal for girls and boys. Starting in the 4th grade, sometimes younger, they begin with the table graces and then they get into ballroom dancing.

Edited to add - My biggest Belle-ism is that I NEVER drink from a can if I can help it. I always ask for a glass if one is not offered at first. I also agree about the white shoes and linen. Red shoes get me too. Every time I see a pair, I remember my great-grandmother saying that red shoes are for children and whores. Although, I do have some red sandals.

A Belle is born. It is something that you ARE whether you are from Charleston or Saskatoon. It is about true style, class, and grace. Your outward appearance can change but it truly is a state of mind.

MSSTCY1 · #15 03-28-2003, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by clothesgirl
. On a side note, Don't you have ettiquette schools/classes that you attend as children/ young ladies? I remember hearing that once and being so entertained. Nothing like that exists around here, but it sure would be an improvement!

I don't think ettiquett schools are catered only in the south. I definetly took quite a few lessons at an etiquette school, and I'm from up north.