Quote:
Originally posted by jonsagara
I said: go to work
She said: No, I don't want my kids spending their early years with some strange person in a daycare.
I said: Good point. As long as we have the means, that'll be great.
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That pretty well sums up a discussion we had about thirty years ago.
And that's just what we did. Here's a post from a different thread which casts a little more light on the subject:
quote:
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Originally posted by KillarneyRose
I'm not criticizing mothers who work. I can only imagine what a juggling act that must be to handle work and family and I have a lot of respect for most of them. But the fact is, in our society, the brunt of childrearing expectations fall on the mother and while it is possible to do two fulltime jobs simultaneously at an acceptable level, I think it would be difficult if not impossible to truly excel at either.
Everyone please note:
I am just voicing my opinion. I'm no expert. I know it is a woman's right to have a career and a family at the same time for whatever reason she wants. I know there are working mothers out there who look down on me, who think I'm some parasitic creature living off my husband's fat paycheck, spending money I didn't earn with reckless abandon. That's fine. I can accept that people's opinions differ.
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Rose,
Some excellent points.
Parasite? Nope.
As I said earlier, my wife and I made an early decision that she would stay home with our children. She felt that having her mom (a college graduate and ADPi) at home really helped her early growth. While that put a fair amount of strain on our finances (and my career), we felt that constant attention, along with always having someone at home before and after school was important. Does that mean our children grew up "better" than others -- probably not. We had our share of problems, just like everyone else.
So, how did she fullfill her ambitions?
My wife is a dynamo. She would probably be a CEO of something had she chosen the business/career track. But having two BMW's was never important to us, so she chose to volunteer and ended up sitting on the board of directors for an international mother's support organization with groups in eighty-one countries. Later, she took a halftime job with another mom from that organization as co-director of a several thousand acre conservation center/outdoor museum. In both of those jobs, she was able to set her own hours and simultaneously support the kids. Now, she has her own home (new) business which is doing well and helped see us through a year's unemployment when my job was eliminated by a corporate "merger."
It really seems to me to be a matter of priorities, and I'm certainly in no position to judge anyone elses. We could probably have a much bigger house, etc., but we are very comfortable with our decision. We also realize that some moms -- single mothers in particular -- have no choice and absolutely must work to support their family. And, with the flexible hours of her business, we are able to watch our grand daughter a couple days a week while our middle daughter (challange child) and her husband get their careers going.
Finally, just as some kids aren't cut out to go to college, some people just shouldn't be parents. That's OK. We have one of each -- although the one who didn't want children recently became a step-mother through marriage and is doing well. Go figure.
Best of luck to all -- no matter what your decision may be.
In any case, no WAY I'd be staying home wiping noses. Could be why I don't really know if I want kids!
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