Dating Tips...

NinjaPoodle · #1 09-27-2002, 03:38 AM

OK ladies. Since I'm back on the market, any dating tips you can offer me??? BTW, I hate dating...I almost always get approached by guys who I want to just

I dont look my age and I get approached by guys who are 10 years my Jr.! It just happened last weekend, twice. The third guy was my age but not dateable (is that really a word?)material...at least by my standards.

HolyGhost7 · #2 09-27-2002, 03:45 PM

First thing I would say is be careful. Dating can be fun but in todays world its no joke. Everybody has their own morale and value system so I can just tell you what I am doing.

First thing first....take time to get to know yourself, your likes and dislikes, your needs your wants....etc.etc.etc. If you dont know you how can you expect someone else to get to know "the real" you. Love those things about yourself because the only one who can love you LIKE you IS YOU!!!

Second, I am prayerful about those things which I seek in a guy. I dont want to think Im getting one thing because of the way its packaged and then end up with something totally different. Know what you must have and what you can deal with. I personally can not date anyone who is not marriage potential...its a waste of time and energy.

Third, when you spend time being you. That is achieving your goals, being successful in your own life, working on things you can bring to the table then everything else will fall into place. My mama taught me never to go looking for a guy if he wants you then he will seek you ought. Some folk may disagree and call that old school but honey if you want me you gotta work for me.

Im not sure if that helped but when you are at your best others will start to take notice of you and then you go from there. Be mindful that if you are getting trash it make sure that is not what you are putting out there. Again be careful and have fun sister

HolyGhost7

SeriousSigma22 · #3 09-27-2002, 10:12 PM

HolyGhost7,

Girl, how did you get so wise!

Ninjapoodle, the sorhor gave out some very good advise. I know that before my man, Drew, I was very scared of even giving out my number or address to anyone. I would meet at a central place and proceed with caution. There are so many strange fellas out there and you don't want to deal with the crazy drama upfront.

Serioussigma22

NinjaPoodle · #4 09-30-2002, 04:48 PM

Thanks you guys.

So tell me this...why is it that after I posted this, tha very next day I went to my PO box to get my mail and I got an invitation to my old girlfriends 30th B-day party which is a PROM?? (yes, I know it's a run-on sentence)

If I could find a smilie that could pull it's hair out I would post it here!

Now, not only do I have to find a dress, but I have to find a date too! Oye vay!

And to top it off, this party is on MY BIRTHDAY?

SeriousSigma22 · #5 09-30-2002, 07:51 PM

Sorhor Ninjapoodle,

Girl, you will make it through this event with flying colors! Just relax, relate, release, (lol) I borrowed that line from "A Different World," and you will have a wonderful time.

Serioussigma22

NinjaPoodle · #6 10-01-2002, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SeriousSigma22
Just relax, relate, release, (lol)

Aaaaaahhhhh! Whitley flashback!!

NinjaPoodle · #7 10-02-2002, 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HolyGhost7
Gurl,

You dont need a date...how can you meet men if you are carrying another man on your shoulder!!! Do it up esp. because it is your birthday!!!

LOL

Girl, you so crazy! ( but you bring up a good point!)

bluethunder · #8 10-03-2002, 10:04 AM

1. don't settle.
2. don't lower your standards.

SeriousSigma22 · #9 10-03-2002, 10:44 PM

That's some great advice Sorhor Bluethunder!

Serioussigma22

NinjaPoodle · #10 10-04-2002, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HolyGhost7
... I personally can not date anyone who is not marriage potential...its a waste of time and energy.

YES, I agree especially now that I'm older.

Quote:

Originally posted by HolyGhost7
....... My mama taught me never to go looking for a guy if he wants you then he will seek you out. Some folk may disagree and call that old school but honey if you want me you gotta work for me.

I too am from the old school and was taught the same thing. You know, all the guys I dated long term (+3 years), I met them when I wasn't looking , so to speak. So, I guess if the method aint' broke, ......

Quote:

Originally posted by HolyGhost7
...Im not sure if that helped but when you are at your best others will start to take notice of you and then you go from there. Be mindful that if you are getting trash it make sure that is not what you are putting out there. Again be careful and have fun sister

Quote:

Originally posted by Bluthunder

1. don't settle.
2. don't lower your standards.

I would NEVER do either!!

i'm a Sigma Woman!

ClassyLady · #11 10-04-2002, 11:44 AM

The best way to find a man is to stop looking for one.

When you date, just try to have fun. Don't look for a relationship. Just try to find people that you like and that you can have a nice time with. Pretty soon, all of the guys that you are dating will realize how downright fabulous you are. Then, all you have to do is pick the one you want.

NinjaPoodle · #12 10-08-2002, 03:29 AM

Thank you for your positive suggestions. Mucho appreciated

So, last Friday, 10/4/02, our chapter had a table set up at First Friday's. After the networking and schmoozing, the party people started showing up. That included one of my sorors and a carload of her friends. I had planned to stay for the party but didn't intend on dancing (I don't like large crowds). Anywho, my soror and I were sitting at a table right outside the dance area, watching the people going and out of the area. If most of you know about 1st Fridays, the dress code is business attire--NO hoochie gear, jeans, sneakers, etc.. Period. So I had on a nice outfit, black slim fit pants (not tight), carmel colored v-neck sweater over a crisp white button down collared shirt, black pointed toe shoes, and a matching carmel mini purse. As my soror and I sat by the door, she was making comments regarding what people were wearing, among a few other topics. I was laughing so hard, I was crying. At that moment, as I was literally doubled over in absolute giddiness, my sorors male friend comes over to the table and sits down. She introduces us. They make small talk and then he asked me if I was going to dance at all. I said no. (Why lie?) My first thought when we were introduced was "Good God, he's cute!" After he excused himself, he got up and cruised around and I got up and went to the ladies room.

When I came back, I decided that since I was there, I might as well look around and maybe meet people. There were a lot of cute guys by the bar but I'm not a big drinker so I kept walking. One of the other friends (GDI) that came to the party with my soror, her and I got into a conversation while we were walking around the party. So we get back to the table, and my soror tells me that her male friend was inside looking for me. So I thought what the heck! I went inside and looked for him and found him. We danced a little but started talking so we went off and found a little semi-quiet corner to be able to hear each other. We had to be over there at least 45 minutes to an hour.

Well the party was winding down and it was time to go. He asked me if I had a ride home, which I did (or so I thought). There was a little confusion and one of my other chapter sorors (not intentionally) ditched me

so of course I needed a ride home and before I could even open my mouth, this nice young man offered to take me home. Now there were 3 other people in the car (1 soror and 2 other friends). So , after we dropped off the other folks, he took me all the way home to San Francisco from Oakland.

So to end this LONG story...we exchanged numbers, and the next day (saturday) we had dinner and movie, then went to a bar/club. Fun!

Who know's weather we will be just friends or more but since the two of us have a lot of common interests, I will be happy just to have this guy as a friend.

So I just want to say THANK YOU for your support.

BTW, yes he is employed, has a BA, and has ALL of his teeth! And no Bling-Bling!

HolyGhost7 · #13 10-08-2002, 07:25 PM

yeah im so proud...now see would he have approached you if you had some man...friend or not...tagging along on your shoulder. I THINK NOT!!!! You go gurl!!!!

ClassyLady · #14 10-09-2002, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NinjaPoodle
and has ALL of his teeth!

And that is the most important part

Good luck girl and have two tons of fun with him!

kizzie22 · #15 10-15-2002, 04:18 PM

Well, SoRHOr I am also back on the market again too...