HELP! laviliaring? pinning?

hopefulgreek · #1 09-05-2002, 01:28 AM

I know I spelled lava something wrong. I've been reading the tread on it and was curious- (I'm a NM AXO! YEA!) I'm getting quite serious with a non-Greek... do any schools have a special ceremony for that? Or does it go unreconized? I'd hate to be left out- I love traditions!
*mk* AXO!

nauadpi · #2 09-05-2002, 01:48 AM

Well if you get engaged they can still do a candle passing for you...I got engaged to my non-greek boyfriend...and my chapter did a candle passing for me...it was wonderful.

OUlioness01 · #3 09-05-2002, 09:47 AM

I posted on the other thread. there's pearling whcih is the equvalent to pearling....however i have discoverd through greek chat that pearling seems to be unique to my comapus. it's an idea though.

MooseGirl · #4 09-05-2002, 10:01 AM

we`ve had several sisters that pin their boyfriends/fiancés. they use recognition pins that are available for anyone to wear....and they made up their own little ceremony which they did at formal.
i`m sure you could do something like that, tak to your new sisters and see what they suggest.

jen

AchtungBaby80 · #5 09-05-2002, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MooseGirl
we`ve had several sisters that pin their boyfriends/fiancés. they use recognition pins that are available for anyone to wear....and they made up their own little ceremony which they did at formal.

I've always liked the idea of pinning guys, but we've always been told that it's just not done. I wonder why??

Optimist Prime · #6 09-05-2002, 11:00 AM

I don't like the idea of anyone not in my fraternity wearing my badge. Also would never wear badge of another org. I think sweetheart pins are fine though, if they're differant from the badge. What is pearling? YOu give them a pearl?

FuzzieAlum · #7 09-05-2002, 11:22 AM

We did pearling on my campus as well. However, it didn't happen often. Guys who weren't Greek frequently didn't understand what the big deal was to get a lavalier and didn't feel the need to get a pearl for their honeys, since it wasn't their tradition but the sorority's.

Even as far as pinning went, it varied very much by fraternity. Some chapters gave their pins to their serious girlfriends, others gave them sweetheart pins, and some chapters wouldn't do either. It depended on their national policy as well as their local sentiment and traditions.

KappaKittyCat · #8 09-05-2002, 11:32 AM

I would be very hesitant to involve a non-Greek in anything regarding my sorority's letters. Not that I'm against dating non-Greeks. However, I've just learned from experience that it takes another Greek to understand what Kappa really means to me. Non-Greeks just tend to look at me funny and get a little cross-eyed. I might lavalier my S.O. if I thought he could possibly understand the significance of my placing Kappa's letters on him. It says that I value him as much as I value Kappa, and that's a pretty hefty claim.

Optimist, on my campus when the fraternity boys pin their girlfriends, they use pledge pins. That way it's not someone wearing their actual badge. I wouldn't wear anyone else's badge. I feel that it would be a dishonour both to his organization and to Kappa. The pledge pin doesn't bother me so much, maybe because it represents just that, a pledge.

Just my 400 Lire.

AXOLiz · #9 09-05-2002, 11:48 AM

We've had a couple sisters get a pearl drop candlepassing. I think it's a great way for girls dating non-greeks to get involved in the whole lavaliering thing.

And sometimes guys will surprise you and get how much it means to you.

For one of my sisters, her boyfriend knew about candlepassings since she'd mention when someone he knew had one. He asked what it was and she told him the general idea of what happens (everyone's pretty familiar with candlepassings, and they're not really secret, at least not on my campus). So that led to conversation about what he could get her since he wasn't greek, and she told him about the pearl drop pendant. He bought her one, and she had her candlepassing. Not the most exciting story, but it was the first time he was really supportive of her being greek, so it meant a lot to her.

violets · #10 09-05-2002, 01:56 PM

Okay, new terms for me that need explanation:
pearling and pearl drop. I assume that it means a non-Greek guy gives his girlfriend a pearl drop necklace in lieu of letters? This is sweet and inclusive of all relationships. Very nice.
At my chapter we had candle passings for significant events in a woman's life, like taking the MCATs or LSATS or becoming an Aunt, or things like that. We had traditions that weren't limited to just romantic relationships. I really liked that.
violets

FuzzieAlum · #11 09-05-2002, 02:28 PM

Yup, it was just a single pearl on a chain.

In our candlepasses, the first time around was for "friendship." So if a sister had something big to announce she could do it that way.

AlphaSigOU · #12 09-05-2002, 02:36 PM

The rules on a female wearing a fraternity member's badge vary between fraternities, but it is generally restricted only to the member's fiancee or wife, or sometimes to the mother or immediate female relatives of the member. In my fraternity, the only female member who can wear a member's badge is the wife or fiancee of a brother. At the brother's discretion, he may instead give a special 'sister pin' that may be worn by the female relatives of his family.

It's not seen as often as it was in the days of old, but it was common for fraternities to have a pinning ceremony whenever a member announced their engagement.

Also, it was not unusual for fraternity and sorority members, when they became married, to permanently join their badges together, something that is rarely, if ever done today.

aephi alum · #13 09-05-2002, 06:49 PM

I'm married to an independent. Somehow he heard about the traditions of lavaliering and pinning, and asked me to explain... a few days later, he "lavaliered" me with a little heart-shaped pendant. My sorority did a candle passing, just as if I'd received a fraternity lavalier.

A friend of mine (who is an AXO) was recently "pinned" by her boyfriend, also an independent. Her chapter did a candle passing for her.

So just because you're dating an independent doesn't mean you have to be left out.

hopefulgreek · #14 09-05-2002, 09:24 PM

I don't think it's common to do pearling but I had heard of it before from a girl at UK... I'm at UF! Maybe I'll start something around this place!
*MK*

NewGirl · #15 09-05-2002, 10:32 PM

hey hopeful! or new member of my sorority!!
woo hoo!
anyways, when i was at fsu, girls had a candle light if they were lavaliered, promise ringed, or engaged.. so it doesnt matter to much if your boyfriend is greek or not! its still SUPER special!!
axlove and mine
ashley
ps- do u have any new sisters from orlando??