For Alumnae From Over 20 Years

[honeychile]

I'm interested in hearing about how others feel about your fraternity or sorority after a few years down the road.

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers or sisters?

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association?

Do you hold any offices?

Do you keep track of your National's policies?

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these?

Let's try to keep this civil, but after reading some of the other threads, I am curious.

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[UVASquirrel]

I initiated in 1990, so I'm almost 34 years in.

I've been involved in alumnae groups since graduation and have held offices in each group I was with. I've also served on our national volunteer team. Almost a year ago, I was offered a job to work for my organization and even though I am closer to retirement age than anything else, I jumped at the chance.

Have I always agreed with every decision my organization makes? No. Have I ever considered disaffiliating? No. The thought has never entered my mind.

[carnation]

For the first four: I used to be in alum clubs, hold offices, win awards, etc.

Now--no. My group has done some pretty crappy stuff without notifying members and I no longer donate. My group has lost a boatload of money over that. They will also lose countless members, including me, if they try to pull off something in which they said, "We'll have a committee on this one," and then stuffed the committee with their people.

I don't care anymore. I have 7 Greek daughters and 2 Greek sons. None are active alums either because of major decisions made at the national level without member input, which is why so many of our organizations are hemorrhaging money.

Gonna be interesting to see how the national organizations will be able to keep up all those mansions, having lost so much financial support.

[PrettyBoy]

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers? Yes

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association? No

Do you hold any offices? No

Do you keep track of your National's policies? Yes

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these? No

[Titchou]

60 year member here. Still attend alum events. Am presenting a national award at Founders Day next month. Held numerous local offices, several regional offices and two national offices. 19 Conventions. Two national awards. Started being active on regional level in 1980, left last office in 2009. Have friends all over the country. We cannot deactivate. Resignation is only option. Reinstatement is very difficult. I keep track of all national policies. Do I agree with them all? No, never have. Got in trouble for being vocal about some of it. But I'm still here.

[Sen's Revenge]

I was initiated into an NPHC fraternity as a 23 year old alumnus, 21 years ago.

I keep in touch with one chapter member, whom I co-sponsored when he was initiated in 2017 in his late 30s. I moved, joined another alumni chapter, where i remained active for two years, and now I am at large (dues paid to the general organization, but not a chapter).

I recently accepted an appointment on the district level. I have previously been a national committee chairman and a regional committee chairman. I maintain friendships with members across the country and consider a past national officer a dear friend.

I keep track of my fraternity's policies.

I do not think I have seriously contemplated total disaffiliation (renouncing), but a few years ago, I had strong feelings that the organization's homophobia would never get better, so why stay?

I'm glad it's getting better and that I found a group of queer bros for support.

[AGDee]

I accepted my bid 40 years ago on 2/15!

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers or sisters? Yes! Many of them are on Facebook and a few are still pretty close friends. One is my ride or die bestie.

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association? Yes! I've been in the same Alumnae Club since the early 90's. They are the group of women who have really been through life together. Marriages, babies, divorces, kid graduations, parent illnesses and losses- they are an incredible group of women who I love dearly. We had a meeting the night of 9/11 and I was so glad to be with people I loved that night instead of at home scared and shaken.

Do you hold any offices? President of my alumnae club now. I was an advisor for 5 years when I first graduated. Then I joined our volunteer services team at the international level and was active that way for 30 years before "retiring" and focusing on local activities instead.

Do you keep track of your National's policies? Yes, very much so. I retired from our volunteer team because it was restructured and volunteers lost of a lot of autonomy as staff took over more and more. I didn't feel like my talents were being utilized at that point so I moved into more involvement with another organization where I have more ability to make an impact. But I'm still on top of our policies, still a voting member as an Alumnae Club President and our current International President is one of my favorite people in the world.

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these? No. I wouldn't request suspension of my membership ever. I bleed red, buff and green so ...

All that said, I'm probably one of the rarities of the women my age who get more upset about us not doing enough rather than those of you who feel changes have gone too far. I see no reason at all for religion to be part of sorority in any way. I think recs are antiquated and ridiculous. Most schools around me have never seen a rec and don't know what to do with it when they get it. I write recs all the time for people who are rushing in the south because I know it's necessary. But I know a ton of women from our local high school who became Alpha Gams simply because they are great women and they didn't need recs to do it. They seem like a box checking activity for those huge schools down south. In my 35 years working with collegiate chapters, I've only seen 2 or 3 "no recs" so I don't see that as a reason to continue them.

I also think we should accept membership from anybody who identifies as a woman because we are all about supporting women. I see a significant difference between sex and gender.

If anything, I get upset about other things like what IHQ is prioritizing spending money on. I think having actual headquarters buildings is an unnecessary expense in a world where we can do work remotely. I think the groups who have ditched their headquarters, moved their historic archive types of items into a flagship collegiate house are the smartest. There is absolutely no activity occurring in a building that couldn't happen virtually or in a temporary rented location at a much lower cost.

At least in Michigan, we have two flagship schools with growing membership and strong chapters. Everywhere else, greek life is hurting bad- with quotas of 3, 4 or 5. Schools where chapter totals used to be 55, it's now 35. There are fewer Gen Zs to begin with and even fewer going to college in a traditional way. Gen Zs do not do ANYTHING that they don't see significant value in. We won't exist if we don't adapt what we offer and how we offer it.

[33girl]

First off: this is regarding my ASA membership. I have admittedly been a shitty Alpha Phi Omega alumnus, I actually had to check to see if we were currently on campus since we've been on and off through the years. We are on! I am on the chapter's facebook page, which they rarely use. Maybe in 20 years or so this won't be the case, but I feel like there is still a technology gap between 50ish and older members who don't put everything on Instagram or TikTok to communicate. (That applies to all clubs of all kinds BTW.)

As far as ASA - I communicate with my chapter sisters daily (FB & texting) as well as many members of my school's larger Greek community. Our "era" had incredibly tight bonds and we've preserved them over the years. Not just my chapter, but all the chapters.

Next 2 questions-no & no. The last time I tried doing something with the alumnae chapter I was the only one who showed up to the event. I should try again but I'm leery.

National policies - our last big blowup was over the legacy policy. We also seem to be heavier than most on the DEI. I find this ironic because our chapter was told back in the day that our differently abled, gay, ethnic minority, non-model figure members were deleterious to our recruitment efforts and "undesirable." Nowadays we'd probably get a friggin medal.

Deactivating- hell no. I love our founding story and the fact that we went through some serious hot mess 20 years on and had strong determined women who got us through it. I love our colors, our symbolism, and our creed. I love our simple and beautiful rituals. This to me is what the sorority is about - not the flavor of the month.

[AOIIalum]

Do you keep in touch with your chapter sisters? Yes. Although I moved away from my "home town" almost 36 years ago (returning for about 9 years in that span) thanks to cell phones and social media I keep in touch with a few. I also have a ride or die bestie from my collegiate chapter. Even when life and location keep us physically apart, we are still there for each other. Every time we talk or text it's like no time has passed at all!

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association? Yes, my local Alumnae Chapter and another one as a Secondary Member.

Do you hold any offices? Yes, currently finishing a term as Alumnae President. Previously held a variety of local and network/regional positions through the years. After this term is finished I'll be an 'as active as I can be' alumnae chapter member. Sadly my health needs to take priority moving forward.

Do you keep track of your National's policies? Yes, very much. Do I agree with them all? Of course not.

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these? Never. My heart belongs to AOII.

[jolene]

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers or sisters?
Mostly via social media, but we do try to get together occasionally. Some of us had a white elephant exchange last December.

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association?
I have been involved with a couple of area alum associations in the past. The one I was very active in died out. Many of us were having babies at the time and it was hard with young children to regularly get together.

Do you hold any offices?
In my former alum assoc (the one that's no longer active) I did the web design.

Do you keep track of your National's policies?
Not as much as I should.

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these?
I don't think I'd ever deactivate, I'd just no longer donate or entertain the thought of being involved as an alum. If things got completely nuts, I'd probably recommend young women I know (friends' daughters, etc) going through recruitment to skip Alpha Xi.

[Cheerio]

Our small chapter had women from all over the U.S: New Jersey, Nebraska, Florida, Illinois, Texas, Wisconsin, etc.. Back before social media, keeping in touch with far-flung sisters after graduation was more difficult because they either ended up back home or in Georgia, Arizona, Texas, Iowa, etc.. In the past five years I've only contacted one collegiate sister, but we never managed to meet in person.

Keeping track of National Policies is easily done thru my membership in a local Aumnae Association.

As have many NPC sororities, mine has chosen to Change With The Times during the past half-decade. I have no plan to deactivate from my sorority.

[SWTXBelle]

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers or sisters? Yes - we get together periodically.

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association? Yes.

Do you hold any offices? Former president - am on an international committee.

Do you keep track of your National's policies? Yes. I've found Gamma Phi to be thoughtful and strategic.

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these? No.

[shadokat]

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers or sisters? Yes, there is a group of about 8 of us who talk regularly and on occasion have dinner, etc. We were in each other's weddings and all of those life events. A couple of years ago we went to see Hootie and the Blowfish, as we're all 90s college students, and it was AMAZING

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association? For a hot second, yes. But it was so disorganized with only a couple of people actually doing anything. I left after a couple of months.

Do you hold any offices? I volunteered with my organization for a very long time and held national offices. In the late 2000's and early 2010's, our organization moved to a model of being more staff run than volunteer driven, and this alienated A LOT of national volunteers, myself included. I remained as a chapter advisor and then assisted with and advised a new chapter that opened in my area around 2015. After being smacked in the hand by IHQ more than once for trying to help the new chapter be successful, I had enough and bowed out. I do not miss it at all, but I do miss the amazing people I met through volunteering that I no longer am in touch with.

Do you keep track of your National's policies? I do, but I don't agree with all of them. For the record, I like the legacy policy and I do not have children who would benefit from such a policy. I just think it's a special thing for a mother/daughter/grandmother/etc. to share.

The gender stuff has been something I struggle with. Part of it is just lack of understanding of so many different designations, etc. Part of it is that I feel like a lot of this is just a way to grab more members and money. I joined a sorority because I wanted to be a part of a group of like-minded women. What I identify as like-minded is different today than it was in 1993 when I was initiated. I also believe that a lot of these policies are in place as a "look how progressive we are" type of thing. But when you look at the sorority as a whole, it's just not that big of an issue. And sadly, the weaker-recruiting chapters are the ones who are taking these policies more seriously. For instance, you wouldn't dare see a chapter at Georgia or Alabama or Florida taking transgender women. But little 20-member chapter in New Hampshire might be a totally different story. It's all just sort of confusing to me.

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these? I never considered resigning my membership over polices. I did consider resigning when so many of our volunteers were pushed out of the picture for a more staff-run organization. But at the end of the day, my sisters are why I joined this group and why I stay connected to DPhiE. Nothing the national organization does can take away those relationships.

[ASTalumna06]

I'll hit 20 years in April, so close enough.

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers or sisters?
A handful of them on a more regular basis. I was also in a very small chapter.

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association?
I have in the past, but I'm not currently active in one. Moving frequently sometimes makes it difficult.

Do you hold any offices?
I'm currently the VP of our Foundation board.

In addition, since 2008, I've been the Recruitment Advisor for my chapter, the lead editor for our national magazine (8 years), inaugural chair of our Sorority Advisory Committee (2 terms), and the chair of our Governing Documents Committee (1 term).

Do you keep track of your National's policies?
By the very nature of my volunteer positions over the last 15 years, yes, I've kept up with them.

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these?
Never.

[DGTess]

Do you keep in touch with your chapter brothers or sisters? Absolutely. I speak with one on a weekly basis. Others we visit when we can, since we're spread all over the country, we email, and we have a few Facebook groups. Fifty years ago last week was my initiation (2/17/1974), and all five of us who initiated that day chatted.

Do you belong to an Alumnae Association? Yes. I've always been a dues-paying member of an alumnae association if there was one near me (I've lived in 5 states and 2 countries since school). I'm currently an officer, but many times have been *just* a dues-payer.

Do you hold any offices? VP: Finance right now.

Do you keep track of your National's policies?Absolutely.

Have you ever considered deactivating due to a change in any of these?Absolutely. Still am considering it. Delta Gamma has played the "inclusion" game to the *exclusion* of many.