Dropping my sorority

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Do I recall that this is the second sorority that you pledged? If so, then perhaps you are right that sorority life might not be a good fit for you. You feel the way you feel.

ETA: please do not transfer schools thinking or hoping that another chapter will be different. Please concentrate on what is best for your education. That is the MOST important thing, not a sorority.

No, I haven't pledged another sorority. I had below a 3.0 in high school (laziness and arrogance, woops) and so I was cut from recruitment heavily my freshman year. My college GPA is well above a 3.5. I think that in general I am a good fit for sorority life because I believe in my sorority's ritual and what historically it aims to instill in women - but like I've said, I don't think this particular chapter fulfills.

Also, I am not looking into transferring specifically for the sorority; there are a multitude of different reasons that I'm interested in transferring (better opportunities for my field, closer to home, etcetera) and if I do, I would want to look into transferring chapters as well.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Putting the confusion aside (not sure if you are transferring, want to resign, or what, based on all you've written):

If you are a Kappa Alpha Theta, feel free to PM me and I can explain the process of resigning your membership. Your options are limited and you need to act quickly if that is your choice. There are financial responsibilities and obligations that kick in as soon as the semester starts.

The individual chapter's by-laws likely do not address this, because it is in the (inter)national constitution/bylaws. Does that make sense?

I am almost positive that I want to resign at this point, but I want to talk to someone about what my options are. I'm not a Kappa Alpha Theta, but I appreciate your willingness to help! That makes perfect sense, I will try to get in touch with an advisor as soon as I talk to my parents about my decision.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by pineapples

No, I haven't pledged another sorority. I had below a 3.0 in high school (laziness and arrogance, woops) and so I was cut from recruitment heavily my freshman year. My college GPA is well above a 3.5. I think that in general I am a good fit for sorority life because I believe in my sorority's ritual and what historically it aims to instill in women - but like I've said, I don't think this particular chapter fulfills.

Also, I am not looking into transferring specifically for the sorority; there are a multitude of different reasons that I'm interested in transferring (better opportunities for my field, closer to home, etcetera) and if I do, I would want to look into transferring chapters as well.

I see. Sorry for the confusion! With all of the Aug 2012 posts deleted, I was confused about the posts titled "Dropping Out." I wish you the best with all of these big decisions!

[violetgeek]

You say you are in awe of several of your Alum Advisors. Have you talked to any of them? Not about the procedure but on how you feel? It is my experience (over 30 years a member) that many of the more active Alumnae I've known were not the "super member" during college. Many of us, me included, didn't really fall in love with our Fraternity until after college. While the college experience was fun, most of the time, I really didn't connect that deeply with many of my chapter sisters. It's the sisters from other chapters, other parts of the country, different ages, that have made me really feel like I fit in. For me at least, it took more than a few years for every thing to sink in! I'd hate for you to give up on something now that might have great meaning for you for many years to come.

[NutBrnHair]

I know that unhappy members have been a part of every organization for decades, but it seems to be much more prevalent today. Some of the new members act like they are joining a health club. They are "really into it" for the first few weeks and then decide they aren't getting their money's worth. If we're not happy all of the time, if it's more responsibility than we thought, if we don't get along with everyone... then just quit. That's the answer.

Greek organizations are for a LIFETIME.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

I know that unhappy members have been a part of every organization for decades, but it seems to be much more prevalent today. Some of the new members act like they are joining a health club. They are "really into it" for the first few weeks and then decide they aren't getting their money's worth. If we're not happy all of the time, if it's more responsibility than we thought, if we don't get along with everyone... then just quit. That's the answer.

Greek organizations are for a LIFETIME.

No need to be patronizing. I already came to the conclusion on my own that I should probably cut my losses and quit. I asked for help in how to determine what the appropriate procedure is for dropping.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by Jen

If the sorority as a whole appeals to you, and you feel you may be able to make a contribution in the future, see if it's possible to take early alumnae status. It may be that collegiate membership isn't a good fit for you, but alumnae membership may be. Collegiate membership is only 4 years or so, but the sorority is a lifetime membership - there are a lot of aspects of your sorority you have yet to experience.

This is something I am VERY interested in, one of the main selling points for me joining a Greek organization was the alumni connections. However, I'm not sure if it's an option for me since I was just initiated this past semester I guess it's just something I'll have to discuss with an advisor once I take that step.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by violetgeek

You say you are in awe of several of your Alum Advisors. Have you talked to any of them? Not about the procedure but on how you feel? It is my experience (over 30 years a member) that many of the more active Alumnae I've known were not the "super member" during college. Many of us, me included, didn't really fall in love with our Fraternity until after college. While the college experience was fun, most of the time, I really didn't connect that deeply with many of my chapter sisters. It's the sisters from other chapters, other parts of the country, different ages, that have made me really feel like I fit in. For me at least, it took more than a few years for every thing to sink in! I'd hate for you to give up on something now that might have great meaning for you for many years to come.

I haven't, even though I really think that is going to be my first action that I take once I return back to school. It's slightly intimidating because I don't want to disappoint them, but at some point I'm going to need to discuss this with someone who can give me a more definitive answer, and if not, some guidance.

Missing out on connecting with women all over the country after college is one of the things that I will really miss if I drop, from day 1 of recruitment this is something that I expressed serious interest in to my chapter. I am going to look into what steps I can take to be granted early alumni status - if possible. I think that is the ideal situation for me.

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by pineapples

This is something I am VERY interested in, one of the main selling points for me joining a Greek organization was the alumni connections. However, I'm not sure if it's an option for me since I was just initiated this past semester I guess it's just something I'll have to discuss with an advisor once I take that step.

Sounds to me like you want all of the privileges and none of the responsibilities.

I would very much doubt that you would qualify for early alumnae status.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Sounds to me like you want all of the privileges and none of the responsibilities.

I would very much doubt that you would qualify for early alumnae status.

Well you're certainly entitled to draw whatever conclusions you want, not that it accomplishes much or helps me in any way.

I've gotten the answers that I needed.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by pineapples

After not feeling satisfied with recruitment my freshman year

Shyeah. Methinks this was where the problem started. To spell it out, maybe if you would have stuck with it and given the chapters a chance who gave you a chance, they would have been the "nice" girls you wanted. Some girls think they can choose and/or stick with a GLO strictly based on ritual and mottoes and philanthropy and networking opportunities, but NPC recruitment just doesn't work that way.

If you're not transferring next semester, contact your national headquarters and they will let you know the proper procedure for self-termination. As others mentioned, do this ASAP before you and/or the chapter are on the hook for another $2000.

[Titchou]

You know, it's about the lifetime experience, not 2-3 years of college. Seems to me that you are more interested in the wedding than the marriage.

[justgo_withit]

With regard to the comments you've received not being exactly what you asked for, It shouldn't be a shock that sorority actives and alumnae that are so involved as to be posting on an internet forum would try to encourage you to not terminate your lifetime membership.

Also, future women considering dropping may do a search and find this thread, so the comments are for them as well.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Shyeah. Methinks this was where the problem started. To spell it out, maybe if you would have stuck with it and given the chapters a chance who gave you a chance, they would have been the "nice" girls you wanted. Some girls think they can choose and/or stick with a GLO strictly based on ritual and mottoes and philanthropy and networking opportunities, but NPC recruitment just doesn't work that way.

If you're not transferring next semester, contact your national headquarters and they will let you know the proper procedure for self-termination. As others mentioned, do this ASAP before you and/or the chapter are on the hook for another $2000.

Well, I don't disagree with you there. Even though my dissatisfaction with recruitment the first time around was due to heavy grade-based cuts, I am sure that I joined the wrong chapter for me - but that's a whole different story there.

Thank you for answering my question!

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

With regard to the comments you've received not being exactly what you asked for, It shouldn't be a shock that sorority actives and alumnae that are so involved as to be posting on an internet forum would try to encourage you to not terminate your lifetime membership.

Also, future women considering dropping may do a search and find this thread, so the comments are for them as well.

It's not people trying to discourage me that grated on my nerves, I am more irritated by the patronizing tone. I wouldn't expect that on a very open and public forum of Greeks.