New member dilemma

[33girl]

Originally Posted by LouisaMay

"Yes, you certainly can, but when you aren't drinking and you aren't comfortable around alcohol or often underage drinkers (if we are being honest), hanging out with people who are deliberately drinking to get drunk is really, really NOT fun. Believe me...I have often been a designated driver. When people do more than have a few social drinks or wine with dinner, it is not a fun spectator sport.

She said that she isn't "judging" anyone - I would guess that encompasses the underage issue as well as the alcohol issue in general.

And yes, I have been at the "everyone only goes there to get poopy faced" bar stone cold sober. It isn't the funnest experience. However, you never know when one of those poopy faced people will need a shoulder to lean on. That's what sisterhood is about. (Of course the real issue is the fact that they do have to pregame in the first place, instead of drinking in the open, but that's another thread.)

She said that she is already at a disadvantage as a spring semester pledge - like it or not, she needs to try a little harder to make her place in the group, and this is part of it.

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

I'd play drinking games with a 20oz Coke.

EXACTLY. (Although Mayor Bloomberg would try to get you for that one nowadays, LOL)

[adpiucf]

I assure you that you will find groups of people who attend these events and who don't drink and still have fun. That being said, do what makes you comfortable. If you don't want to be around it, you don't have to be. Just remember, as others have pointed out, that you'll be in environments where alcohol is served all your adult life in work and social situations. So it may be good to attempt to attend a few of these events and seek out like-minded people and/or simply blend in with your non-alcoholic beverage. People may invite you to drink as a friendly gesture, but very rarely are you going to find someone to keep pestering you about it once you've said no thanks.

I was not really into beer or mixed drinks in college, and I was perfectly happy to hang out with my soda or water if I didn't care for what was being served. And I always met plenty of non-drinkers at those parties who blended in and had fun, too.

[ADPi95]

Is there a way you can turn what you perceive to be a negative into a positive? Can you volunteer to be a sober sister? You can either stay at home and wait for a call, or attend a social event and stay sober and offer a ride home.

I know that the chapter I advise is always looking to assign sober sisters for events. Everyone is ALWAYS appreciate of those who volunteer.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ADPi95

Is there a way you can turn what you perceive to be a negative into a positive? Can you volunteer to be a sober sister? You can either stay at home and wait for a call, or attend a social event and stay sober and offer a ride home.

I know that the chapter I advise is always looking to assign sober sisters for events. Everyone is ALWAYS appreciate of those who volunteer.

Some GLOs/chapters aren't allowed to have an official sober sister program as their leadership perceives it as acknowledging that underage drinking occurs and acknowledging that incurs more risk for the organization. (Kind of like pretending that the Mafia doesn't exist by not mentioning it.) That being said, she can certainly make that offer in an unofficial capacity if she has a car and feels comfortable doing so.

The only "negative" here is that she's avoiding events with her sisters (and throwing dues money down the toilet).

[ADPi95]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Some GLOs/chapters aren't allowed to have an official sober sister program as their leadership perceives it as acknowledging that underage drinking occurs and acknowledging that incurs more risk for the organization. (Kind of like pretending that the Mafia doesn't exist by not mentioning it.) That being said, she can certainly make that offer in an unofficial capacity if she has a car and feels comfortable doing so.

The only "negative" here is that she's avoiding events with her sisters (and throwing dues money down the toilet).

Thanks for clearing that up! And yes, even in an unofficial capacity she could still offer to help. No one needs to be driving under the influence, overage (or underage).

And I totally agree about the missing out part!

[KSUViolet06]

I joined at 19 and was one of those people who didn't drink til I was legal. If I'd avoided social events because I didn't drink, I would never have gone to a formal.

Service is cool. Chapter meeting is ok. But 10 years down the road when you're my age, the things you're going to talk about and cherish the most are things like your first formal where such and such hilarious thing happened. Or the time at date party when _________. If I'd avoided socials because I didn't drink, I wouldn't have been part of those moments.

There were even some nights AFTER I turned 21 where I just didn't feel like drinking, but still hung out at whatever event, because the point of the event was creating memories and those "Hey remember when?" moments with my girls.

No good fun story ever starts with "That one time, at business meeting..."

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

No good fun story ever starts with "That one time, at business meeting..."