a reluctant PNM faces the music

[facethemusic]

Hello there,

I was doing some spring cleaning the other day and came across none other than my "rush notebook" - the little pad of paper I used to jot down notes between houses when I went through rush. I had such a good time flipping through it and seeing how much growing up I did that week that I've decided to use my old notes to reconstruct my recruitment story for the enjoyment of the GC community!!

Now, I've been reading recruitment stories on here long enough to know that preserving anonymity is important, so a few of the details of my story might be changed for that purpose. But I promise that I'll only change things that are inconsequential to my recruitment story as a whole!! I know how much fun a recruitment story can be to read, and I don't want to ruin it by making it TOO made-up.

That being said, some of you who've been around here awhile may have the know-how to figure out who I am, or at least WHERE I am. If you manage to figure it out, you're welcome to PM me and confirm you've guessed right, but please keep it on the DL! I am still a student at my school and would hate for the details of my rush to become public knowledge.

Thanks everyone!

-facethemusic

[facethemusic]

We'll start off with some background information to set the scene...

At the end of my senior year of high school, when I finally committed to my school, my mom was absolutely THRILLED that it had a thriving Greek community. Her alma mater did as well, however she was not able to afford a sorority when she was in college. It was something she always regretted, and she pushed me and pushed me to sign up for rush insisting that I'd have fun and make so many friends.

At the time, I could think of about a million reasons why I SHOULDN'T rush, including the following:

1. I was the straight-A valedictorian of my high school, and no sorority would want a nerd in their house.
2. I was painfully shy and making conversation during rush would be excruciating on every level of my existence.
3. I was coming from over 1,000 miles away and knew NO ONE at my new school, and no connections surely meant no bid.
4. I was pursuing a notoriously difficult major, and a sorority would take up too much time that I'd need to spend studying.
5. Sorority girls were all cheerleaders and pageant girls whereas I was a geeky musician who excelled in two instruments and spent my weekends traveling to auditions and solo competitions rather than waving pom-poms at football games.
6. I was neither blonde nor noticeably pretty.
7. I held tightly to my Christian faith, and pledging a sorority would mean having to abandon my beliefs in order to drink, party, and hook up.

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW, every single item on that list is a horrible misconception. Rest assured, I have since changed my views and now view Greek life with nothing but appreciation. But at the time, I was convinced that I would be hands-down the WORST pnm my school had ever seen.

Nevertheless my dear mother, worried about her painfully quiet daughter making friends in a faraway new place, signed me up for recruitment. And thus did I reluctantly begin the whirlwind of preparations.

As I said previously, I came to my school from over 1,000 miles away. Greek life is prominent in the schools from my home region, but the nature of the sororities and in some cases the specific chapters present at the schools are very different simply due to the geography. This made the whole process extremely unpredictable, and securing recommendations was beyond difficult. But the more hard worked I poured into assembling outfits and mailing off recommendations, the more I started to think that maybe something that required this much work was something worth doing.

My new school had sixteen sororities. I'll name them after instruments for the purpose of my story, and because I love a good symphony. I'll also include some previous connections to the chapters as necessary.

Violin
Trumpet - This sorority didn't have much of a presence in my home region, but through a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend I managed to meet an alum of this very chapter who had moved to my hometown after graduating from my new school. Not only that, but she had graduated with the same difficult degree I planned on pursuing. We met for coffee to talk about Greek life at my new school, and she was smart and sweet, which began to chip away at some of my misconceptions about sorority women. She also ensured that I went into rush with a VERY high opinion of this chapter.Clarinet
French Horn
Cello
Flute
Piano - Let's just say that my opinion of this chapter wasn't great going into Rush. Based on the girls I knew who had pledged this sorority at schools in my home state, I did NOT think I was going to fit in here.
Percussion
Saxophone - Going into Rush, I wanted to be a Saxophone soooooo badly. I was absolutely in love with their philanthropy. I had close personal ties to its mission and had spent countless hours during high school working on volunteer projects there. I wanted nothing more than to maintain my relationship with the organization and continue being a part of their work. I had also heard that this was a "top" chapter on campus, and I had a glowing recommendation from someone who was just as passionate about the philanthropy as myself.
Viola - My best friend's mom had been president of a chapter of this sorority during college (at another university). I looked up to her a lot and therefore had a very high opinion of this sorority going into rush. She also wrote me a fabulous rec.
Guitar
Double Bass - I had many older friends who had pledged this sorority at schools in my home state, so I had a good opinion of it prior to rush and was anxious to meet the chapter at my new school.
Trombone - I was the first person in my immediate family to go Greek, but a distant relative (I call her a "cousin" but to be honest, I'm not sure if we're technically related) was a Trombone. She wrote me a fabulous rec and this was the closest thing I had to a legacy chapter.
Oboe
Bassoon
Voice

I'm so excited to tell my story; I hope y'all will enjoy it!!

[facethemusic]

Oops - Clarinet should be on its own line between Trumpet and French Horn. Sorry!

[MaryPoppins]

You know we can't wait. Please don't leave us in too much suspense ;-)

[facethemusic]

Day 0 - Convocation

Recruitment convocation was late in the afternoon on the day of move-in. My family helped me move in to my dorm and after some teary goodbyes they went on their way and I made my way to convocation.

I walked to convocation with my roommate and a girl who lived on our hall. My roommate "Kat" and I were from opposite ends of the country and had met previously on a roommate-matching website. We got along fabulously, but I was already feeling jealous of her seemingly perfect "sorority girl" persona - blonde, pretty, and a successful pageant competitor. My gut told me she would have a much easier week than I would. The other girl, "Sara," lived a few doors down from us and had hit it off with Kat during move-in because they were from the same hometown. I walked quietly beside them while they chattered excitedly about their hometown, feeling left out and overwhelmingly nervous for the week to come.

My Pi Chi had contacted me earlier that week about where I would find her. I followed her instructions, sat down with my group, and immediately started sizing up the girls around me. (It's superficial, I know, but when your rush nerves are on edge, you just can't help it sometimes.)

The other girls in my group had their hair and makeup flawlessly prepared and sported cute sundresses. I, on the other hand, was wearing athletic shorts and a t-shirt, both soaked with sweat from hauling all of my things during move-in. My makeup had long since been sweated off, and my brown hair was in a messy ponytail. Speaking of brown hair, my Pi Chi was the only other one who had it.

Blondes. All of them.

I was screwed.

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

Day 0 - Convocation


Blondes. All of them.

I was screwed.

HA! this made me laugh!

[aab225]

Can't wait to read more!

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

At the time, I could think of about a million reasons why I SHOULDN'T rush, including the following:

1. I was the straight-A valedictorian of my high school, and no sorority would want a nerd in their house.
2. I was painfully shy and making conversation during rush would be excruciating on every level of my existence.
3. I was coming from over 1,000 miles away and knew NO ONE at my new school, and no connections surely meant no bid.
4. I was pursuing a notoriously difficult major, and a sorority would take up too much time that I'd need to spend studying.
5. Sorority girls were all cheerleaders and pageant girls whereas I was a geeky musician who excelled in two instruments and spent my weekends traveling to auditions and solo competitions rather than waving pom-poms at football games.
6. I was neither blonde nor noticeably pretty.
7. I held tightly to my Christian faith, and pledging a sorority would mean having to abandon my beliefs in order to drink, party, and hook up.

LOL ... If everyone from my school thought that way, there would be no sororities there. I was a straight-A valedictorian, an introvert, pursuing a difficult major, and a brunette. But half my class were valedictorians or salutatorians planning to pursue difficult science or engineering majors, I forced myself to de-introvert myself for rush, and there's nothing wrong with being a brunette! And, as I quickly learned, the "frat boys" who wanted to get drunk and hook up didn't want to hook up with girls from my school... we were too smart to jump into bed with some random guy. (Note that I am distinguishing between "frat boys" who only want to party and hook up, vs. fraternity men who are gentlemen and treat women with respect.)

[facethemusic]

I wanted to start off by apologizing for the whole blonde stereotyping thing - I'm so sorry if that offended anyone. I promise I'm not usually one to pass judgement based on someone's hair color; I just wanted to convey how utterly ridiculous my idea of a "sorority girl" was as I went into recruitment. Blondes of the GC community, you are all beautiful and I am eternally jealous! <3

On with the story.....



Evening of Day 0 - Convocation

I recall sitting on the floor of my room that night with other rushees who lived on my hall and were my new neighbors. We were doing each other's nails, and I was trying to hold my own as the conversation flowed between topics like celebrities, hairstyles and fashion, none of which were anywhere remotely near my comfort zone. My iPod was playing on shuffle and I was on pins and needles at the end of every song, terrified that the next one to play would be Chopin or Debussy, revealing the musician/nerd I was trying so hard to conceal.

Let me clarify, I by no means thought poorly of my new friends and neighbors. I genuinely liked them, but was intimidated by them. They were exactly the kind of beautiful, funny and confident girls I had always been jealous of in high school. So far they seemed to like and accept me too, which thrilled me, but I was scared it wouldn't last long once they realized just what a weirdo I really was.

Anyway, the "tent talk" had already begun in full force. Flute was .... ahem ... "promiscuous." Cello was the "top" chapter on campus and impossible to get into. Violin was on bottom and would take pretty much anyone. Bassoon girls had money out you-know-where.

I was trying really hard to tune out the gossip because I genuinely wanted to go into recruitment with an open mind, but the more I heard, the more upset I became. By the time everyone left our room that night, I had essentially psyched myself into thinking that I was never, EVER going to find happiness in ANY Panhellenic sorority.

My mind was pretty much made up. I was withdrawing from NPC recruitment and rushing the Christian sorority on campus.

Now I apologize if my faith offends anyone, but it's really too big a part of this story to leave out. The only reason I didn't call my Pi Chi and withdraw from recruitment that night came during my evening quiet time.

"Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves." -Matthew 10:3

God convinced me to stick it out; just for one day. Maybe no sorority on campus had a squeaky-clean reputation, but I was far from perfect myself, and maybe God was calling me to spend the next four years learning to love imperfect people just as He does.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

The only reason I didn't call my Pi Chi and withdraw from recruitment that night came during my evening quiet time.

"Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves." -Matthew 10:3

I loved this. Isn't it amazing how He works sometimes to get through to us?

[AOT767]

First, I am loving this story so far! My views going into recruitment were fairly similar to yours, actually. Funny how a little time can change SO many perceptions!

Second, this

Originally Posted by facethemusic

Maybe no sorority on campus had a squeaky-clean reputation, but I was far from perfect myself, and maybe God was calling me to spend the next four years learning to love imperfect people just as He does.

is my absolute favorite! Agree with TriDeltaSallie, He works in fantastic ways!

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

Now I apologize if my faith offends anyone, but it's really too big a part of this story to leave out.

Sweetie, don't you EVER apologize for being a woman whose faith is important to her! To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, those who matter won't be offended, those who are offended don't matter!

[LAblondeGPhi]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Sweetie, don't you EVER apologize for being a woman whose faith is important to her! To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, those who matter won't be offended, those who are offended don't matter!

Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter

[I Am A Tourist]

Great story so far!

[facethemusic]

Round 1, Day 1 (Open House/Ice Water Teas)

I was an absolute nervous wreck that morning as I applied my makeup to the best of my ability, attempted to tame my unkempt brown mane, and zipped myself into a dress I never would've dreamed of buying had I not been assembling rush outfits. Some pearls and cute sandals finished off the outfit (heels were FAR beyond my comfort zone). When I looked in the mirror, I had to say, I felt pretty good. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad.

When I met up with my Pi Chi group, the nerves kicked into higher gear when I realized I was the only girl not wearing heels. Suddenly extremely self-conscious of my sandals, I asked my Pi Chi if I needed to go back to my dorm to grab different shoes, and she reassured me that I would be fine. Looking back, I'm glad she did - I would've absolutely DIED if I had worn heels that day.

It was HOT outside to say the very least - temperatures were in the upper 90s with the humidity putting the heat index at nearly 110. Before we had even been handed our schedules, we were already fanning ourselves with anything we could get our hands on.

I visited 10 houses on the first day of Round 1:

Double Bass - It made me extremely nervous that my very first rush party would be for a house I was particularly interested in. We lined up outside the front door, and after a few minutes the doors burst open as we were greeted by girls clapping, cheering, singing and dancing. I was completely caught off guard - I guess I was anticipating that rush would be prim and proper. My rush notebook simply says "what the heck just happened?" in regard to this party. Honestly, I can hardly remember anything about it other than that I had never been so nervous in my life. I cycled from rusher to rusher putting every ounce of effort I had into smiling and answering all their questions. I left hardly remembering what had happened, not really having any sort of opinion about the house, and hoping I had managed to make an okay impression.

Bassoon - I was nervous about this house based on the rumors I'd heard that they were made of money. Standing in line outside, I felt extremely self-conscious of my outfit, all of which probably cost me a total of about $50 (with the exception of the pearls, which had been a pre-rush "good luck" gift from my sweet mother). But when the doors flew open, I had a better idea of what to expect this time, and I smiled and sang along to their song (it was one of my favorites) as I walked in. My rusher led me to a couch where we sat down, and I immediately sang the Hallelujah Chorus in my head. It was so hot outside, and I had been dying to sit down after dashing to this house from the previous one. We talked about the typical rush topics - hometown, major, etc. I liked her okay, but I talked to her for the whole party which I'm pretty sure wasn't supposed to happen. Since I had only talked to one person and we hadn't really gone beyond surface-level topics, I left this house without really forming an opinion either way.

Cello - I'd heard so much about this house that in my mind I'd already pretty much counted this one out. It seemed to me as if some girls had been trained from their diaper days to someday pledge this chapter of this sorority. It was the "top" house on campus, the big dogs, and it was supposedly impossible to get into. I smiled and did my best, but of the three girls I talked to, each one seemed significantly less interested in me when I told them my hometown. I got the vibe that they were only interested in in-state girls with lots of connections, and they came off as condescending at times. I left this house knowing I probably wouldn't be invited back, and I didn't really mind.

Percussion - I absolutely LOVED this house!! I talked to four girls, and the fourth one and I hit it off so well that we didn't want to stop talking, and I was the last rushee to leave the house. When this rusher had asked me what kind of activities I planned to get involved in on campus, I mentioned a popular campus ministry. I know religion is supposed to be an off-limits rush topic, but I figured I may as well be honest. The girl jumped all over it - as it turned out, she was a leader in that organization and absolutely loved it. She gushed on and on about how it had done such great things for her relationship with the Lord. I'm sure our conversation broke some unspoken rush "rules," but having a conversation about faith was like a breath of fresh air. I very much wanted to come back to this house!

Oboe - This house didn't really make any impression on me. I loved their tshirts, which I mentioned to the three girls who rushed me, and looking back I think that may have come off as kissy-uppy. Oh well. Our conversations flowed decently but once again didn't really go beyond the usual hometown-major. I hoped I would be invited back to this house to give it another chance, because I had heard good things about it.

Saxophone - I had built up SO much anticipation for this party, and I couldn't WAIT to get inside. Based only on my knowledge of the sororities prior to recruitment, I wanted so badly to be a Saxophone. The house did not disappoint. I talked to two girls, and one of them was in a major very similar to (and probably equally as difficult as) my own. We chattered about why we had both chosen this field, I expressed my nervousness that I wouldn't be able to cut it academically, and she assured me that I'd be just fine. I really enjoyed talking to her, and I still loved Saxophone after this party!

Violin - I'd heard rumors that this chapter had been struggling to make quota, but honestly I couldn't understand why. The three girls I talked to were sweet and down-to-earth, and I really appreciated the fact that our conversations avoided the overdone topics of hometown and major. I talked with one girl about Harry Potter and swapped funny pet stories with another. I genuinely enjoyed my time at this house and sincerely wished to go back.

Voice - This house, like Oboe, didn't really make an impression on me. I talked to three girls about surface-level things and while they seemed nice enough, I didn't connect especially well with any of them. Their house, however, was by far the prettiest I had been in up to that point, which I genuinely complimented them for. I hoped I would be invited back so I'd have another opportunity to form an opinion of this group.

Guitar - I ADORED this house!! I think something went wrong with the rotations and I somehow ended up talking to three girls at once. That was slightly intimidating, but we made it work. We had an absolutely hilarious conversation about food. I gushed about how much I loved Mexican food, the first rusher answered that Chinese was her favorite, the second voiced her preference for seafood, and the third liked Italian. Ultimately, the four of us reached the conclusion that food in general rocks. They recommended some restaurants near campus for me to try, and I told them what places they should hit if they ever visited my hometown. I left feeling great about this house!

Piano - Standing outside the door to this house, I did NOT feel like putting much effort into making a good impression here because 1) it was the last party of the day and I was BEYOND exhausted, and 2) because based on girls who had pledged this chapter in my home region I was convinced I wouldn't like it. But I forced myself to smile and be gracious, and I was pleasantly surprised. One of my conversations here that day was focused on Harry Potter as the rusher and I compared sororities to the Hogwarts houses, ultimately concluding that we'd much rather have the Sorting Hat choose for us than have to go through the stress of rush! It was refreshing to hear someone admit that rush wasn't all fun and games, and I felt like I could be honest with her about my state of exhaustion and stress. I left this house feeling very conflicted - I had enjoyed my time here but was weary of the stereotypes associated with this group where I came from.