help! bad sorority rep!

sconnie09 · #1 03-24-2012, 04:47 PM

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knight_shadow · #2 03-24-2012, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sconnie09

hey guys! i'm fairly new to greekchat and the greek system. i'm a sophomore and rushed this past fall and have been initiated into my sorority. i have a problem and need your help! my sorority has a bad reputation as being "ugly" and "boring" and "weird." i have no idea where this reputation came from but all other sororities hate us and frats hate us. we can't get a social with any of the big, popular frats. im feeling very down about this because it's like people look at me funny when i tell them im an "XYZ" and i just dont know what to do. i want to have to same opportunity as other girls to meet guys in the better frats and do fun things like derby days. please give me some advice!

You sound stuck up.

Why not mingle with the guys in the "worse" frats?

Splash · #3 03-24-2012, 04:58 PM

I'd have a meeting with your chapter and discuss some ideas of how you can turn this around. Some ideas:

1) Look good and be fun when you wear your letters. Let's say you look awesome one day, wear your letters and be sociable and make friends!

2) Plan events that give back to your campus. For example, during finals, have a table set up near the library that gives free coffee or free chips or something.

3) Plan events with other Greek groups that aren't socials. I would reach out to more than one (maybe 1 other sorority and 2 fraternities) and plan an event that is not a social. This forms friendships which leads to people wanting to mix with you. Establish good relations with other Greek groups and continue to branch out to even more Greek groups from there.

4) Get involved on campus! How can someone think your rep is bad if your sister is homecoming queen or captain of the soccer team?

You need to turn this around and I feel the best way to do this is to start connecting with others as friends. They don't know you and that's why you have a rep. When they get to know you and see how awesome you guys are the rep will slip away. I hope some of my ideas helped and hopefully other posters will offer some other suggestions or critique mine if they're not sound.

sconnie09 · #4 03-24-2012, 05:10 PM

@knight_shadow: im not stuck up, i just hate that people form a negative opinion about me when they see what house im in.

@splash: thank you so much for the advice!

knight_shadow · #5 03-24-2012, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sconnie09

@knight_shadow: im not stuck up, i just hate that people form a negative opinion about me when they see what house im in.

If it makes you feel bad when folks do it to you, why would you do it to others? Why can't you mingle with fraternities, as opposed to "big, popular" fraternities?

sconnie09 · #6 03-24-2012, 05:28 PM

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knight_shadow · #7 03-24-2012, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sconnie09

i do. it just bothers me that there are some that literally won't mingle with us just for the fact that we don't have a great reputation!

...and you're doing the same by ignoring the less-than-popular guys.

excelblue · #8 03-24-2012, 06:12 PM

I'll be blunt here. Do you remember that you are part of that very sorority?

Have you done anything yourself to address this issue? Or, are you just complaining about the rest of your chapter?

Are you actively doing things to give your sorority a good reputation? Or, are you leaching off the reputations of your sisters?

Have you spoke to the fraternities in question and figured out some way for them to have a social with you? Or, are you just observing that you don't have socials with those fraternities?

More so, did you or your chapter ever do anything that gives your chapter a positive reputation? It's something that's earned, not given, traded, or kept.

Those are things to think about: you are a part of your chapter as much as every one of your sisters.

AnotherKD · #9 03-24-2012, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

...and you're doing the same by ignoring the less-than-popular guys.

Boom.

MysticCat · #10 03-24-2012, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

...and you're doing the same by ignoring the less-than-popular guys.

Bingo.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sconnie09

im feeling very down about this because it's like people look at me funny when i tell them im an "XYZ" and i just dont know what to do.

Make the choice to be proud instead of embarrassed.

33girl · #11 03-25-2012, 12:13 AM

ALL sororities on campus should be invited to participate in Derby Daze. If this isn't the case, Sigma Chi's national headquarters should be contacted immediately. If it's your sorority that is ignoring the event, I would speak up (sooner rather than later) and say that the newest pledge class would like to change that and participate.

Quit worrying about getting mixers with the "popular" fraternities (frats grates like nails on a chalkboard, you might want to not use it). Have fun socializing with the ones who like you and forget the ones who are too stuck up to give you a chance.

IndianaSigKap · #12 03-25-2012, 03:55 PM

To add to what a previous poster said above, do work on your social networking and I don't mean online social networking sites. Get out there and meet people. If you have a chapter house, do dinner exchanges with fraternities and other sororities. When we did them we would send 8 members of our chapter over to the other chapter and they would send 8 to ours. Send your most outgoing members to the other chapter because they do not have others to rely on for conversation. Usually the 8 guests were split up among all of the tables. The sisters remaining at home to hostess can rely on each other to support and carry the conversation with the one guest. The fraternity men can see that your chapter is full of nice, intelligent young ladies. Believe me, they will tell others. It doesn't cost anything because you are just swapping numbers. If you don't have chapter houses, you have to be a little more creative. You can reserve an on campus room and have a study break for an hour or so, with snacks or meet up at a local restaurant for a group dinner date. I think your best bet is to just get out there and show the campus what you're really like. Start having days where the chapter wears letters while looking their best and use part of your budget to reward sisters for doing this. One of the chapters I advised did a token reward system like this. Sisters put names in the box when they saw a sister perform a random act of kindness, attend another chapter's philanthropy event, wear letters or badge looking especially nice, etc. At the end of the semester, they drew names out of the box for prizes like lettered tees, a hoodie, and the big prize each semester was free chapter dues for the following semester. (The advisers got together with the alumnae sponsored this prize.)

AOEforme · #13 03-25-2012, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sconnie09

hey guys! i'm fairly new to greekchat and the greek system. i'm a sophomore and rushed this past fall and have been initiated into my sorority. i have a problem and need your help! my sorority has a bad reputation as being "ugly" and "boring" and "weird." i have no idea where this reputation came from but all other sororities hate us and frats hate us. we can't get a social with any of the big, popular frats. im feeling very down about this because it's like people look at me funny when i tell them im an "XYZ" and i just dont know what to do. i want to have to same opportunity as other girls to meet guys in the better frats and do fun things like derby days. please give me some advice!

Unfortunately, the tiers at Madison are not going to change a whole lot....I went through recruitment 6 years ago and the top three and bottom two are exactly the same. If you are looking to switch to top tier it is not going.to happen.

However you CAN improve the reputation of your chapter. Run for panhel rep and volunteer members of your chapter (especially the bright and vivacious ones) to help out. Maximize your opportunities with the mandatory Sorority Sisterhoods and Sober Socials. Go to fraternity philanthropy events..... All of them.

If you show up at their house on Friday nights to drink beer expecting to be paid for because you are a sorority girl, that won't help. Build friendships and go from there. Any fraternity mixer I planned was with a friend in another chapter. I was wary to plan mixers with people I didn't know that well.

Good luck!

AOEforme · #14 03-25-2012, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap

Start having days where the chapter wears letters while looking their best and use part of your budget to reward sisters for doing this. One of the chapters I advised did a token reward system like this. Sisters put names in the box when they saw a sister perform a random act of kindness, attend another chapter's philanthropy event, wear letters or badge looking especially nice, etc. At the end of the semester, they drew names out of the box for prizes like lettered tees, a hoodie, and the big prize each semester was free chapter dues for the following semester. (The advisers got together with the alumnae sponsored this prize.)

Every chapter at UW has several supportive alumnae and/or alumna chapters. Just ask and I'm sure you would have people willing to set this up.

33girl · #15 03-25-2012, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOEforme

Unfortunately, the tiers at Madison are not going to change a whole lot....I went through recruitment 6 years ago and the top three and bottom two are exactly the same. If you are looking to switch to top tier it is not going.to happen.

Did I miss something????