Help Please!!

OhSoBright · #1 11-08-2011, 09:27 PM

Hello everyone, I'm new to the site and I had some questions i wanted to ask. My questin is how do a person ask a member of a sorority that they are interested in about the requirements to join their sorority without offending them and without sounding desperate?? And what do you all thik is the best way be noticed by that sorority?

DeltaBetaBaby · #2 11-08-2011, 09:38 PM

What type of sorority? NPC, NPHC, MCGLO, local, or none of the above?

sigmadiva · #3 11-08-2011, 11:58 PM

My guess is NPHC.

OhSoBright · #4 11-09-2011, 03:38 PM

NPHC

etadrisophila · #5 11-10-2011, 11:23 AM

Hi Bright:

I am not sure why sorority members would be offended if you asked about their organization. People love to talk about themselves and the things they are passionate about.

Do you know any current members? If not, find out who the members are and look for them in your classes or other activities that you participate in. Ask members why they joined the sorority, how they are involved, what is their favorite aspect of being a member, etc.

Once you talk with a few members, they may ask you if you are interested in becoming a member. But if not, after you've had some meaningful conversations with members, then ask about the requirements for membership.

Think about not only the things that sorority membership will do for you but also about the things that you have to offer to the sorority.

Desperation is one thing; enthusiasm is another. You will not sound desperate unless you feel desperate.

Keep us posted on your progress!

DrPhil · #6 11-10-2011, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OhSoBright

NPHC

You will already know how to talk to the members if you have been attending the chapters' programs and reading the organizations' and/or chapters' websites.

knight_shadow · #7 11-10-2011, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by etadrisophila

Hi Bright:

I am not sure why sorority members would be offended if you asked about their organization. People love to talk about themselves and the things they are passionate about.

Do you know any current members? If not, find out who the members are and look for them in your classes or other activities that you participate in. Ask members why they joined the sorority, how they are involved, what is their favorite aspect of being a member, etc.

Once you talk with a few members, they may ask you if you are interested in becoming a member. But if not, after you've had some meaningful conversations with members, then ask about the requirements for membership.

Think about not only the things that sorority membership will do for you but also about the things that you have to offer to the sorority.

Desperation is one thing; enthusiasm is another. You will not sound desperate unless you feel desperate.

Keep us posted on your progress!

It sounds like you are unfamiliar with the type of organization that the OP is interested in.

etadrisophila · #8 11-10-2011, 11:46 AM

Knight Shadow-
Oops-
thanks for pointing that out kindly!

DrPhil · #9 11-10-2011, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by etadrisophila

Knight Shadow-
Oops-
thanks for pointing that out kindly!

No sweat.

Just so you know, to use myself and my NPHC sorority as an example, I love Delta but I do not love talking about Delta to aspirants. I actually do not talk about Delta to collegiate and alumnae aspirants. Most aspirants have done zero research and are asking the most basic questions that they could find out if they attended local programs or read a website. That gets annoying. Aspirants need to catch up with Delta and not the other way around. Once they catch up with Delta, I am more than happy to talk to them because it is no longer about me having to school them. What I typically say is a very general comment: "In addition to attending programs and conducting your own research, if you have not already done so, I encourage you to find out whether you have friends, family, acquaintances, friends of family members, family members of friends, K-12 teachers or college professors, church members, etc. who are Deltas. Most Blacks/African-Americans do."

OhSoBright · #10 11-13-2011, 12:14 AM

Thanks everyone for the feedback it really helps!

To etadrisophila i have talked to one member so im not as nervous as i was before. The reason I was nervous is because I still have a few problems with walking up to ppl and asking them things and talkn in front of crowds that kind of thing. I know I will have to break out of it, but I'm trying. The only time i ever thought about asking an of the member about their sorority was before I did my research and looked at the websites. I just feel like if you're gonna ask something, ask about requirements or something of that nature becuz each sorority is different. And along with each sorority there are different chapter that may require something different at a different university. But I will surely keep you posted.

To Dr.Phil yes I've been on the different websites, consistantly actually. I do know of many people that are greek. The majority of the younger women in my family are Deltas. The much older women are OES, like myslef. I understand about the questions being asked A LOT...I saw the post you all were replying to. The questions that were asked were questions I had gotten answered years ago. All of those you have named I know of like having family members, friends, friends of family members and so on. I just try my best not to offend anyone from any sorority and only ask appropriate questions. Thanks a lot tho!